A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
A tip of the tight-fitting, brain-cramping Deerstalker Cap to YOU, Gentle Readers
See the "MAN WITH A PIPE", the photo atop the page of a red-headed stepchild in a deer stalker with a pipe? That's me, rev. Art. This is exactly the persona I am trying to project - strange . . .
“I want to find the secret of the universe and put it on a T-shirt. ($9.99 + tax + handling)”
Da Rev solicits your comments, suggestions, bitchin' and moanin'.
Yup, this blog is here to discuss RELIGION & POLITICS (& more) without fear or equivocation, but with an avowed purpose to improve the landscape, to increase the opportunities for rational discourse and to expose religious and/or political extremists and to debunk their rumors of wars and going to HELL in a handbasket.
If we can talk religion & politics without fighting, maybe others will get the same idea. Spread the meme, please. I’m not as clever as the fundies when it comes to getting the word out.
Even Aquinas said, “Beware the man of one book.”
I'VE FINALLY BECOME WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE -
I'M A RETIRED ECCENTRIC!
One of my final jobs in the global marketplace was telemarketing ... {{{ cringe }}} ...
I was NOT displaced by the "Do Not Call" list - I had sense enough to quit. WHAT A PHONY, DEMEANING WAY TO PULL DOWN A PAYCHECK! The "Call Center" is the most oppressive, inhuman, mind-numbing, uncomfortable workplace outside of, maybe, a foundry - and foundry workers make a lot more money!
Remember the soulless telemarketing lobbyists' disgusting, heart-tugging counter argument: Millions of people will lose their jobs!
Counter-counter argument: Muggers have jobs, too. That doesn’t mean they deserve to keep them.
For what it’s worth, a couple years ago, even Congress gets it right twice a year or so. They gave the FTC the authority to implement the "Do Not Call" list.
“We are confident this ruling will be overturned and the nearly 50 million Americans who have signed up for the do not call list will remain free from unwanted telemarketing calls in the privacy of their own homes,” Reps. Billy Toejam (R-La.) and John Dingellberry (D-Mich.) said in a statement.
I'm on the "Do not call list" here in my home studio/office. It has worked well, except for the occasional anti-social and/or desperate sub-cretin who has so few marketable skills that he or she ends up in a "call center" or cube farm. Sitting at a cramped computer desk wearing a headset, the employee is under a lot of pressure - to make a minimum number of calls and to secure positive responses from a certain percentage of actual people. I've been on both sides of this midway. As I said, these days I'm a respondent - or not, according to how I feel about a call. I find that with fewer calls I tend to try to make the most of the ones who slip through. I'm what's known in the telemarketing industry as a "smart ass" - or worse.
Caller: “How are YOU today?”
Rev. Art: (Who the f*ck wants to know? And why do you give a f*ck?)
“How are YOU today?”
(Bummer,Like, I’m on “home incarceration”. Would you bring me some beer? HELLO? YOU STILL THERE?!) Man.
“How are YOU today?”
(HEY!! ARE YOU THE !^@#%$ RATSLELFRACAS *$&# MAMMYJAMMER WHO’S BEEN BOINKIN' MY OL' LADY?!?)
“How are YOU today?”
(I’m OK. Who’s this?)
“My name is Trampalene, and I’m calling to ...
(”GET OUT! TRAMPALENE! WOW, I NEVER EXPECTED A CALL FROM YOU AFTER ALL THIS TIME. WHAT’S IT BEEN - - FOUR YEARS?
*Switch to smooth, husky delivery* (Hey, Baby, it’s about time we hooked up again.)
“I don’t know you.” Or, “Do I know you?”
Proceed to sketch the one-night stand scenario jumping quickly to grapic descriptions of sexual positions.
( Oh, Trampalene you are without a doubt the finest piece of . . .)
Yeah, it wastes as much time as the spiel would have consumed, but it’s so much more fun. And, who knows - you may convince Ol' Trampalene that she should sample a slice of the ol' direct marketer salami again! ... click! ...
The Appointment Setters
Everyone who lives in a brick home (or, better yet, a brick rental unit) has had some dipwad call to say,“We’re offering 50% off on aluminum siding installation on your street, because we have several other jobs at this time. This offer is good only while we are working in your neighborhood.”
(Oh? Who are these idiots, anyway? Our whole plat has nothing but brick homes (or is an apartment complex! Give me the names of these imbeciles - - let me write them down - - I think they’re ready for another kind of home!)
Da Rev loves it when storm window salespeople call. I listen politely for a while, then break in with"Excuse me. I hate to interrupt, but I really should tell you that we live in an underground home - we don’t HAVE windows!
The usual reply is credulous: “Oh, really? You know I’ve read about those, but I’ve never known anyone who ...”
(Yeah, we save aof energy. And you should have saved YOUR energy, too!") ... click! ... LOT
(Click image to enlarge)
Good fortune. Please spread the meme. COMMENT!! Don't smoke in bed ...
