PISS ON EVER'THIN' -
T'DAY'S SATURDAY, September 17, 2ôô5
MISSION STATEMENT:
THIS WEB LOG exposes fictional characters in order to bring about sweeping reforms!!
(Click on any image to enlarge)
Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES??...
OK - Now, it's time to ``HAVE A NAGEELA''!!
NEVER accept chocolates from a Nazi!
Luckily, the exploding Smedley's English Red PLUMS in HEAVY SYRUP were intercepted in Turkey before anyone got killed.
If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?
I Believe In Life BEFORE Death.
FCC RULES are pretty simple, really . . .
If you see a boob, it's rated R ... if you shoot a boob, it's PG-13. 
"PET - ROCKER!"
HEY, ALEX! Are we "REAL PEOPLE" or "AMAZING ANIMALS"?
Here in METRO FAIRBORN, OHIO, the laundromats are open 24 hours a day!
IN ONE OF DAYTON'S HYSTERICAL DISTRICTS
Photo: Drexel Dave
I can see you GUYS an' GALS need a LOT of HELP...You're all very STUPID!! I used to be STUPID, too ... before I installed the GOOGLE Tool Bar!!
Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?
He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
Dyslexic Satanists, Sell Their souls To SANTA!
I STILL MISS KOJAK!
Artist: Sheneman
I have been working on a BIG BANG THEORY!!
When the Church ruled the World it was called the Dark Ages.
"A child-like man is not a man whose development has been arrested; on the contrary, he is a man who has given himself a chance of continuing to develop long after most adults have muffled themselves in the cocoon of middle-aged habit and convention."
[Writer - Aldous Huxley]
"Never do things others can do and will do, if there are things others cannot do or will not do."
[Amelia Earhart (1897-1937) American Aviator, Author]
POEM: ARTS COUNCILS FOR
by Jacques Barzaghi Writer's Almanac
Because there is no art
There are artists
Because there are no artists
We need money
Because there is no money
We give
Because there is no we
There is art
Artist: Swenson
THIS JUST _____________ IN ! !
Comedian Argus Hamilton has the best musings on current affairs this week:
Slate
A San Francisco federal judge threw out the Pledge of Allegiance Wednesday. He ruled a child cannot be compelled to acknowledge the existence of God. The thinking in San Francisco is, when he's old enough to try mushrooms he can find out for himself.
President Bush took responsibility for the slow government response to the crisis in New Orleans. He had to take responsibility for the hurricane that hit the Big Easy, he couldn't very well take credit. That's Pat Robertson's job.
IT'S NOT THE HEAT - IT'S THE STUPIDITY!
And let's not forget that the President has been distracted by the enormous effort that has been required to ignore Cindy Sheehan.
Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco said Monday the number of hurricane refugees is uncountable. It's true. One Cajun told reporters he lived in the bayou all his life and knows some Boudreaus, Thibideaux and Landrys, but he never met any Refugees.
President Bush addressed the United Nations on Thursday in calm and measured tones. Laura Bush was shown listening to the speech over the headphones. She was listening to Wilfred Brimley translate the speech into cowboy rhetoric for the yahoos who watch and listen Fox News. 
Oklahoma Southern Baptists last week offered New Orleans hurricane refugees free food and lodging at their beautiful church camp in the Arbuckle Mountains, however they would not be allowed to drink or smoke. So far there have been no arrivals. If they could live in a church camp, they would not be from New Orleans.
Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff explained red tape problems in hurricane response Friday by pointing out that Homeland Security combines one hundred agencies under one roof. It takes awhile for Republicans to grasp this concept. Most of them have never shopped at Wal-Mart. 
Artist: Grondahl
FEMA Director Michael Brown was told to leave. The office morale is still good. On his last day his staff threw a party for him, gave him a gold watch, and told him what his job had been.
The Mexican Army entered the U.S. Thursday with supplies for San Antonio. They brought mobile kitchen water treatment plants so our water will be as good as Mexico's water. Now we have a chance to win Best in Show at the Kaopectate Festival.
The U.S. Justice Department indicted a man in Soviet Georgia Wednesday who hurled a grenade at President Bush in Tblisi. It failed to explode. Ronald Reagan may have had Teflon but when you're really God's chosen president you have a force field. 
Artist: Lalo
Howard Dean caused a storm by saying President Bush didn't care about the people of New Orleans because they were black. That's just completely untrue. President Bush didn't care about the people of New Orleans because he thought they were all French.
There's no accountability in this administration. In five years they've wrecked both hemispheres and the only guy who lost his job was the White House chef. 
Artist: Crowe
Supreme Court confirmation hearings for John Roberts began Monday. Democrats couldn't get him. He graduated from Harvard Law School, he clerked under William Rehnquist, and he's rented nothing but Julie Andrews movies for the last twenty years.
The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would give Hawaiians their own tribal government, causing fears the state might secede from the Union. Who could blame them? They have to secede from the Union before the next hurricane or they will all be drowned.
HERE'S SOMETHIN' REALLY,
REALLY IMPORTANT!
George Carlin told Playboy magazine he spent fifty-four years smoking pot and drinking alcohol and snorting cocaine and taking Vicodin until he got sober in January. That's a lot of addictions. It's easier to withdraw from Iraq. 
Slate
The White House announced Wednesday it will fortify the U.S.-Mexican border by building fences equipped with television cameras. It will be expensive. Any Mexican who makes four camera appearances automatically qualifies for Screen Actors Guild medical coverage.
The Nuclear Regulatory Commission voted Friday to bury tons of nuclear waste in Utah. The desert is the safest place for radioactive material. Frank Sinatra's liver was buried near Palm Springs six years ago and so far there is no sign of widespread contamination. 
SOON: Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Capote"...
Carnival Cruises donated three luxury liners for evacuees last week. This is why we have elections. Democrats get eleven thousand cots in the Astrodome while Republicans get Jack Jones for the dinner show and Pat Harrington for the cocktail show.
Arnold Schwarzenegger said he will veto the same-sex marriage bill passed by the California Assembly. It could save baseball. If the bill becomes law, home-run hitters can marry their trainers and no one will be forced to testify against each other. 
WARNING!
PG - 34
A young lady came home from a date looking rather sad. She told her mother, "Arthur proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
Actress: Jacquelyne Bissett
A Buddhist approaches a hotdog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything."
He gives the vendor a $20 bill and waits. Finally he says: "Where's my change?"
Says the vendor: "All change must come from within."
KENYAN MAN, 85, BEGINS SCHOOLING
New York, NY (Laugh Fish) -
Kimani Ng’ang’ has waited 85 years to attend his first day of formalized school. Kimani is participating in a program through the United Nations that helps impoverished people from around the world get into structured educational programs. Kimani was joined by Nane Annan, the wife of U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan for a joint press conference to announce the launch of the program. When asked what his first day of school was like, Mr. Ng’ang’a said, “I probably felt just like any other boy on their first day of school. I was kind of embarrassed when I went up to write on the chalkboard because I had a huge boner.”
... HUGE BONER! ...
BRITNEY DELIVERS!
WHO'S THE DADDY?!?
... GASP! ... NOT MADONNA?!
Artist: Kevin Williams
OH, MAN! THEY'RE DOIN' EACH OTHER!!
A Greek and an Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture. The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon."
The Italian says, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek says, "We had great Mathematicians."
The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire."
... and so on and so on ... and then the Greek says: "We invented sex."
The Italian says, "That is true, but it was the Romans who introduced
it to women... "
What a beautiful day to pull the '41 Studebaker Champion outta The Last Chance Garage and tool on over to where Amelia keeps her aeroplane!
Good fortune. COMMENTS!!
Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed ...
