P.O.E.T.S.PISS ON EVER'THIN' -
T'DAY'S SUNDAY, January 1, 2ôô6 (give or take 12 hours or so...)
WELL HOWDY, REV'LERS!
THUS BEGINS OUR 8TH YEAR OF REV'LERY!
I hope you get all you can USE and no more than you can HANDLE in 2ôô6!
(Click on any image to ENLARGE IT)
AULD LANG SYNE ("Old long since") [Scottish Poet
Robert Burns]Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne.
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll tak a cup o kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!
And there's a hand my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o thine,
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne.
DEC. 31, 1985: The untimely demise of TV-Recording Icon RICKY NELSON in a plane crash; he was one great Rockabilly innovator!January 1 is J.D. Sallinger's 87th birthday; Holden Caulfield was conceived in 1941, brought to life in a short story in the pages of the New Yorker in 1946, and made indelible as an icon of American fiction in 1951 with the publishing of "Catcher In the Rye".
January 2 is the birthday of one of the most prolific writers of the 20th century, Isaac Asimov, born in Petrovichi, Russia (1920). His friend Kurt Vonnegut once asked him how it felt to know everything and Asimov replied, "I only know how it feels to have the reputation of knowing everything. Uneasy."
QUOTE / UNQUOTE
(ASIMOV & ANNIE LAURIE GAYLOR, FREETHOUGHT ACTIVIST)"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster." [Isaac Asimov]
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
[Philip K. Dick (1928-1982)]
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." [George Bernard Shaw]
ACTUAL PHOTO OF GOD?!Bowling for Columbine did it to the gun culture.
Super Size Me did it to fast food.
Now "The God Who Wasn't There" does it to religion.
A guided tour through the bizarre world of Christendom. Along the way, you will discover: Jesus Christ is likely a fictional character, a legend never based on a real human. Christian doctrine contradicts itself at every turn, and encourages immorality when it serves the religion. The beliefs of moderate Christians make even less sense than those of extremists.
And God simply isn't there.
View the trailer! The God Movie
THIS JUST __________ IN ! !
Wonkette THE FINE GRIND AT THE KARMA COFFEEHOUSE!
It's officially okay if this news brings you a
measure of delight. In the town where Su Lin (a panda cub) hangs her
less-cute-than-the-Stick head, iconic Abu Ghraib figure Lynndie England,
currently stuck in a military stir for detainee abuse, was badly burned when
she was splattered with scalding chicken grease.
The pain was no doubt exquisite, and England's mother was reportedly furious over the treatment she received at the emergency room: "They gave her nothing...To think they give you nothing for pain."
We had thought that the disciplined training most soldiers receive condition them to bravely fight through pain. Maybe that's just a quality shared by soldiers that don't massively dishonor their service and country.Well, from all of us at Wonkette, we'd like to wish Lynndie England a big fat BOO-fucking-HOO! [DCEIVER]
Comedian Argus Hamilton offers these liners for the end of 2005:
Alabama
was sued by the Southern Poverty Law Center over the state's requirement that
people take their driver's license test in English. It's just common sense. The
thinking is, if English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for
Alabama.
Don Rumsfeld returned from three days in
Iraq last Monday, saying this is the time to be positive about the country's
future. He's so right. With enough foreign aid, reconstruction dollars and
missionary work, the place could be a real hellhole.
Defense Secretary Don Rumsfeld announced
that seven thousand troops will be leaving Iraq next month. This can only mean
one thing. President Bush made a holiday bet with his brother that he can
conquer Syria with seven thousand troops.
Saddam
Hussein's trial judge insisted Thursday there's no evidence that Saddam was
beaten and tortured while in custody. He added that the co-defendants weren't
abused either. It fell to the judge to say it because nobody believes Condi
anymore. 
Christmas Day had the heaviest telephone
traffic in holiday history. There were a hundred million long-distance calls.
President Bush could face impeachment after Congress sees the overtime bill for
this much eavesdropping.
Senator Barbara Boxer
asked constitutional scholars if President Bush committed an impeachable act by
wiretapping Americans without a court order. The president denies committing any
impeachable acts. He's a dictator, not an adulterer.
The Weather Channel covered the
one-year anniversary of the tidal wave which hit Asia. The changes to the planet
are measurable. The aftershocks not only caused the earth to wobble on its axis
but Iran is twice the size it was a year ago.
The White House said Puerto Ricans will vote this year
on remaining a U.S. territory. Right now they get U.S. military protection and
U.S. rights, but they do not have to pay U.S. income taxes. Arthur Andersen is
the father of their country.
Air India's flight
from Los Angeles to New Delhi was delayed forty-six hours last Monday. The
passengers were locked in the plane like prisoners. Americans were on hold for
two days waiting for them to get back to their customer service
cubicles.
HERE'S SOMETHIN' REALLY, REALLY, IMPORTANT!
U.S. Congressman Colin Peterson formed an
all-congressional rock and country band called The Second Amendments that is
touring U.S. bases in Iraq. The group consists of five U.S. congressmen.
Together they sound like Hootie and the
Blowhards.
The Patriot Act was resuscitated for
five weeks by Congress after the Senate killed it and then revived it for six
months. It's alive then it's dead, then it's alive and then it's dead. No one
can wait to see the sequel, Bride of Patriot Act. 
WARNING!
PG-34!
A beautiful young New York woman was so
depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor
stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I'm off to
Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring
you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with
the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That
night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on,
every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with
one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to
Europe. Plus he's fucking me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain.
"This is the Staten Island Ferry." 
OSCAR-WINNER CHARLIZE THERON
Peter met Sharon
in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's company very much and at the end of
the evening Sharon invited Peter to her place, where they quickly got involved
in a very passionate and energetic session in bed together. Finally, tired and
satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to each other.
After a short while, Sharon began tenderly stroking Peter's manhood. Surprised
but appreciative, Peter comments, "Surely you can't be ready for more already?"
Sharon replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic, and I
miss the days when I had mine." 
SINGER MACY GRAY BARES HER SOUL, ETC., ETC.
A LIVING WILL
A man and his wife were
sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never
want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids
from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got
up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer. 
NO SHIRT.
NO SHOES.
NO PROBLEM...
FOR THE LADIES: AGELESS HUNKSTER PAUL NEWMAN
Good fortune.
COMMENT!! Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed - Ol' Sleepy Head...
