P.O.E.T.S. !
PISS ON EVER'THIN' -
T'MORRA'S SATURDAY, August 20, 2ôô5!
I brought my BOWLING BALL - and some DRUGS!!
Excuse me - is there a chance that you and I have the SAME case manager?
(Click on images to enlarge)
Just for MORE FUN, I'll pretend I am AL PACINO and I am having a tense, UP-TIGHT EXPERIENCE!!
RUMMY- HO, RUMMY- HEY, how many PEOPLE, including SOLDIERS, did you KILL today??!
THE DEERSLAYER
Artist: Revilo
MY income is ALL disposable!
It's OKAY - I'm an INTELLECTUAL, too.
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NOW YOU CAN BATHE WITH JESUS !
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STILL KINDA FONDA WANDA!
THE 18 - Year Old "QUEEN OF ROCKABILLY" -
WANDA JACKSON breathed into that microphone and I thought she'd sent this 13-year-old Catholic Boy's soul to HELL!
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Have you watched SOUTH PARK. The childlike characters are semi-animated. I like the way ONLY their mouths move ... They look like DYING OYSTERS!
I'm not comfortable with the entire concept of SOUTH PARK. I was RAISED on thought balloons!!
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ISRAEL'S 2005 DISENGAGEMENT INITIATIVE -
AKA "THE JEW CARRY SHOW" . . .
"Yass, ve vill disengage peacefully - but first Ve do The Hora!"
Bang it out!
NUMBERS TO KNOW
In May 1967, the armies of Egypt, Jordan and Syria - with backing from several other Arab countries - amassed on Israel’s borders in a bid to wipe out Israel. In response, Israel launched a pre-emptive attack and unexpectedly gained control over land including the Gaza Strip and the West Bank. Israel later gave up about 90 percent of the territory it captured when, to make peace with Egypt, Israel evacuated the Sinai Peninsula.
After numerous fruitless bids to find a partner for peace with the Palestinians, in August 2005 Israel will carry out its disengagement initiative. Israel will hand over all of Gaza and part of the West Bank to the Palestinians, making it the first country in modern history to give up land acquired in a defensive war.
Jesse Jackson has promised to come to Gaza
to negotiate with recalcitrant settlers ...
DURING THIS SUMMER'S PULLOUT:
100% of the Gaza Strip will be evacuated and handed over to the Palestinians.
300 square miles of the West Bank will be evacuated.
21 Israeli settlements will be uprooted in the Gaza Strip.
4 Israeli settlements will be uprooted in the West Bank.
9,000 is the approximate number of Israelis, including 1,700 Israel families, currently living in the Gaza Strip and northern West Bank. All of them will be moved out as part of the withdrawal.
45,000 Israeli soldiers and policemen are expected to participate in the Gaza withdrawal.
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TOP DISENGAGEMENT PICK-UP LINES!
By Randy Agadi & Dina Pirutinsky
*Unlike Sharon, I promise not to withdraw from your territory.
*Orange? Orange you glad you met me?
*If they demolish your home, I'd be happy to build a bayis ne'eman b'Yisroel together.
I*f I show you my weapon, will you passively resist?
*If we leave Gaza will be a hot bed for terror. Speaking of hot beds...
*Why don’t you come over here and settle on my lap?
*I promise not to climax unilaterally!
*I know my limits … and it’s not the Green Line!
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SPEEDBUMP
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(Click images to enlarge)
Artist: Patricia Storms
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THIS JUST ______________ IN ! !
The White House revealed President Bush's vacation reading list. He is reading books about the history of salt, influenza epidemics and Russian czars. If this were anybody else's reading list it would raise a red flag with the Secret Service.
Arizona joined New Mexico Tuesday in declaring a state of emergency on their border with Mexico. It's up to them. President Bush is not unconcerned about illegal immigration but his top priority is to lead a balanced and disciplined life. 
President Bush met reporters with Condi Rice and Don Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney, but neither Condi nor Rummy nor Cheney said a word. All administrations are the same. Everybody is full of oratory until the special prosecutor starts getting warm.
Last week President Bush threatened to attack Iran if the Islamic republic tries to make atomic weapons. Not only that, he said it on Israeli television. It's the fastest way you can start a nuclear chain reaction without a physics degree.
Pope Benedict spoke to five hundred thousand young people in Germany at World Youth Day this week. It brings back fond old memories. The last time he hung out with this many young people in Germany they were massing on the Polish frontier.
Crawford ranch protester Cindy Sheehan sought to meet and pray with President Bush all week. Her family backs the war and her husband is filing for divorce. (And her little camp-out protest has been co-opted by the loony left while former Klansman David Duke sent her an ATTA GRRRL! in recognition of her anti-Semitic rants.) President Bush is determined to remain in Crawford until Cindy Sheehan is capable of self-rule.
Vegas bookies just posted President Bush's chances of coming out to speak with Cindy Sheehan EVER as one in ten million. 
Senator Trent Lott has written a new memoir that tells how Senators Bill Frist and Don Nichols sabotaged him over a toast to Senator Strom Thurmond. It's a great book to take to the beach. You've never seen so many right-to-lifers with knives in their backs.
HAPPY 59TH BIRTHDAY TO FORMER POTUS BILL CLINTON (pictured here in Hope, AK!)
The Bill Clinton Presidential Library was reported to be operating at profit after its first six months in operation in Little Rock. No one should be surprised. When you tell a Puritan-established nation that oral sex is not adultery, people will not only visit your shrine, they'll leave you tips in the brandy snifter.
Little Rock was dropped as the site for a library dedicated to trashing Bill Clinton. The group couldn't raise the money. Instead of building a library they are going to show porno movies in Monica Lewinsky's old apartment at the Watergate.
New York Republican Senate candidate Jeanine Pirro accused Democrats of whispering that she's being financed by mob money. Her husband is an accused mobster. It's not a very convincing denial when all she can say is that this is the life we have chosen ...
Democrats went on the radio last Saturday and hailed FDR on the seventieth anniversary of the Social Security Act. It won't get them any new votes. Most young people today think Franklin D. Roosevelt ended the Great Depression when he invented Prozac.
New Mexico governor Bill Richardson has beefed up manpower at the Mexican border to try to stop illegal immigration. He's Hispanic himself. It's the ethnic equivalent of President Bush's parents turning off Masterpiece Theater because enough's enough. 
Slate
Pakistan test-fired its first cruise missile last week in a blatant attempt to intimidate India. It flies beneath radar. If they attacked India with a nuclear cruise missile it could wipe out the entire U. S. customer service industry.
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HERE'S SOMETHIN' REALLY,
REALLY IMPORTANT!
CBS News reported that gasoline stations at remote spots on the Pacific Coast Highway in California are charging four dollars a gallon! Here in Metro Fairborn, Ohio, we saw gas prices hit $2.55 per gallon this week. Gas station owners say high gasoline prices are killing sales of sodas and candy and cigarettes. It's back to the drawing board for the Fairborn school lunch program.
Beverly Hills saw gasoline prices creep toward four dollars a gallon this week for unleaded. They're nothing if not adaptable out there. Two weeks ago when Unocal merged with Chevron, Angelina Jolie just wanted to know which one's the husband.
Slate
Jane Fonda will tour America in a bus that runs on vegetable oil to protest wars for petroleum. Who's going to pay attention to the war when Jane Fonda is riding around on vegetable oil? It's the sexiest thing she's done since BARBARELLA!
President Bush attended the Little League championship game last Saturday night in Waco, Texas. The baselines were haphazardly laid out. The local grounds crew believes that geometry is just the devil's way to get children to draw his symbols.
The National Enquirer, it was revealed, paid off Arnold Schwarzenegger's mistress two years ago to keep her quiet. The petition drive for a constitutional amendment to let him run for president has stalled. This should get it moving again.
IT'S HAPPY 85TH TO THE LOVELIEST, AUBURN-TRESSED, IRISH-AMERICAN LASS OF 'EM ALL - MAUREEN O'HARA!
AND MANY HAPPY RETURNS TO A RARE COMBINATION -
A RARE WIT, A BRILLIANT ACTRESS AND A BLOND BOMBSHELL -
SHELLEY WINTERS, WHO TURNED 85 THIS WEEK
WARNING!
PG - 34!
SPANK THAT COWBOY, GRANNY!
Kim du Toit
Ohio-born & bred damn near ever'where: TRACY LORDS didn't acquire her first firearm 'til she was of age . . .
OY VEY!
A rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: "SHMUCK!" At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name ... and forgot to write a letter." 
Artist: Sinistra
There was a man who spent his entire life looking for kulahs (leniencies) in all aspects of halacha (Jewish law) - whatever it was, he would search around until he found a rabbi who had a more lenient opinion he could rely on. After 120 years, he came up to the gates of Shamayim. Hashem looked at the man's life record and said, "Well, you certainly did everything I asked of you. Angels, please take this man straight to Gan Eden!" (Garden of Eden) The angels escorted the ecstatic man straight into the gates of heaven and brought him into a small room. But when they arrived, all there was in the room was a dark, damp cell, a table, and one small candle! The man was shocked and quickly looked angels and asked in horror, "This is Heaven???" The angels looked at him and said "According to some opinions."
ACTRESS SHARON STONE’S, Uhhmm, LEGACY!
A man was once walking and noticed a little store with a bunch of watches and clocks hanging in the window. The man walked in and said "Can you please fix my watch ?" The Guy behind the couter quickly responded "Sorry but I don't repair watches."
The confused customer said back, "YOU DON'T REPAIR WATCHES??
WHAT DO YOU DO??"
"I'm a Mohel"
Now even more confused the man asked, "If you are a Mohel, then why do you have watches hanging in the store front???"
"What do you VANT me to put in the window?"
"What's a Mohel?" some of you may ask. Let's just say he
does a bris business . . .
Sensual Liberation
YES! The revolution WILL be SENSUALIZED!
Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew University: "The future of the Jewish people is in your hands."
WHO NEEDS A LOCKER ROOM TO CHANGE? Yup - it's JENNA's BUSH!
Hmmmm, are there ANY natural blonds out there?!
Da Rev pulled this one outta The Last Chance Garage so you could see a real cream puff - a 1953 Studebaker Commander - Land Cruiser!
Good fortune. COMMENT!!
Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed - Ol' Sleepy Head . . .
