PISS ON EVER'THIN' -T'DAY'S SATURDAY, MAY 14, 2ôô5
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(Click thumbnails to view)
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Whenever Da Rev is in EXCRUCIATING PAIN he puts on PAMPERS and reads one of DEEPAK CHOPRA's books.
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Stoned Kitty, Kitty . . .
(Click)Stoned Kitty, Kitty . . .
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Click here for exclusive photo:
DAVE CHAPELLE IN REHAB
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Blinkorama
Wilburt F. Harsheill, co-chair of the
Religious Freedom Union of America
Click here for exclusive photo:
DAVE CHAPELLE IN REHAB
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(Click thumbnail to view)Blinkorama
Wilburt F. Harsheill, co-chair of the
Religious Freedom Union of America
LINCOLN, NE. Today legislators in the Nebraska State Senate have begun debate on a controversial measure to forbid the teaching of gravity in all institutions accepting state funds. Wilburt F. Harsheill, co-chair of the Religious Freedom Union of America, testified before the Senate Education Sub-Committee that "gravity is just one of many possible explanations why water flows downhill. To eliminate the possibility of Divine Intervention is an affront to the millions of church-goers in our country." In a long and impassioned presentation Harsheill went on to assert that "the secular humanists in charge of education policy in our nation have no explanation for the Ascension of Christ or Old Faithful and that students should be exposed to all sides equally." [Submitted by Massimo Pigliucci]
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Slate
THIS JUST _____ IN ! !
FLASH!! O. J. SIMPSON has been murdered by the "real killer" in an apparent suicide . . .
GO AHEAD - Ask me the DIFFERENCE between PHIL SILVERS and ALEXANDER HAIG!!
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The Dick Cheney's EMOTIONAL RESOURCES are heavily committed to 23% of the SMELTING and REFINING industry of the state of NEVADA!!
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The best current affairs jokes of the week from Comedian Argus Hamilton!
The White House and Capitol and Supreme Court were evacuated Wednesday after a Cessna strayed into restricted Washington airspace. The pilot knew he was in big trouble. As soon as he got out of the plane he took off all his clothes and formed a one-man pyramid.
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The best current affairs jokes of the week from Comedian Argus Hamilton!The White House and Capitol and Supreme Court were evacuated Wednesday after a Cessna strayed into restricted Washington airspace. The pilot knew he was in big trouble. As soon as he got out of the plane he took off all his clothes and formed a one-man pyramid.
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Twelve years ago a Cessna crashed into the side of the White House just outside Hillary's bedroom - so the president was never in any danger.
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Da Rev just got back this morning from Washington, D.C. This political activism thing never works out for me. Wouldn't you know it - the security suits were screaming for everybody to "GET OUT! GET OUT! YOU ONLY HAVE 2 - MINUTES!!" - just AS I walked into th' HOUSE O' REPRESENTATIVES wearin' a round cleric's collar with fourteen WET DOLPHINS and an out-of-date MARRIAGE MANUAL!
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The timeless beauty of
DONNA REED
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(Click)The timeless beauty of
DONNA REED
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President Bush observed The National Day of Prayer in the White House a week ago Thursday with a rabbi, a priest and James Dobson. It was a bad day for Freethinkers such as Rev. Art. Preachers are like anybody else, they always talk about whoever is not in the room.
(Click to SEE THAT MOTHERFUCKER PRAY!!)
Low Culture
The right hand certainly doesn't know
what the left is doing there, does it? Maybe he should buckle up!
Dr. James Dobson declared Monday that President Bush's legacy depends upon getting his judges confirmed. The fundie preacher wants judges who are conservative, upright and moral. Puritans believe that life is like a box of chocolates and you can't have any.
(Click thumbnail to view Dr. Pat Robertson)
Is this -
Pat prayin' like a motherfucker?
Pat with a "bitter beer face"?
Pat sufferin' a serious bout with diverticulitis?
Dr. James Dobson warned Sen. Bill Frist Tuesday he is risking his future if he compromises on judges. It sounds like a threat. The staff might come in one morning and find a note on the senator's desk that reads, he sleeps with the loaves and fishes.
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Evangelist Robert Tilton In a
preachin', preyin' frenzy.
Hush, hush, Sweet Charlatan!
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Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?
(Click to SEE THAT MOTHERFUCKER PRAY!!)Low Culture
The right hand certainly doesn't know
what the left is doing there, does it? Maybe he should buckle up!
Dr. James Dobson declared Monday that President Bush's legacy depends upon getting his judges confirmed. The fundie preacher wants judges who are conservative, upright and moral. Puritans believe that life is like a box of chocolates and you can't have any.
(Click thumbnail to view Dr. Pat Robertson)Is this -
Pat prayin' like a motherfucker?
Pat with a "bitter beer face"?
Pat sufferin' a serious bout with diverticulitis?
Dr. James Dobson warned Sen. Bill Frist Tuesday he is risking his future if he compromises on judges. It sounds like a threat. The staff might come in one morning and find a note on the senator's desk that reads, he sleeps with the loaves and fishes.
Click thumbnail to view Evangelist Robert Tilton In a
preachin', preyin' frenzy.
Hush, hush, Sweet Charlatan!
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A. Fill it with gas.
Q. How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
A. Three - his left ear, his right ear, and his wild front ear.
The Kansas Board of Education began hearings on Thursday into the teaching of evolution in Kansas schools. The region is bitterly divided. People in Missouri say that evolution can't be taught in Kansas until evolution has occurred in Kansas.
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Roq LaRue
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The pastor of the East Waynesville Baptist Church in North Carolina kicked out nine church members last week after they admitted voting for John Kerry. The nut-fundie preacher claimed there's evidence the Democratic nominee was once an agent of the devil. He played guitar in a band at teen dances.
(Click)Roq LaRue
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The pastor of the East Waynesville Baptist Church in North Carolina kicked out nine church members last week after they admitted voting for John Kerry. The nut-fundie preacher claimed there's evidence the Democratic nominee was once an agent of the devil. He played guitar in a band at teen dances.
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Slate
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The new Million Man March is scheduled this October in Washington. It's a Day of Absence from work and school, followed by a Day of Marching, followed by a Day of Religious Reflection. It's the time-tested way of achieving change through vagrancy.
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John "Got Milk?" Bolton, it was revealed Wednesday, told the Senate that policy makers should be free to state their own reading of intelligence. We should appreciate them for the artists they are. Bugsy Siegel looked at a barren strip of desert and saw Las Vegas, while John Bolton looked at the same thing and saw weapons of mass destruction.
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President Bush wiggled his fanny onstage in the former Soviet state Georgia Monday. He's a incurable flirt. Last week he held hands with the Saudi prince and Sunday he spent all day winking at Vladimir Putin about the need for democracy and an independent judiciary.
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Slate
(Click)Slate
"EVERYBODY GETS FREE BORSCHT!"
Berlin witnessed a protest march by thousands of neo-Nazis Monday who called for an end to Germany's cult of guilt. The police arrested eight teenage boys for giving the outlawed Hitler salute. Nowadays everyone wants to grow up to be pope.
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"Smoke 'em if y' got 'em, Ace ...
Berlin witnessed a protest march by thousands of neo-Nazis Monday who called for an end to Germany's cult of guilt. The police arrested eight teenage boys for giving the outlawed Hitler salute. Nowadays everyone wants to grow up to be pope.
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"Smoke 'em if y' got 'em, Ace ...
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New Zealand dropped charges against women who bared their breasts at Prince Charles in protest. It has worked there before. Women flashed their breasts at Bill Clinton to get him to stop docking nuclear subs in New Zealand, but it was his idea.
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New Zealand dropped charges against women who bared their breasts at Prince Charles in protest. It has worked there before. Women flashed their breasts at Bill Clinton to get him to stop docking nuclear subs in New Zealand, but it was his idea.
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HERE'S SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT!
Here in metro Fairborn, Ohio a puppy is vomiting ...
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Well, here I am in FAIRBORN ... I LIKE it. I HATE it.
I LIKE it. I HATE it. I LIKE it. I HATE it. I LIKE it.
I HATE it. I LIKE ... EMOTIONS are SWEEPING over me!!
I LIKE it. I HATE it. I LIKE it. I HATE it. I LIKE it.
I HATE it. I LIKE ... EMOTIONS are SWEEPING over me!!
Could THIS BE what it feels like to be potato salad?!!
What a tragic mishap - FAUX News is reporting that Jessica Simpson has been struck by a random thought!
Runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks was reported to be suffering from the stress of sexual abstinence. Her fiance is a devout Southern Baptist. He told her he was not going to sleep with her after he discovered she voted for John Kerry.
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New Yorker
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Runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks was reported to be suffering from the stress of sexual abstinence. Her fiance is a devout Southern Baptist. He told her he was not going to sleep with her after he discovered she voted for John Kerry.
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New Yorker
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The Kentucky Derby was won by Giacomo at Churchill Downs Saturday. The fifty-to-one longshot's victory allowed the bookies to make a record haul of ninety-nine million dollars from losing bets. A racetrack is a place where windows clean people. 
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"LET THE GoOD TIMES ROLL!"
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New York prosecutors charged three doctors Tuesday with giving large amounts of Viagra to the Mafia. In return, the doctors got free auto repairs. Warner Bros. just bought the film rights to the news story and plan to call the movie WOODFELLAS!
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New York prosecutors charged three doctors Tuesday with giving large amounts of Viagra to the Mafia. In return, the doctors got free auto repairs. Warner Bros. just bought the film rights to the news story and plan to call the movie WOODFELLAS!
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WARNING! 
NC - 17
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<=== You must be this many
to enter ... Uh. Two One ...
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Now I'm having INSIPID THOUGHTS about the beautiful, round
wives of HOLLYWOOD MOVIE MOGULS encased in PLEXIGLASS CARS and being approached by SMALL BOYS selling FRUIT...
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"Peel - A - Boo!"
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A man died and was sent to hell. A few seconds after his arrival, the Devil appeared in a cloud of smoke and said "Why hello, welcome to Hell! You're just in time for dinner, please follow me."
The man followed the Devil rather nervously, wondering what was going to happen, and was surprized to find a table piled high with delicious food waiting for him. Assuming this was his last good meal before hell started, he dug in.
When he was finished the Devil said, "Now allow me to show you to your quarters."
The man sighed and reluctantly followed the Devil down a long hallway. He could hear terrible blood-curdling screams coming from behind a door at the end of the hall. "Well," he thought, "this is it."
To his surprise the Devil turned left at the the door, and led him down another hallway and outside towards a magnificent beachhouse with a Porsche in front. When they got there the Devil handed the befuddeled man the keys to house and car, wished him a nice stay and turned to leave. The man couldn't take it any longer. He said to the Devil "Excuse me, but I don't understand. This is hell, and I'm being treated like a king! What was behind the door we went past on the way here? Is that what's really in store for me?"
The Devil smiled and said, "Why no, the room we went by is reserved for the Catholics. They seem to want it that way."
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Images of the Virgin of Guadalupe have been
showing up in some unlikely places lately -
A man died and was sent to hell. A few seconds after his arrival, the Devil appeared in a cloud of smoke and said "Why hello, welcome to Hell! You're just in time for dinner, please follow me."
The man followed the Devil rather nervously, wondering what was going to happen, and was surprized to find a table piled high with delicious food waiting for him. Assuming this was his last good meal before hell started, he dug in.
When he was finished the Devil said, "Now allow me to show you to your quarters."
The man sighed and reluctantly followed the Devil down a long hallway. He could hear terrible blood-curdling screams coming from behind a door at the end of the hall. "Well," he thought, "this is it."
To his surprise the Devil turned left at the the door, and led him down another hallway and outside towards a magnificent beachhouse with a Porsche in front. When they got there the Devil handed the befuddeled man the keys to house and car, wished him a nice stay and turned to leave. The man couldn't take it any longer. He said to the Devil "Excuse me, but I don't understand. This is hell, and I'm being treated like a king! What was behind the door we went past on the way here? Is that what's really in store for me?"
The Devil smiled and said, "Why no, the room we went by is reserved for the Catholics. They seem to want it that way."
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Images of the Virgin of Guadalupe have been
showing up in some unlikely places lately -
like this one that appeared on the ceiling
in my studio ...
Roq LaRue
(Click to view the late Redd Foxx
having a religious experience in
Da Rev's studio ...)
Artist: Jim Blanchard
Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt. "If you do not mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"
"I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in
my butt."
"I do not understand," said the other.
The first Arab says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an
American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out.
He said, 'I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.'"
I said, "No shit?"
in my studio ...
Roq LaRue
(Click to view the late Redd Foxx
having a religious experience in
Da Rev's studio ...)
Artist: Jim Blanchard
Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt. "If you do not mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"
"I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in
my butt."
"I do not understand," said the other.
The first Arab says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an
American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out.
He said, 'I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.'"I said, "No shit?"
What's the MATTER, Toby? Is your BEVERAGE unsatisfactory?
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Art-Photographer: David la Chappelle
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?
The husband replied, All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, What are you thinking now?
He replied, It looks as if I did a pretty good job.
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Roq LaRue
An professor was giving an introductory lecture - an autopsy demo - to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear. Having said that, he shoved his finger up the cadaver's anus and licked it. Now you must do the same, he told the class.
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.
Second, the professor continued, you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this mans anus, but licked my index finger?
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Roq LaRue
An professor was giving an introductory lecture - an autopsy demo - to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear. Having said that, he shoved his finger up the cadaver's anus and licked it. Now you must do the same, he told the class.
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.
Second, the professor continued, you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this mans anus, but licked my index finger?
(Click)
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Q. Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?
A. He loved it, but it scared hell outta his dog.
SCARED HELL OUTTA HIS DOG!!!
(Click dis chick ...)
I gotta go. Valet - Please have my CLASSIC two-tone, 1958 Nash METRO brought around. Yeah, it's parked next to Fred's AMC Pacer.
Good fortune. Please spread the meme.
COMMENT! Don't smoke in bed . . .
