P.O.E.T.S. - 012905... INTRODUCING "SALOON SINGER CHRONICLES"... B-15 ICEBERG...

WELL HOWDY, REV'LERS! P.O.E.T.S.!

Piss on ever'thin' - t'day's Saturday, January 29, 2ôô5!

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Click to Check out "Saloon Singer Chronicles"

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Overlooked by Oscar!

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(Low Culture)  Jude Law in Alfie ... Jude Law in I ♥ Huckabees ... Jude Law in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events ... Jude Law in Closer ... Jude Law in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow... Jude Law in The Aviator

Bastards CAN'T HANDLE a handsome motherf*cker!

This photo, released by the National Science Foundation, shows the shear face of the B-15A iceberg. Icebergs, also referred to as tall water, often appear as a layer of frosting on an ocean, providing impetus to the theory that the planet earth was once a very large cake. (Associated Press) Chuck & Cletus

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(Click) INAUGURAL SOUVENIR

"Now I can dress myself" fridge magnet junk bros.

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Argus Hamilton's Best Liners of the Week

THIS JUST _________ IN ! !

President Bush was to meet Friday with GOP congressmen at the Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia. Beneath the hotel is a nuclear bomb shelter built by President Eisenhower. He never needed it, but then he never vowed to end tyranny in the world.

Leno: There was one kind of embarrassing moment during the inauguration – Chief Justice William Rehnquist told President Bush, "Repeat after me" and Bush said, "After me."

President Bush's father said the Inaugural address didn't signal a new foreign policy. What a relief. Somebody had to assure the Saudis that all this tyranny-bashing wasn't aimed at countries that sponsor the Bush Presidential Library.

President Bush defended his Social Security plan to black leaders Monday. He said private accounts will benefit blacks since they live shorter lives. It may well have been the worst idea for an applause line in the history of speech writing.

Condi Rice faced criticism in the Senate before her confirmation as Secretary of State. She missed warnings of 9-11 and made a false case for WMDs in Iraq. Americans can only be grateful she was the National Security Advisor and not the Social Security Advisor.

Democrats delayed Condi Rice's confirmation as Secretary of State . She's an accomplished piano player and also a figure skater. If Bill Clinton had named a figure skater his Secretary of State, the Republicans would still be impeaching him.

Democrats vote on February 12th on the party chairmanship. Nut-Fundie Panderer Dr. James Dobson said the Democrats meeting on Lincoln's Birthday is just another cave-in to the gay agenda.

Hillary Clinton spoke to a pro-choice rally in Albany Monday held in response to a pro-life march in Washington D.C. She said she's interested in reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies. She's been pressuring Bill to date older women. 

HERE'S SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT!

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The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln is a new biography which purports that the sixteenth president was gay. No comment here. The late, great Johnny Carson always advised comics to remember one rule about doing Abe Lincoln jokes - it's STILL too soon.

The West Wing star Stockard Channing was charged in Los Angeles Court Monday with drunk driving. Her blood alcohol level was double the limit. For four years she's played Martin Sheen's wife and now she feels ready to play Martin Sheen's son.

The Cartoon Network agreed Tuesday to air commercials warning children about the dangers of gambling. You can't learn too early. The reason the bellmen in Las Vegas hotels look so distinguished is because just last week they were customers.

The New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles won their league titles Sunday and will now face each other in the Super Bowl. This game is the biggest event in advertising and marketing history. Only George Jones has sold more beer.

Click to view Rummy's drop-dead hillarious take-off on Pennsylvania Groundhog Winter Predictor Puxhatawney Phil. Rummy doesn't get the weather correct either!

Leno: EEK!! Quite a scare for Trump’s new wife. She woke up and saw what his hair looked like in the morning.

Leno: Mel Gibson’s "The Passion of the Christ" got nominated for three lesser Academy Awards: cinematography, makeup and musical score. Apparently Hollywood felt the movie looked great, but the story wasn’t believable.

This week was National No Name-Calling Week in public schools across the nation. They don’t want any name-calling in our public schools. What dipshit came up with this idea?

WARNING! !        NC - 17
 

According to Self magazine, one in four women say they have negative thoughts about their body during sex. See, why do women worry about these kinds of things? During sex most men are thinking about some other woman’s body anyway. Don’t worry about it.

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Achmed was riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and got on it again. Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road.

There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said ,"If you fix our car we will do anything you want."
The man knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished the three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mister?"
After thinking for a short while he replied,"Could you hold my camel?"    

 

<<< Discipline me!

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Men are like Snow Storms you never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long they'll last . . .

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Please tell your boobs to stop staring at me!

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you give head?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.

As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you put out?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.

He dropped her, too. The poor woman hoped for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I give head! I put out!" she screamed in panic.
"Shameless Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

Good fortune. Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed.

Da Rev