WELL HOWDY, REV'LERS!
I’m Rev. Art. That's our next-door neighbor Butch - He stuck mistletoe in the studded collars on his pit bulls. Welcome to our crib in Metro Fairborn and THE HOLIDAZED STAND-UP!
WELL HOWDY, REV'LERS!
Season’s Greetings to everyone - as we prepare to celebrate the Winter Solstice.
Did you know the Babylonians used to celebrate for 9 days during this time of the year? We hope your holidays bring you the warmth and happiness associated with gatherings of family and friends, plenty of good food and drink, and the joy of giving.
LOOK AT RUDOLPH - ALL LIT UP LIKE A CIGARETTE!
“…Side by side though oceans part us
One by one it’s understood
Day by day the dawn is breaking
On the bond of brotherhood.”
[“Ode II Joy“]
Little Art: Can I have a dog for Christmas?
[“Ode II Joy“]
Mom: No, you’ll have turkey like everyone else.
OK, here’s the thing: he’s real, of course, and he’s a regular guy. He puts his red velvet trousers on one leg at a time. Like millions of other middle-aged men, he requires an elasticized waist.
Santa is half-Irish. He once considered joining a farming commune in Vermont. He can’t dribble to his left. He toured with a disco band in the ‘70s. He wears beard extensions. Santa REALLY pals around with William Ayres. He can sing the entire “Sweeney Todd” score.
And - here’s one to pay particular attention to when setting out snacks for the ol’ world traveler - Santa Claus is lactose intolerant… and diabetic.
Meanwhile... over at Pastor Rick Warren's Saddleback Mega-Church:
He's Jerry Foolwell in a Hawaiian shirt...
OY! IT'S CHANUKKAH BARBARA!
TO RE-GIFT OR NOT?
How many of you can truthfully say you have never “re-gifted”?
I’m sure most of us have forwarded a lame gift that we received from someone - say, in the workplace - to someone else. Even our friends and family occasionally present us with gifts that are SO unexpected - and unremarkable.
A case in point: in 2007 my brother, who works in an auto parts business, and his wife in Clearwater, FL, sent everybody motor oil. Sure, motor oil is useful - but, come on - Quaker State?! I had a guy’s name in a gift exchange, so I gave him Quaker State. I’m sure it’ll do fine in his Subaru…
Our wood craftsman son, made us a humidor last year. We don’t smoke, but that exquisite, finely-finished, cherry-wood box holds 48 DVDs! His wife, a lieutenant in the Greene County Sheriff’s Department, gave me a “Get Out of Jail Free” card.
Our marketing exec older son and his wife, gifted me with a certificate for Miguelito’s “All-I-Can-Cut-In 15 Minutes” tonsorial parlor in East Dayton. I almost used it one day last June, but the place was closed. Hmmm… We need something for Da Pagan Baby‘s boss.
Da Pagan Baby's sister and her husband in Kansas City, shipped a boxed-set of Julius La Rosa’s Greatest Hits to us early last holiday season. We’re (still) really looking forward to opening the package - and the prospect of hours and hours of pleasure listening to the mellifluous tones of the guy fired by Arthur Godfrey on live TV over 50 years ago - back when Art was hooked on Elvis and Ray Charles and Da Pagan Baby was becoming proficient starting her mom‘s Buick with a screwdriver.
I know - we’ll give ‘em to our lawn guy. He’s half-Italian, I think.
OUR CAT IS 18!
The lovely Sylvia, our perennially young, black velvet kitty with tuxedo front, turns 18 with this trip around the sun. She remains healthy and energetic, and makes no concessions to age. As we have noted before, Sylvia doesn’t DO cat years! There is no question - Sylvia adopted US all those years ago and we must continue to try to please her.
Sylvia has an extensive vocabulary of spoken words she understands: Daddy, Mommy, and her given name, as well as “baby girl”; and she is most responsive to “hungry” and “bed”. However, she continues to be confused by the word, “No”.
SYLVIA - A SELF PORTRAIT
Sylvia's half-Irish, too!
OOH, LOOK! IT'S KWANZAA BARBIE!
2008 has been the most exciting year for electoral politics in our lifetime. The convergence of foreign and domestic crises in our country and across the planet - with the election of a bright, daring president with a transformative agenda - is reassuring to us.
We wish you a warm and joyful holiday season and a new year filled with hope and peace.
Good fortune. COMMENT. Spread the meme.
Don't smoke in bed...