Well howdy, Rev'lers!
Piss on ever'thin' - 'tis St. Paddy's Week...Young O'Donnell rushed into a church, placed his rifle under a pew and entered the confessional. "Father," he said breathlessly, "I've just shot down two British lieutenants!" Hearing no response he went on: "I also knocked off a British captain!" When there was still no response from the priest, O'Donnell said, "Father, have ye fainted?" "Of course I haven't fainted," replied the confessor. "I'm waitin' for you to stop talkin' politics and commence confessin' your sins!" Boyle sat in a Belfast confessional. "Bless me, Fa'her, for I have sinned," he said. "I've blown up three hundred miles of English railroad!" The White House didn't invite Sinn Fein head Gerry Adams for St. Patrick's Day lunch. How sad. Imagine the Irish activist's sorrow when he heard he won't get to spend St. Patrick's Day with a president who's English and Protestant and no longer drinks. Click Click to visit: Click to see Da Rev's
FAILTE!
ERIN GO BRAGH!
"All right, my son," admonished the priest.
"For penance, do 3 Hail Marys!"
ROBERT EMMET UNIT-IRISH NORTHERN AID
Irish Coat of Arms
(on me Mum's side)
THIS JUST ___________ IN ! ! Peter Arnett told Playboy that Udey Hussein was just about to overthrow his father when U.S. troops pulled into Baghdad. You can't make it up! Not only did Saddam Hussein not have any weapons of mass destruction, but President Bush saved his life! Syrian dictator Bashar Assad ordered his troops out of Lebanon. He cut it very close. The dictator knew he was in trouble when Baghdad Bob's agent called him in Damascus Friday and asked if he needed a comedian to work the invasion. Kuwait was the site of feminist protests Sunday demanding that women receive the right to vote in Kuwait. The country is way behind the times. The number-one television show in Kuwait City is Eight Simple Rules for Purchasing my Daughter. FBI Director Bob Mueller said Tuesday that Arab terrorists are slipping over the Mexican border and adopting Spanish names so as not to attract attention. Californians are beginning to notice them. They trim trees with plastic explosives. Click George Tenet called off his book deal Wednesday. He knows anything he writes could alienate future consulting clients. If he had shown this much analytical ability at the CIA, our troops would be on the Mexican border today where they belong. Rob Reiner said he may run for governor of California. He demands affordable housing in rich neighborhoods. Rob Reiner is a true Hollywood socialist, not like Warren Beatty who built a gated community from the profits he made on the movie REDS. White House stooge Jeff Gannon got his own website Monday. The gay prostitute just told a grand jury about his link to a White House staffer who exposed a CIA agent's cover for not playing ball in Iraq. The situation is so hard to understand that President Bush must be furious over how quickly HE was eliminated as a suspect. Presbyterian Hospital was the site of surgery Thursday to remove excessive fluid from former president Clinton's lungs. They put him under anesthesia. Still, every time the surgeon called for suction the former president sat up on the operating table and denied everything. Click Howard Dean said Monday the Democrats are raising over a million dollars per week since he took over. He said he wants to win over white Southern working-class voters. In every speech south of Kansas he refers to the Republicans as the Party of Lincoln. Senator Robert Byrd compared GOP efforts to end Senate filibusters to Adolf Hitler's tactics in railroading the Reichstag. It was scary. Ever since Condi Rice wore those black leather boots in Germany, people can't help thinking it could happen here. The U.S. Postal Service unveiled stamps Wednesday honoring plants and animals, to reflect the administration's concern for the environment. Republicans love plants and animals. Once they are extinct for ten years you can put them on stamps. HERE'S SOMETHIN' REALLY, Congress will hold committee hearings to investigate steroid use by major league ballplayers. Congressmen have no right to point fingers. Rickey Henderson's record for most steals was just erased halfway through the Highway Bill. Barry Bonds excused steroid use Friday, saying ballplayers are entertainers, not Olympic athletes. He implied baseball is an exhibition sport. OK! This leaves him free to forget Hank Aaron's all-time record and concentrate on breaking Meadowlark Lemon's. Martha Stewart returned to work on Monday to address her employees at Martha Stewart Omnimedia. She has a new perspective on life. For ten minutes she talked about the friends she made in prison and announced plans to found her own hip-hop label. Mel Gibson releases his newly edited version of his snuff film The Passion. The actors speak Aramaic, or so they claim. It's such a dead language that Mel Gibson might have had Jesus reciting Andy Kaufman's act on the cross and nobody would have known. 
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The Best Jokes of the Week from 
COMEDIAN ARGUS HAMILTON
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REALLY IMPORTANT!
4- new icons in Da Rev's Atheist Pin-Ups this week
=======>>> WARNING! NC - 17!
Yeah, it's a little late - BUTT . . .
One fine sunny morning, the priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool. "What's wrong with you?" said the priest.
"Well," said the frog, "the reason I am so sad on this fine day is because I wasn't always a frog."
"Really!" said the priest. "Can you explain!"
"Once upon a time I was an 11 year old Choir boy at the local church. I too was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the wicked witch of the forest. 'Let me pass!' I yelled, but to no avail. She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you."
"That's an incredible story" said the priest. "Is there no way of reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?."
"Yes" said the frog, "It is said, that if a nice kind person would pick me up, take me home, give me food & Warmth and with a good nights sleep would wake up a boy once again."
"Today's your lucky day!" said the priest, and picked up the frog and took him home. The priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by the fire and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. When the priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed,
"And that my lord is the case for the Defense ... "
Click to view this bonnie Irish lass!
As soon as she had finished convent school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business. Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went to confession in the church, which she had always attended as a child. In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her about her work. She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant. She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage. She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and backflips. Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies. They witnessed Lena's acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other: "Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin' out this night, and me without me bloomers on!"
"WHAT YE DO IN FAIRBORN - STAYS IN FAIRBORN!
Pat was found dead in his back yard, and as the weather was a bit on the warm side, the wake was held down to only two days, so his mortal remains wouldn't take a bad turn. At last his friends laid him in the box, nailed it shut & started down the hill into the churchyard. As it was a long, sloping path and the mourners were appropriately tipsy, one fellow lurched into the gatepost as they entered the graveyard. Suddenly a loud knocking came from in the box. Paddy was alive! They opened the box up and he sat up, wide eyed, and they all said, Sure, it's a miracle of God!
All rejoiced & they went back and had a few more drinks but later that day, the poor lad died. Really died. Stone cold dead. They bundled him back into his box, and as they huffed and puffed down the hill the next morning, the priest said, "Careful now, boys; mind ye don't bump the gatepost again."
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Pat and Mike were doing some street repairs in front of a known house of ill repute in Boston. A Jewish Rabbi came walking down the street, looked the left, looked to right, and ducked into the house. Pat paused a bit from swinging his pick and said "Mike...will you look at that! A man of the cloth, and going into a place like that in broad daylight!"
A bit later, a Baptist minister came down the street, looked to the left, looked to the right, and scurried into the house. Mike laid down his shovel, turned to Pat and said "Pat! Are you seeing what I'm seeing? A man of the Church, and he's giving that place his custom!"
Just then, a Catholic Priest came down the street, looked to the left, looked to the right, and slipped into the bawdy house. Pat and Mike straightened up, removed their hats, and Mike says "Faith, and there must be somebody sick in there."
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O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he went to confession to repent. "Father, it's 15 years since my last confession, and I've been stealing wood from the lumber yard all those years," he told the priest.
"I understand my son," says the priest. "Can you make a Novena?"
O'Toole said, "Fa'her, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."
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Father O'Malley is so upset about a rumor he's hearin' in the congregation. So on the next Sunday He announces" Faithful, I've heard despellin rumours that the flock believes in ghosts. By a show of hands who at church today believes they've ever set eyes on a ghost?"
To his dismay a lot show their hands."Oh no people.I've told you there's no such thing as a ghost and being God fearin Christians you can't believe in them."
His next question asked if anyone has ever touched a ghost before. Three of the flock raised aye. "No! no! There's no such thing I tell you! I hate as a Man of the cloth to ask this final question but I must.Is there any one in church today who will testify that they have ever had SEX with a ghost?"
Way in the back a lone hand went up.
"Mr.O'Conner!!! How can you stand before God and say you've had sex with a ghost?"
Said O'Conner, "Oops Fa'her, I thought you said wit' a GOAT!"
Click the Celtic Tiger
Good fortune. Please spread the meme.
COMMENT! Don't smoke in bed . . .
ARTH, A CELT 
