MINISTER OF RANTS

HOW MANY OPUS DEI MEMBERS ON THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES?!

NOW THERE ARE THREE! (Probably. Opus dei is a secret society, y' know...)

The Senate's lone independent, Sen. Jim Jeffords of Vermont warned, "The addition of Judge Alito would unacceptably shift the balance of the court on many critical issues facing our country."

There was also a small fissure in the otherwise-monolithic Republican line-up behind Alito.  Rhode Island Sen. Lincoln Chafee became the only GOP solon to come out against the nomination.  In a statement published on his web site, Mr. Chafee said he was "concerned about (Alito's) philosophy on some important constitutional issues", including "Executive Power, women's reproductive freedoms and the commerce clause..."

Just before mid-day, four chickenshit Democrats joined the majority to approve the selection of Samuel Alito to replace the legendary independent-thinking Goldwater conservative Sandra Day O'Connor who is retiring.

(Photo) DAPPER & DOUR!
Bob Novak lost ALL respect for the CIA when Robert Hamilton was busted... which led to his taking perverse glee in outing Valerie Plame!

ANOTHER SEAT TO OPUS DEI ...
In an 11-th hour effort to stir up civil libertarians of all kinds, American Atheists e-mailed the following:

...As the nomination vote looms... new charges have surfaced regarding possible ties between Alito and the secretive Roman Catholic
group known as Opus Dei.
 
Writing in today's issue of the web-based "Counterpunch", journalist Michael Carmichael reports, "A Senate staffer confirmed that the (Senate) Judiciary Committee received numerous 'notes and letters' stating that Judge Samuel Alito is a member of Opus Dei.' "
 
While most Americans know of the group through the fictional book "The Da Vinci Code," the organization does in fact exist as an independent
"prelature" within the Roman Catholic Church answerable directly to the pope, and wields considerable power within the Vatican and in
international affairs. It was formed in 1928 by Spanish Catholic priest Josemaria Escriva, and received official protection and support
from dictator Generalissimo Francisco Franco.
 
The group maintains offices and missions throughout the world, including a lavish American headquarters in Manhattan. Senators Rick
Santorum and Sam Brownback are known to be associated with Opus Dei, and there are reports that Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas maintain lay membership in the group as well. (And don't forget turncoat CIA agent Robert Hamilton, member, Opus Dei - along with other private "gentlemen's clubs... also Bob Novak, Prince of Darkness, gumpy old Opus Dei member).
 
"The identities of lay members are not matters of public record, making it appear to be a secret organization," says Carmichael. This, and the strident, orthodox teachings of the group including opposition to abortion, robust civil liberties and the separation of church and state leave "a question mark over those markedly conservative Catholics with political prominence."
 
The allegations of ties between Alito and the Opus Dei movement likely come too late for a thorough probe by the Senate Judiciary Committee, the final vetting stop prior to a full up-or-down vote.
 
Democrats with an eye on the 2006 and 2008 elections may not wish to even investigate these sorts of charges, fearing the taint that questions about the organization may reflect "hostility" to Catholicism and religion in general. Party leaders continue to explore ways of courting religious groups for leverage at the ballot box. Indeed, Democrats in Georgia and Alabama have even taken up the call to promote "Bible study" classes in public schools based on materials from the ecumenical Bible Literacy Project.
 
...Alito's impact on the ideological complexion of the high court could prove to be devastating for a range of civil liberties, and a boon for government support and "accommodation" of religious groups and practices...

SO - IS IT
"HILLARY IN '08"? -
OR IS THERE AN UN-HILLARY TO BE NOMINATED LATER?

It's WAY too soon to know who will enter the fray to gain the Dem nomination in 2008. Yes, Hillary is best known. BUT the Rethuglickers are just a little TOO anxious to run against Hillary. Y' know, I seem to recall the Dems forming the same misconception about a potential matchup against Reagan back before the '80 election.

 

I think there may be such a groundswell for change that the Dem nomination is going to be WORTH SUM'PIN' this time. There are several Democrats I'll be watching (in addition to HRC) for 2008:

 

Centrists:
Mark Warner - a Southern governor
Wes Clark - a military hero AND an economist
Bill Richards - Western governor with foreign policy credentials

 

Liberals:
Russ Feingold - passionate reformer
Barack Obama - he's almost perfect
John Edwards - an attractive, seasoned populist

 

John McCain appears to me to be the only Rethug who might be able to overcome all the negatives of 8-years of BUSHCO - but I can't help but think the electorate will see through his veneer of respectability and past his populist posturing.

McCain, for all we see of him on TV several times each week, is largely unknown. His positions on many issues that count with Democratic and Independent middle-class Americans are as harshly reactionary as Dick Cheney's.

IN THE SOLID, ENLIGHTENED, GENTEEL DAYTON BEDROOM COMMUNITY OF OAKWOOD - BAMBI'd BETTER NOT GET CAUGHT IN THEIR HEADLIGHTS!

Deer, for all the romantic notions some of us may attach to them (thanks to their big beautiful eyes) can be very destructive to foliage and construction in residential areas. There is a point where a property owner must take action to rid the premises of destructive varmints, whether they're raccoons on the porch, rats in the basement, pigeons or squirrels in the attic, or bats in the belfry.

 

While it is regretful that wildlife habitat has been sacrificed to urban and suburban sprawl, it doesn't follow that residents must accommodate invasive species that may threaten property, health or safety.   I reckon Oakwood residents can claim "squatters' rights" surely by now. The area was platted over a hundred years ago, I'd guess. At one time, I think there were some large farms where Oakwoodians live today in that bastion of urbane civility and civic awareness.
I
n Ohio, the deer herd is a state-managed resource. The logical response to numerous deer roaming beyond available appropriate habitat is to adjust the number of deer that may be taken by licensed hunters during hunting season, or extension of the season. Management has failed to keep the white tailed herd from invading the aforementioned Oakwood, just south of Dayton.

I agree with the decision of officials in Oakwood to permit some property owners to shoot nuisance deer. I hope there is sufficient oversight to ensure the safety of everyone in the community while this temporary program is in effect. And I hope no placard-waving, bleating PETA demonstrators are taken down in the process.

(I considered joining PETA once - 'cuz I misunderstood their purpose. I thought their acronym stood for "PEOPLE EATING TASTY ANIMALS"!)

 

Please permit me to insist that humans are the only animals that even stop to consider the plight of other animals. Most animals are territorial, it would appear, as are we. It's apparent that humans are predators. Unlike nature's other predators, humans have formed entire institutions and converted countless reams of wood pulp to try to assess and manage our predatory nature for the good of all animals, human or not.

Obviously, hunting awakens primal feelings in some folks more than others. Other folks may indulge primitive urges that don't involve killing animals. In the longer, broader libertarian view that I always try maintain, one is no better or worse than the other.

I can't cite the chapter & verse, but I believe I recall someone in the Bible saying, "If the Lord had not wanted us to eat animals - he wouldn't have made them out of MEAT!" (It's somewhere in Deuteronomy, if that matters to you...)

 

If hunting animals for sport and meat offends your sensibilities, you should probably stop to consider becoming a vegan. Whether it's culling the deer herd or harvesting cattle, someone's gonna end up with blood on his or her hands to put dinner on the table.

 

Some folks have argued that hunting is an expression of some sort of unhealthy desire to KILL - a BLOODLUST! If that's your perception I find it over the top. I notice that most folks who take such a tack have little or no firsthand knowledge todraw upon to attribute such motivation to all hunters. By engaging in hyperbole and/or imprecise language - they offend MY sense of harmony and precision in language.

Maybe there is something hardwired into our genes that stimulates a pleasurable response to bringin' down a deer or a pheasant. You know it may be part of the package of codes that triggers most of our reactions when we go into a defensive mode.

 

Again, I hate to continue beating a dead hoofed ruminant mammal, but I think referring to enthusiasm for hunting as "bloodlust" is akin to callin' sex dirty.

 

One more assertion from me: Deer would probably be extinct in Ohio if not for good stewardship on the part of the state's wildlife mangement.

(By the way - there's a family of coyotes who moved into Kettering, Ohio about 6-7 years ago. They set up den-keeping right behind the Meijer's Supermarket on Stroop Road.)


One Sweet Ride - Streetworthy Rod...
 

Good fortune. COMMENT!! Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed...

DON'T MISS THE WOLFE TONES - SPRING TOUR!!

Looking for P.O.E.T.S.?
Do the scroll down to the next post...

THE WOLFE TONES will be singin' the great REBEL ANTHEMS and traditional Irish songs! They promise an historical multimedia presentation, too!

Columbus, Ohio.
Sat. Feb. 25th.  
 

 

Tickets & Info: 1-614-462-6716
OR  1-614-235-7600

We look forward to meeting all our friends! 
We'll have a great night. Great Fun.
Book now! Always a sell out!

THE WOLFE TONES OFFICIAL WEBSITE 



SECOND CHANCE:

Sunday Feb. 26th
@ Finnigans Wake, Pittsburgh, PA.

GREAT TO BE BACK IN PITTSBURGH
TO SEE ALL OUR OLD FRIENDS!

Tickets & info: 267 981 4975

Calling all fans of the "Stillers" & "Pahrts": 
Yinz better get your tickets now !

We hope to see ya there!

Rev. Art   

P.O.E.T.S. - 012906

P.O.E.T.S.!
PISS ON EVER'THIN' -
T'DAY'S SUNDAY, January 29, 2ôô6

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DA REV'S STAND UP BEGINS JUST PAST YOUR HOMELAND SECURITY WARNING …uh... UPDATE.

QUOTE / UNQUOTE
“Inviting Tim Russert to keynote a conference on journalistic ethics is like having Jack Abramoff keynote a conference on lobbying reform.”
[Arianna Huffington, Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown]
THE MINISTER OF RANTS PRESENTS:
A HISTORY OF "RANTS"
(With apologies to the clever blogmeister @ Dark Bilious Vapors -
Da Rev has appropriated these gems to his own use):

1) The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention "rants".

2) The International Space Station weighs about 500 tons and is the same size as the Da Rev's archive of "Rants".

3) Thomas Jefferson was granted a patent for innovations on the original design of "rants".

4) "Rants" were first grown in America by the great-great grandmother of our greatest Poetess Emily Dickinson who always referred to her poems as "rants" or, occasionally, her "children".

5) "Rants" were discovered by Alexander the Great in India, and introduced to Europe on his return.

6) Michelangelo finished his great statue of "Rance" in 1504, after eighteen months work.

7) Howdy Doody's middle name is "Rance"!

The new Homeland Security Bill has passed. Internet surfing will be tracked by what the FBI calls a "non-intrusive method." The FBI ASSURES you will not notice anything different...
MORE INFO: HOMELAND SECURITY

CHICKEN HEAD

Well howdy, Rev’lers!!

The proceeds from t’day’s STAND UP have been earmarked for “Americans For Kid-Free Drug Zones”! Thank you for your SUPPORT!
Oh, my! I see James Dobson has joined us today – along with his entourage.
We don’t have to protect the environment, the ***SECOND COMING is at HAND***! Right, Jimmy?!  ...>guffaw<...
I have an important announcement for Dr. Dobson and all the other fundies – GET TH’ F@%$! OUTTA THE GENETIC POOL! NOW!

Cheeses! RELATIVES!!
                                    
Ah, Eartha Kitt – sultry songstress - the original CAT WOMAN (((BRRROW!!))) - (she turned 79 just a few days ago) - is here with us today. Happy Birthday, Darling. I know you’re still performing regularly. Are you still SEXUALLY ACTIVE? Did you BRING th' REINFORCEMENTS?

YESSS! I see feminist writer Germaine Greer WAVING to me from the other side of the room. Germaine's 67 this weekend - and I see she still doesn't shave her pits!

Are we in the perfect mood?

I'd like t' open a tab for the troops!

Every shot o’ Jameson’s I drink is like POISON in OSAMA’S EYES! And before I go home tonight, we’re BOTH going to be HOWLIN’ BLIND!

Consider this, Rev’lers - if you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

While you're chewing on the bacon-wrapped chicken livers, think of STEVEN SPIELBERG'S bank account. This will have the same effect as taking two of those new “FAT BLOCKER” PILLS – but without leaving DISCONCERTING SKIDMARKS in your underpants! 

Sweet SERENA - d' ya need any MOUTH-TO-MOUTH resuscitation? Well, I could use some!

Dick came all the way from Florida to give his report on th' DEATH of DISCO!!

WOW! What’s happening to the American car industry? Da Pagan Baby and I drive a Detroit product. We’ve driven it everywhere. OVER the underpass! UNDER the overpass! Around the FUTURE and BEYOND REPAIR!!

Our daughter-in-law is a cop – but she has a terrific sense of humor. She cracks up all her traffic stops with this one: “In God we trust, all others we run through the Ohio B.C.I..”

My friend Mike got a job making ashtrays in Dayton.

Civilization is fun! Anyway, it keeps me busy!!

I keep telling myself that In a hostage situation I’m likely to be released first.

I’ll FUCK the guinea pig – but I won’t BE THE FUCKIN’ GUINEA PIG!! (But I digress…)

Finally – I think my supply of brain cells are down to manageable size.

Kris - The answer to this question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

I was tossin’ back a few the other night at Cadillac Jack’s here in Metro Fairborn when a regular came in and he had the shakes real bad. I knew he was broke, so I bought him a double well-whiskey. Once he started to even out, he looked up and said, “Rev, you’ve been facilitatin’ my addiction.”
He then pulled out a cap gun and unloaded it at me. I kinda freaked out for a minute, then I became pissed off that I didn’t think of it first. So now when I’m drinkin' in bars I keep a loaded cap gun!

I was rentin’ a stool at the new Walnut Hills in the University of Dayton ghetto the other day, when the guy next to me suddenly raised his head and bellowed: “Look at all these damn yuppies in here, drinkin’ up all the top shelf hooch, then slappin’ it on their gold cards. Make’s ya wanna become a F@%#ING COMMIE, don’t it?”

One more thing before I leave the stage: Who’s gonna call me t’morra and tell me how I got home?

Da Rev overheard this from LETTERMAN the other night:

America’s most trusted man - Walter Cronkite who is 89 - will get married this weekend. Cronkite is looking forward to the wedding night because it’s been a long time since he was able to say:

“THIS JUST ___ IN ! !”

Comedian Argus Hamilton supplies these liners concerning the events of the past week (except where noted):

President Bush will give his State of the Union speech Tuesday night. He's got his applause lines all ready. There won't be a dry eye in the house when he declares that we are a nation of the peephole, by the peephole and for the peephole.

The White House issued a report saying President Bush may wiretap Americans because Congress said he could use force in Afghanistan.

This was not DUBYA'S finest hour. Bill Clinton looked better pointing out the oral sex loophole in Deuteronomy.

LENO: The Bush administration is asking Google to turn over all its records in a porn investigation. They want to know who has been using Google to look up porn. So you know what that means - we are all going to jail!

Samuel Alito's nomination was sent to the Senate Tuesday in a straight party line vote by the Judiciary Committee. He advocates the unitary executive theory of government. It's the loftiest possible way of saying Mussolini was misunderstood. 

Palestinians voted in a U.S.-backed national election Wednesday and they voted terror group Hamas into power. The same day, Iranian-backed Shiites claimed victory in Iraq. This is the last time Israel will take the word of a president who talks to God.

Mexico's government has printed a map of routes to help illegal aliens get to Arizona. The map marks trails and beacons and water
tanks. These workers are
desperately needed in the United States, otherwise we'll never get that wall built!

The Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) unveiled its Registered Traveler program, which allows you to keep your shoes on if you turn over your complete financial records to the government. The bastards! If you travel a lot and don't sign up for the program, it's an audit flag. 

HERE’S SOMETHIN’ REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT!

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LENO: So it’s the Steelers and the Seahawks in the Super Bowl. So you’ve got Pittsburgh, the city known for Rocky Blier, Franko Harris, Terry Bradshaw, Mean Joe Green. And Seattle, the city where Bill Gates is from.

The Pittsburgh Steelers play the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl at Ford Stadium in Detroit. Everyone is urged to bring a change of clothes to the game. At halftime, William Ford could turn off the lights and move the stadium to Mexico.

The Pittsburgh Steelers play the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl in Ford Stadium in Detroit. Security will be tight. Ticket holders have been warned that the moment Bill Ford enters the stadium they should sit up straight and look profitable.

Y' know Detroit has a huge Arab population. Advertisers say that millions of Americans will be listening in, about half of them to the game.

NBC's West Wing was canceled by the network after seven years on the prime time schedule. Martin Sheen (fka Ramon Estevez of Dayton) knew in advance but was able to remain tight-lipped about it. He's the only member of the Sheen family who can breathe through his nose.
President Bush told a student questioner at a Kansas town hall he has not seen BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN . You can bet he's heard about it. It's been three months since he invited a foreign leader to spend the weekend with him at the ranch.

CONAN: The movie "Son of Man” is making news. It’s a story of a black Jesus. Conservative Christian groups in the south are upset saying - it was bad enough he was Jewish, now this!!

THE INEFFICACY OF PRAYER


WARNING: PG-34

A guy is stranded on a desert isle, alone for 10 years. One day, he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks, it's not a ship. The speck gets a little closer, and he thinks, it's not a boat. The speck gets even closer and he thinks, it's not a raft. Then, out of the surf comes a gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wetsuit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years!" he says. She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, and says, "Man, oh, man! Is that good?"
Then she asks, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?”
He replies, "Ten years!"
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask, and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"
She starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down to the front of her wet suit, and she says to him, "How long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"
The man replies, "HOLY CRAP! Don't tell me that you've got a pool table in there!"

WHAT TH_?! WHAT ARE THESE - GOLF TEES?!?
Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers, when she passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers, on their way to classes. As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good morning ladies."
The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be with you."
But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the other, "I think she got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning."
This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the issue. A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of the Sisters who had been teaching at the convent for several years. She greeted them with, "Good morning Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may God give you wisdom for our students today."
"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you, and may God be with you."
But again, after passing, Mother Superior overheard, "She got out of the wrong side of bed today."
Baffled, she started to wonder if she had spoken harshly, or with an irritated look on her face. She vowed to be more pleasant. Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired Sister Mary approaching, step by step, with her walker. As Sister Mary was rather deaf, Mother Superior had plenty of time to arrange a pleasant smile on her face, before greeting Sister Mary. "Good morning, Sister Mary. I'm so happy to see you up and about. I pray God watches over you today, and grants you a wonderful day."
"Ah, Good morning, Mother Superior, and thank you. I see you got up on the wrong side of bed this morning."
Mother Superior was floored! "Sister Mary, what have I done wrong? I have tried to be pleasant, but three times already today, people have said that about me." Sister Mary stopped her walker, and looked Mother Superior in the face. "Oh, don't take it personal, Mother Superior. It's just that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers."
OSCAR-WINNING ACTRESS - THE DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS KIM BASINGER...

A blonde's car breaks down on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench coats who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers...
Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway occurs. It's not very long before a police car shows up. A highway patrol cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde in the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the hell is going on here?!"
"My car broke down," says the lady, calmly.
"Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?!" asks the cop...

(Get Ready...)



(Remember, she's a blonde...)

"Those are my emergency flashers!" she replied.

Good fortune. COMMENT!! Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed...

WHEN THE U.S. INSISTS ON DEMOCRATIC ELECTIONS - THEY CAN'T BITCH ABOUT WHO GETS ELECTED...

The Face of Hamas...

From: DEBKAfile
Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas asks radical Hamas terrorists to form a new government after its apparent shock victory at the polls...
January 26, 2006

The defeated Fatah was slapped down in maneuvers for participation in a Hamas-led coalition. Fatah PM and his cabinet quit when early results gave Hamas a sweeping 70-75 seats in the 132-seat Palestinian legislature. The first Hamas statement: Negotiating with Israel and recognition are not on our agenda. The armed struggle will continue.

Hamas control of Palestinian government is a regional earthquake that will bring the Muslim Brotherhood into power by the ballot for the first time in Middle East history. President George W. Bush says he will not deal with Hamas unless the organization renounces its commitment to fight for Israel’s destruction. In Gaza, in answer to a question on policy, Hamas operative Mohammed Rantisi, whipped out the late Yasser Arafat’s motto:

We shall hold talks as though there is no terror and wage terror as though there are no talks. Other leaders reject negotiations, recognition of Israel or laying down arms.

In view of this election upset, some Palestinian sources predict a long wait for final results amid attempts at manipulation, which the Hamas will fight tooth and nail. The Palestinian election sets back critically the underlying objective of the US-led global war on terror: denying terrorists territorial strike bases and keeping them on the run - as manifested in the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

For Israel, allowing the Hamas terrorists to take part in the Palestinian election - after its takeover of the Gaza Strip – was a fatal blunder. It is now condemned to dealing with the Damascus-based Khaled Mashal and Mahmoud a-Zahar in Gaza, now holding the whip hand in Ramallah. Behind them lurk sponsors and mentors such as Mahdi Aqaf, leader of the radical Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood, Hamas’s parent body, and Sheikh Qardawi, the Qatar-based television preacher. While speaking out against suicide bombers for Western targets, this influential radical ardently advocates Muslim martyrdom for the sacred purpose of killing Israelis.

The peace strategy acting Israeli prime minister Ehud Olmert outlined in his policy address the day before the Palestinian election is passé; it was built around negotiations with Abu Mazen and a Fatah regime in Ramallah. He failed to consider the possibility of having to face up to a Palestinian negotiating partner that takes its orders from Cairo, Qatar, Damascus and Tehran.

 Soccer Dad blog:

...Even if one argues with naive hopefullness (as I heard last night on the news) that Hamas ran its campaign by emphasizing good governance how do you explain Fatah's popularity running a convicted terrorist at the top of its list? The problem isn't Fatah or Hamas, the problem is the people who elected them. The Palestinians have overwhelmingly voted for terrorist groups. There is no getting around that.

By focusing on Hamas, it gives reporters an opportunity to sidestep what Fatah represents. But that just means that there's a big problem with the premises of the peace process. Is there really a critical mass of support for peace with Israel? Or has the introduction of Yasser Arafat and the PLO to Gaza and Ramallah radicalized the Palestinian population to a degree that peace is now impossible as things stand?

In other words perhaps the debate shouldn't be about how to treat a Palestinian government that includes Hamas but how to treat any Palestinian government.

If the ascendancy of Hamas forces the world to take another look at the Palesitnians and demand finally that their aid money, independence and statehood is dependent on their abandoning terror and dreams of destroying Israel perhaps some good will come of this. Unfortunately there's a real chance that, instead, the world will choose to sanitize Hamas, just as it did the PLO, and force Israel to deal with those who still wish that it did not exist...

This is one more reason to do whatever it takes to destroy any attempt to develop nukes in Iran! The US position must be that all aid from this country and the countries of the European Union be cut off until the Palestinian leadership recognizes Israel's right to exist and agrees to engage in an honest peace process. 

Hayam blog:

It was a mistake to permit Hamas to compete in elections. Like al-Qaeda, Hamas should be destroyed, not legitimated, much less courted.  [Shtender]

THE DEMOCRATS NEED CINDY SHEEHAN LIKE THEY NEED ANOTHER TAPE FROM OSAMA!

This woman has a right to speak about anything she thinks - but Democrats need to distance themselves from her. She's poison - stupid poison.

It wasn't bad enough that she has shot from the lip and blamed all our imperialist blowback in the Middle East on Israel. And she's called the Irish "war criminals" for allowing US military aircraft to land for refueling at Shannon Int'l. Airport. Now she's spewing from her pie-hole about the only bright spot in the history of the Democratic Party (and the country) in the past 15 years - one of the best presidents of the 20th Century - BILL CLINTON!

CHEESES! With a self-absorbed dingbat such as Cindy being linked by the media and in the minds of the uninformed masses with the Democratic Party, we might do well to win in New York and Massachusetts. Here's her rant (from an interview with some Irish dude) - cited in Wonkette:   

"And about Bill Clinton . . . . You know, I really think he should have been impeached, but not for a blow job. His policies are responsible for killing more Iraqis that George Bush. I don't understand why to rise to the level of being president of my country one has to be a monster. I used to say that George Bush was defiling the Oval Office, but it's been held by a long line of monsters."

Cindy, O Cindy! Just STFU!

WHO WAS THAT LADY I SAW YOU WITH?
(That was no lady - that was DADDY!")
From The Fix @ Salon: 

Michael Jackson has been spotted in public again at a shopping mall in Bahrain, this time sporting dress usually worn only by women: a veil, a black robe called an abaya and gloves.

Ezra Klein has this:

Welcome to the “new” economy. It’s new because you’re not in it.

Our sponsors are cooler than their sponsors - a couple of newbies:

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THE PHILOSOPHY GIFT SHOP
T-Shirts, Posters, Art Clothing, much more... Philosophy, Science, Erotica, Humor.

WIRETAPS WITHOUT WARRANTS! SHOW YOUR OUTRAGE!

Finally! The Gummint is Listening to the People!  THE NSA HASN'T TAPPED OUR T-SHIRTS YET!

Oh, Baby! We draw a crowd every time we take this 1958 Plymouth Sport Fury outta the garage... the gold swoosh really DOES make it go faster!

 
Good fortune. COMMENT! Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed...

 

 

THE DIARRHEA PILL - AVAILABLE OVER THE COUNTER...

LUST OR GLUTTONY?!

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MONEY QUOTE

Don't this'n make ya go Hmmm... 

"Time is a continual over-dropping of moments, which fall down one upon the other and evaporate." 
[Jean Paul Richter (1763-1825) German Novelist, Writer, Aesthetician]

 

"We may prefer to think of ourselves as fallen angels, but in reality we are risen apes." [ Desmond Morris, zoologist]

HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT THROUGH ANAL LEAKAGE
The Diarrhea Pill - By William Saletan Slate
Jan. 24, 2006

An FDA panel voted to allow over-the-counter sales of a fat-blocking pill.

Good news: The drug, orlistat (marketed as Alli), stops your intestines from absorbing one-fourth of the fat you eat. Bad news: 1) To lose weight, you still have to eat less and exercise. 2) If you stop taking the pill, the weight comes back. 3) The pill also blocks absorption of fat-soluble vitamins. 4) Guess what your intestines do with the fat they're no longer absorbing? "Fecal incontinence, gas and oily discharge that spotted the undergarments of trial participants."

FDA panel chairman's question to executives: "Have you considered placing a warning on the box, 'Don't take this product while wearing your new La Perla underwear?'"

Rebuttal: You'll lose even more weight, because the prospect of "anal leakage" will kill your interest in ice cream.

I predict this pill will be met with the underwhelming enthusiasm accompanied P & G's introduction of Pringles chips made with faux-fat Olestra a few years back. They're no longer available.

It occurred to me that if they could find a way to promote these products to fat asses in conjunction with special price reductions on DEPENDS adult diapers they might make a "going product" of this...

YOUR OWN PERSONAL JESUS
If the bigot I encountered the other day lives long enough he'll be part of a dwindling, aging white sub-category in an America full of TAN people. The bigot was outraged that someone had depicted Jesus in a work of art or literature with dark skin. (Yup - he even wondered, "Doesn't the Bible say he was white?") Then he asked, "What's next - Santa Claus?"

It's telling in some way that this buffoon, debilitated by ethno-centric racism as he may be, is tryin' to stir up controversy concerning what is clearly an illustrator's prerogative - the representation of skin pigment and/or racial characteristics in a depiction of mythical characters that are embraced by children and illogical people in many lands across the planet - Santa Claus and Jesus!

I'd like to live long enough to see Santa AND Jesus categorized with the cartoon folks and muppets... thank you.

POLLS:
McCAIN BEATS HILLARY & OTHER UNNAMED DEMS IN 2008

Well, I'm not slittin' my wrists in despondency over the prospect of Senator John McCain being the Rethuglicker nominee in '08. While I recognize he's an attractive, marketable candidate who could pull across party lines and suck up Independants - I don't think McCain can get the nomination from the party whose base is controlled by the likes of James Dobson.  Here's  a case making my point from John Hawkins @ Right Wing News:

Right-Of-Center Bloggers Select The Most & Least Desired 2008 Republican Nominee (2006 Edition)

Right Wing News emailed more than 230 right-of-center bloggers and asked them to send us a ranked list 1-5 of the candidates that they would most like to take the Republican nomination for President in 2008 and the 1-5 candidates they'd least like to see as the Republican nominee in 2008. Representatives from ... 58 blogs responded...

Most Desired Nominee For 2008

15) George Pataki (5.5)
15) Mike Huckabee (5.5)
15) Sam Brownback (5.5)
14) Bill Frist (6.0)
13) Bob Ehrlich (7.5)
11) Tim Pawlenty (10.5)
11) Haley Barbour (10.5)
10) John McCain (13.0)
9) Mark Sanford (13.5)
8) Jeb Bush (19.0)
7) Tom Tancredo (19.5)
6) Mitt Romney (24.5)
5) Dick Cheney (26.0)
4) Newt Gingrich (32.0)
3) George Allen (42.0)
2) Rudy Giuliani (58.0)
1) Condoleeza Rice (65.5)

Least Desired Nominee For 2008

14) Rick Santorum (6.5)
12) Tom Tancredo (7.5)
12) Tom DeLay (7.5)
11) Condoleeza Rice (8.5)
10) Tom Ridge (15.0)
9) Newt Gingrich (15.5)
8) Mitt Romney (16.5)
7) Rudy Giuliani (17.0)
6) Dick Cheney (20.5)
5) Jeb Bush (22.0)
4) George Pataki (33.0)
3) Bill Frist (43.5)
2) Chuck Hagel (55.5)
1) John McCain (74.5)

While several names show up on both lists - McCain makes only the "least" favored category - @ #1!

 

Tim Wu @ Slate analyzes the Google records controversy ...   

KEEPING SECRETS

A simple prescription for keeping Google's records out of government hands. 

Google is being commended by many for standing up to the Bush administration. But however brave Google's current stance may be, the legal debate over Google's compliance misses the deeper and more urgent point: By keeping every search ever made on file, the search-engine companies are helping create the problem in the first place. In the wake of what we're seeing with this subpoena controversy, the industry must change the way it preserves and records our search results and must publicly pledge not to keep any identifying information unless required by court order. This has nothing to do with our mistrust of Google and everything to do with mistrust of the range of government actors—domestic and foreign—that Google must ultimately obey.

People have a place to find basic anonymous information on things like sexually transmitted diseases, depression, or drug addiction. The ability to look in secret for another job is not merely liberating, it's economically efficient. But all this depends on our feeling free to search without being watched. ... living —as if everything you do will be publicly aired one day—is wretched, and the exact opposite of what it means to be living in a free society.

 the public's demand must be of Google—not the state. It should be that Google please stop keeping quite so much information attached to our IP addresses; please modify logging practices so that all identifying information is stripped. And please run history's greatest "search and delete," right now, and take out the IP addresses from every file that contains everyone's last five years of searches...MORE... Slate

This is the first time the feds have asked for data on EVERYBODY- NOT JUST SUSPECTS!


We were watchin' the 19-incher out in the Last Chance Garage and it wasn't a pretty picture...


 


Good fortune. COMMENT!! Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed...

P.O.E.T.S. - 012106

P.O.E.T.S.!
PISS ON EVER'THIN' -
T'DAY'S SATURDAY, January 21, 2ôô6

(Click on any image to ENLARGE IT.)

T'day's the birthday of the iconic blues singer, songwriter, 12-string guitar player and ragtime pianist Huddie "Lead Belly" Ledbetter, born in Mooringsport, Louisiana, 1888.

MISS DOLLY turned 60 this week. Da Rev'd sure like t' get 'er ag'in - ag'in the haystack, ag'in' the floor, ag'in' the wall...

Da Rev's STAND-UP follows the QUOTES & UNSUBSCRIBED...

QUOTE / UNQUOTE

 

"Language is the mother, not the handmaiden of thought; words will tell you things you never thought or felt before."

[W. H. (Wystan Hugh) Auden (1907-1973) Anglo-American Poet]

"Maybe it's other people's reactions to us that makes us who we are." 
[Fox Mulder (1997), Character, The X-Files]

"I go places and do things and THEN tell my wife" 
[Oliver Hardy, Great American Comic Actor]

 

UNSUBSCRIBED: SHELLEY WINTERS (fka, Shirley Schrift)

(AP) Shelley Winters, the forceful, outspoken star who graduated from blond bombshell parts to dramas, winning Academy Awards as supporting actress in "The Diary of Anne Frank" and "A Patch of Blue," has died. She was 85.

"I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience."
[Shelley Winters]

UNSUBSCRIBED: WILSON ("The Wicked") PICKETT

Wilson Pickett, the soul pioneer best known for the fiery hits "Mustang Sally" and "In The Midnight Hour," died of a heart attack Thursday in a Reston, Virginia, hospital. He was 64. Songs:  "Land of a Thousand Dances",  "99 & a Half", "Funky Broadway", "You're So Fine" with The Falcons, and more...
 

WELL HOWDY, REV'LERS!
“Anybody not using their tab?”

First, I would like to say how much I appreciate your generosity after last week's STAND-UP. We raised scads of money for  the Veterans of Grenada, Panama, and Haiti Wars Self-Esteem Center.

Today Da Rev is appearing on behalf of one of his favorite non-profit organizations: The Bob Jones University Soulfood Appreciation Project.

I was runnin' late today, so I parked in the church parking lot across the street. I guess I should be worried. Apparently they're havin' problems with outsiders parking in their parking lots so they put up a sign:

CHURCH PARKING - FOR MEMBERS ONLY.
TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED!

I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

Oh - hi there, Russ! Last night I dreamt you bought me a keg o' Guinness. I’m sure it was you. Actually, it was more of a vision than a dream. A prophesy, really. Are you a religious man, sir?”

 

YUP! Stillers is spoken here! And Pahrts! One game at a time, Ben. One game at a time... WHAT? YINZ DIDN'T RECOGNIZE STILLERS QUARTERBACK, BEN ROETHLISBERGER?!?

We're gonna need more shrimp. OH, REMEMBER: Beer has food value but food has no beer value...

My daddy drank, grand-daddy drank, my goddamn great grand-daddy drank, and I'll be goddamned if I'm going to drop the ball now.

Bass Ale, y' say? The only time I've ever drunk Bass was when they were changin' the Guinness keg.

Why do I always start with a double shot o' Jameson's? I don’t want to drink too much beer on an empty stomach. I pour the Guinness slowly down th' side o' th' glass - then I knock back a couple Jameson's while it’s settling.

 

I was born naked, wet and hungry, and got slapped on my ass. Then things got worse.

 

Hey! I applied for a grant from The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. They wrote back and said I obviously have no idea what they're about. OK, I guess I don't. Then the letter turned very snotty and threatened to report me to the IRS. Does anybody know what these fuckers will give you money for?

 

(...Don't worry, Honey. It only seems kinky the first time...)

I must be OFF! Until next time - always remember that you're unique - just like everyone else.

THIS JUST _____ IN ! !

 

NEW MARTIN LUTHER KING CONTROVERSY!!
New Book Claims He Was French!

ATLANTA (Bongo News) — As the Nation celebrated what would have been Martin Luther King’s 77th birthday, a new controversy surrounding the charismatic civil rights leader surfaced. In a startling claim which hits at the very heart of the King legacy, it is now claimed that Martin Luther King was, in fact, French.

Historian Taylor Branch's book At Canaan's Edge, released last week, chronicles the life and times of the civil rights activist, including his propensity for ‘extra garlic’ and ‘wine with everything.’ Branch claims King was born and raised in the Loire valley moving to the U.S. early in 1951. “He couldn’t speak a word of English when he arrived, bathed infrequently and wore a beret all the time,” claims Branch.

Comedian Argus Hamilton
presents these liners runnin' down the events of the past week:

 

Senator Chuck Schumer introduced a bill to clamp down on data companies that will sell your cell phone calling records online. Talk about embarrassing. These records say who you called, how long you talked, and which NSA official has the tape.

Senator Arlen Specter startled Republicans by saying that impeachment might be a remedy for illegal wiretapping. He was very careful. He didn't say the word impeachment on the telephone, he said it on ABC News where no one would hear him.

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said New Orleans will be a chocolate city again. He said New Orleans must be majority African-American because God wants it that way. Forget the chickens, what we've got is an outbreak of Pat Robertson flu.

New Orleans Mayor Ray (Willy Wonka) Nagin told his city that New Orleans will again be a chocolate city. The roof fell in. The mayor drew widespread condemnation as well as a letter from the mayor of Hershey, Pennsylvania, challenging him to a duel.
AHHH... NOW WE'RE GETTING AN INDICATION OF JUDGE ROBERTS' POSITION ON AN ISSUE...

Coo-Coo Cocoa Puff Ray Nagin said New Orleans will again be a chocolate city. Maybe he wants to cash in on the obesity epidemic. If chocolate can do for New Orleans what cocaine did for Miami, their budget problems will be over by Fat Tuesday.

 

Hillary Clinton said the Republicans run the House of Representatives like a plantation. This won't help her presidential bid in the South. If she goes around revealing everything she saw in Arkansas she's nothing but a Yankee spy.

Thomas Jefferson faces the front on the new nickel introduced last week. He was a man of many contradictions. He wrote the Declaration of Independence, but if he knew Americans were still talking about his sex life he would turn over on his slave.

Ohio Rethuglicker U.S. Rep. Bob Ney resigned as Chairman of the House Administration Committee over his link to tribal casino donations. The pilfering has only begun to come to light. The Bush administration even stole its immigration policy from the Indians!
U.S. Senate confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito (shown here leaning to the  right) ended after a week of testimony. It was emotional. The only thing that could match the love between Sam Alito and his wife was the love between Joe Biden and his own voice.

Senator George Allen obtained funds for a Civil War museum in Richmond. It's still painful. No matter how many people say the war is over, it's important that Union soldiers remain in Virginia until Pat Robertson is capable of self-government.

HERE'S SOMETHIN' REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT!

 

Scarlett Johanssen with her TWO Golden Globes!
The Golden Globes gave the Best Picture award to a movie about gay cowboys. Best Actor went for the role of Capote and Best Actress to a woman playing a male-to-female-transsexual. Now the only suspense is whether Oscar is going to run off to Vermont with Tony.

The Miss America Pageant will be telecast live from the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas tonight. The preliminary events are underway. The competition gets closer and closer as each contestant is awarded to a high roller by the casino host.

The Miss America Pageant will be broadcast Saturday from its new home at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas. It's not the best place for a wholesome event like Miss America. Apple-cheeked girls go in Las Vegas for five hundred dollars an apple.
The girls won't be allowed to gamble. They have to see a complete financial statement before they go back to the room with anybody.

Pamela Anderson demanded the removal of a Colonel Sanders statue in Kentucky last week. She denounced the artificial way they plump up their breasts. (Y' couldn't make it up!)

Jack Abramoffukkah said he's writing a book of Torah commentaries. He said he decided to become an Orthodox Jew at age twelve when he saw Fiddler on the Roof. However, in college he saw The Great Train Robbery and decided to become a lobbyist.

 

WARNING! PG - 34!





Yes - we knew Little Natalie Portman (shown here in "The Professional") would develop into a rare, beautiful, talented actress...

STEAMING ACTRESS LENA OLIN

A man sits at a bar ordering double shots of whiskey all night. Every time the barman serves him a drink the man pours the drink all over his hand. The bar man is confused, but after all the guy's still paying for the drink. Eventually though the bar mans curiosity gets the better of him and he asks the guy why he's wasting all the booze. The guy replies: "I have to get my date drunk!"

 

A married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband says, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"
"Yes" she replies, "he's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."
"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long." 
A man goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. "I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your breasts" he says.
"You PIG!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I fetch my husband."
The man apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to pull your pants down, spread yogurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off," he says.
"You dirty, filthy pervert. You're banned. Get out!" she storms.
Again the man apologizes and swears never ever to do it again. "One more chance" says the barmaid. "Now what do you want?"
"I want to turn you upside down, fill your cunt with Guinness, and then drink every last drop".
The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly.
"What's up, Love?" he asks. "There's a man in the bar who wants to put his head between my breasts and lick the sweat off," she says.
"I'll kill him. Where is he?" storms the husband.
"Then he said he wanted to pour yogurt down between my arse cheeks and lick it off," she screams.
"Right, he's dead," says the husband, reaching for a baseball bat.
"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my cunt with Guinness and then drink it all," she cries.
The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and switches the telly back on.
"Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically.
"Look love - I'm not messing with someone who can drink 12 pints of  Guinness...
(YIKES! NOR ME!!)                                                               
AYE, THERE'S A GOOD SOLDIER... AND ONE CRUEL LASS, EH?!

BIG BEN ROETHLISBERGER CRUISED BY TO SEE OUR DOG LILLIE THIS WEEK...

D'YA THINK SHE'S GOT A BIT O' PITT IN 'ER?

THIS KIDNAPPING OF JOURNALISTS HAS GOT TO BE STOPPED! (Uh - make that AMERICAN journalists...)

JILL CARROLL, U.S. Journalist Shown as Hostage

Kidnappers in Iraq Threaten to Kill Her TODAY!
Demanding Female Prisoners Be Freed

Nelson Hernandez and Ellen Knickmeyer of the

Washington Post Foreign Service reported Wednesday:

The captors of an American journalist kidnapped in Baghdad 10 days ago threatened to kill her in three days unless authorities freed all female prisoners in Iraq, according to an Arabic television network that aired a brief video of the woman Tuesday night.

The story of Jill Carroll's capture is more disturbing in light of claims that she was at least striving to report the truth of the occupation of Iraq - if not becoming an advocate for Iraqis who want the US to leave (most of 'em).

WE CAN ALL CERTAINLY GET BEHIND A MAJOR OUTCRY AGAINST THE IRAQIS' APPARENT IGNORANCE OF THE VALUE OF A FREELY FUNCTIONING PRESS IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS, SUCH AS WAR -

BUT WAIT - The Iraqis HAVE journalists workin' the same mean streets as Jill Carroll. Oh, hell yeah!

Truthout dot org had this from The Guardian, UK, Monday:
US Troops Seize Award-Winning Iraqi Journalist

 American troops in Baghdad yesterday blasted their way into the home of an Iraqi journalist working for the Guardian and Channel 4, firing bullets into the bedroom where he was sleeping with his wife and children. Ali Fadhil, who two months ago won the Foreign Press Association young journalist of the year award, was hooded and taken for questioning. He was released hours later. Dr Fadhil is working with Guardian Films on an investigation for Channel 4's Dispatches programme into claims that tens of millions of dollars worth of Iraqi funds held by the Americans and British have been misused or misappropriated.

The troops told Dr Fadhil that they were looking for an Iraqi insurgent and seized video tapes he had shot for the programme. These have not yet been returned. The director of the film, Callum Macrae, said yesterday: "The timing and nature of this raid is extremely disturbing. It is only a few days since we first approached the US authorities and told them Ali was doing this investigation, and asked them then to grant him an interview about our findings. We need a convincing assurance from the American authorities that this terrifying experience was not harassment and a crude attempt to discourage Ali's investigation."

Dr Fadhil was asleep with his wife, their three-year-old daughter, Sarah, and seven-month-old son, Adam, when the troops forced their way in. "They fired into the bedroom where we were sleeping, then three soldiers came in. They rolled me on to the floor and tied my hands. When I tried to ask them what they were looking for they just told me to shut up," he said.

I'M NOT CHOCOLATE!

It's not a laughing matter that there appear to be documented attempts to try to exclude former poor residents of N'Awlins (a majority of whom were black) from future plans to restore the city to its iconic status before Katrina turned it into a disaster that developers hope to turn into a nostalgic theme park misrepresentation. No, it ain't funny, but fortunately, months after the FEMA jokes have grown tired - and the rich white politicians and news anchors no longer pose in incongruous juxtaposition against waves of black folks left behind to fend for themselves on sidewalks  outside of so-called shelters  -  the region  retains  the empty-headed  mayor who kept everyone laughin'  during  some of the most horrific  moments of the  hurricane aftermath.  Mayor Ray Nagin is  Katrina's  unintentional  gift of comic relief that keeps on giving! 
This week the mayor addressed the  concern of many  people, not all of whom are from N'Awlins, that the widely-anticipated vision of a renaissance for the "The Big Easy" may not include affordable housing in accessable neighborhoods for large numbers of poor folks, mostly black, who have been dispersed to a 1/2 dozen or more Southern cities. The mayor didn't need to worry about getting everyone's attention. Mayor C. Ray Nagin proclaimed:

It's time for us to rebuild a New Orleans, the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans. And I don't care what people are saying in Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day. This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be. You can't have it no other way."

 One New Orleans resident responded to Mayor Nagin's assertion: “We’re more Neapolitan, not chocolate”

Another perplexed resident offered this comment: "It was white people who put Ray Nagin into office..."
SOLEMNLY SWEARING - THE HYPOCRITIC OATH

Rogier van Bakel, bloggin' @ Nobody's Business has this:

Sen. Rick Santorum, who has been tapped by fellow Senate Republican leaders to draft legislation tightening restrictions on lobbyists, has received more money from lobbyists than any other congressional candidate so far in the 2006 election cycle. Mr. Santorum, R-Pa., received $145,946 from lobbyists in the period from the start of the 2006 election cycle through Oct. 31, 2005, according to an analysis by the Center for Responsive Politics based on the most recent data the Federal Election Commission has published.

RANT, REV., RANT!

Y' WANT TERM LIMITS?! I'D BE WILLING TO GIVE YA OURS!
It seemed so easy - limit the number of years an elected official can hold office and you refresh the system with fresh blood every 8-12 years. When a deal looks too good or too easy, the conventional wisdom goes, - beware! Make sure you have read the fine print. Term Limits were the mantra of Newt Gingrich's "reformist" conservatives in the '90s - and look how well THEY'VE done.

Term Limits have resulted in the best gummint money can buy right here in the BIG RED State of OHIO. The unintended consequence of term limits is that  turning over the legislature to fresh politicians every so many years - results in sending the EXPERIENCED, PROFESSIONAL POLITICIANS packing. The result is the horrific gaggle of inexperienced, inept, corrupt idealogues that make up the majority in the Ohio State legislature.

 

Experience counts in most endeavors, in the medical, legal and scientific professions, in the arts and in business. The fallacy underlying term limits is that "professional" politicians are a bad thing. Is there a corollary that follows, that indicates "professional" surgeons, barbers, musicians and engineers should be fired at regular intervals in favor of green recruits? JERRY GOT THE NOBEL PRIZE! WELL, THEN - IT'S TIME TO PUT A GUY WITH A BRAND NEW DOCTORATE IN HIS POSITION!

 

Term limits do NOT minimize opportunities for arrogance, misuse of power or malfeasance. Just look at our legislature and see what term limits have wrought. The only recourse for free, rational citizens to exert the people's will is the ballot box. We can throw the bums out! How's THAT for Term Limits?!

POEM FROM WRITER'S ALMANC :
by Robert Frost from The Poetry of Robert Frost (Henry Holt).

"A TIME TO TALK" 
When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don't stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven't hoed,
And shout from where I am, 'What is it?'
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.

Well, the snow has melted. The sun is peepin' through the thin spots in the clouds. It just seemed like a good day to take this passionate purple Plymouth - a '41 soft-top to the park and steal some o' the lustre from all those Fords & Chevys...

"HEY, THUMPER!"

Good fortune. COMMENT! Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed...

THE SWIFTBOATING OF JOHN MURTHA

PURPLE HEARTBREAKERS

by Former Reagan-era
Secretary of the Navy James Webb
New York Times / OP-ED ... in recent years extremist Republican operatives have inverted a longstanding principle: that our combat veterans be accorded a place of honor in political circles. This trend began with the ugly insinuations leveled at Senator John McCain during the 2000 Republican primaries and continued with the slurs against Senators Max Cleland and John Kerry, and now Mr. Murtha.

...the Cybercast News Service, a supposedly independent organization with deep ties to the Republican Party, has dusted off the Swift Boat Veterans playbook, questioning whether Mr. Murtha deserved his two Purple Hearts. The article also implied that Mr. Murtha did not deserve the Bronze Star he received, and that the combat-distinguishing "V" on it was questionable. It then called on Mr. Murtha to open up his military records.

Cybercast News Service is run by David Thibault, who formerly worked as the senior producer for "Rising Tide," the televised weekly news magazine produced by the Republican National Committee. One of the authors of the Murtha article was Marc Morano, a long-time writer and producer for Rush Limbaugh.

The accusations against Mr. Murtha were very old news, principally coming from defeated political rivals. Aligned against their charges are an official letter from Marine Corps Headquarters written nearly 40 years ago affirming Mr. Murtha's eligibility for his Purple Hearts - "you are entitled to the Purple Heart and a Gold Star in lieu of a second Purple Heart for wounds received in action" - and the strict tradition of the Marine Corps regarding awards. While in other services lower-level commanders have frequently had authority to issue prestigious awards, in the Marines Mr. Murtha's Vietnam Bronze Star would have required the approval of four different awards boards.

...The political tactic of playing up the soldiers on the battlefield while tearing down the reputations of veterans who oppose them could eventually cost the Republicans dearly. It may be one reason that a preponderance of the Iraq war veterans who thus far have decided to run for office are doing so as Democrats.

Hear! Hear! 

IS BUSH'S NSA SPY-OP AN IMPEACHABLE OFFENSE?

Some of the people who think so are CONSERVATIVES!

Over @ ACLU - among the Organizations and People Involved in the NSA Lawsuit are Christopher Hitchens, who supports the US incursion into and occupation of Iraq, nevertheless has a harsh assessment of Generalissimo W. Bunnypants's hitherto secretive domestic spying program: 

"I believe the President when he says that this will be a very long war, and insofar as a mere civilian may say so, I consider myself enlisted in it. But this consideration in itself makes it imperative that we not take panic or emergency measures in the short term, and then permit them to become institutionalised. I need hardly add that wire-tapping is only one of the many areas in which this holds true.

The better the ostensible justification for an infringement upon domestic liberty, the more suspicious one ought to be of it. We are hardly likely to be told that the government would feel less encumbered if it could dispense with the Bill of Rights. But a power or a right, once relinquished to one administration for one reason, will unfailingly be exploited by successor administrations, for quite other reasons. It is therefore of the first importance that we demarcate, clearly and immediately, the areas in which our government may or may not treat us as potential enemies."

Carpet Bagger Report has this: "...plenty on the right are plenty concerned about what's transpired:

* On the Hill — On Friday, Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) expressed serious concern about the spy program and vowed to hold hearings after lawmakers reconvene in the new year. Over the weekend, Senator Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) suggested Bush exceeded his authority and may have circumvented the law. Yesterday, Republican Sens. Chuck Hagel (Neb.) and Olympia Snowe (Maine) joined three Senate Dems in demanding a full-scale congressional investigation into the domestic-surveillance program.

* Among the scholars — Bruce Fein, a conservative constitutional scholar and former deputy attorney general in the Reagan Administration, said yesterday that the president is flouting the Constitution and may have committed an impeachable offense. Norm Ornstein, a conservative scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, echoed Fein, saying, "I think if we're going to be intellectually honest here, this really is the kind of thing that Alexander Hamilton was referring to when impeachment was discussed."

* Former administration officials — Former Secretary of State Colin Powell questioned the president's conduct on ABC's Nightline, saying, "My own judgment is that — it didn't seem to me, anyway, that it would have been that hard to go and get the warrants [through FISA]. And even in the case of an emergency, you go and do it [begin surveillance]. The law provides for that. And three days later, you let the court know what you have done, and deal with it that way."

* Former Republican lawmakers — Former Rep. Bob Barr (R-Ga.) was nearly apoplectic about Bush's conduct, suggesting the president "deliberately order[ed] that federal law be violated," and "ignored" the Constitution.

* The conservative blogosphere — Though plenty of right-wing supporters of the president are rallying to his defense, a few conservatives who usually back Bush, including Neil Boortz and Jon Henke, believe the administration went too far with this program...

Good fortune. COMMENT! Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed...

This blog is interactive - yes, it is. COMMENT!! Or ELSE -    

P.O.E.T.S. - 011406

PISS ON EVER'THIN' - T'DAY'S SATURDAY
January 14, 2ôô6!
(Click on any image to ENLARGE IT.)

PHOTO CONTEST WINNERS - 35TH ANNUAL NATIONAL WILDLIFE FEDERATION  photo - Robert M. Palmer, Milliken, Colorado

A young swift fox makes a dash for its den, a kangaroo rat clenched tightly in its teeth. Earlier this year, Palmer stumbled upon the kit’s mother and followed her back to her den in eastern Colorado—a rare find, since swift foxes have vanished from 90 percent of their historic range in the United States.
(Da Rev's standup follows the quotes...)
Monday we commemorate the birthday of DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

UNSUBSCRIBED: LOU RAWLS
QUOTE / UNQUOTE

"Children   need you now ... The very fact that these are real needs, that you feel them   as your own, that there is no one else responsible for these needs, gives them   primacy. It is distraction, not meditation, that becomes habitual; interruption,   not continuity; ... Unused capacities atrophy, cease to be."  [Tillie   Olsen, American Novelist]

If you build a man a fire he will be warm all evening, but if you set a man on fire, he will be warm the rest of his life.

[Donald Rumsfeld, Unindicted War Criminal]

The church is not the master of the state, nor the servant of the state, but the conscience of the state.
[Martin Luther King Jr., advocating the separation of religion from government.]

WELL HOWDY, REV'LERS!
Yow!  Are we laid back yet?

I just discovered EGG SALAD in my SILK SOCKS! It seems good and fresh, though... 

Blame it on the BOSSA NOVA!!!
Bongo News “Okay, who let all the Americans sit on one side?”

I know how to do SPECIAL EFFECTS (reaching under shirt to arm pit) !!

I wonder if there's anything good on right now?

Gallery of the Absurd  Tom Cruise, Al Reynolds, and David Gest are all big fans of BABE magazine!

Harry "Bud" Melman is my co-pilot...

Why don't you ever enter any CONTESTS, Michael?? Don't you know your ZIPCODE?

Wow!  Look!!  A stray meatball!!  Let's interview it!
“Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you...”  Bongo News

THIS JUST ______ IN ! !
Bag News Notes HOLY CRAP!! Two anti-abortion activists are shown here praying and "anointing the doors" to the Senate hearing room where the Alito confirmation hearings were to take place.
From what I've read concerning Jesus, he was sometimes against the publicity stunt approach to religious expression. I believe he said that he'd prefer that people go home and hide in the closet behind some coats instead. Jesus's dry sense of humor is often overlooked by his followers along with the whole point of what he said, supposedly.

Rev. Art: Sen. John McCain was reported to be carrying his lucky compass, his lucky feather, his lucky penny, his lucky rock and his lucky pen. He believes the talismans helped him survive two plane crashes. OK, McCain pisses off the Religious Reich - but that doesn't make him a rational choice.

Rev. Art: President Bush hosted a dozen past Secretaries of State and Defense last week for some fresh ideas on Iraq. JFK's policy analyst Dr. Arthur Sclessinger, Jr. attended and was disappointed. He complained, "He met with us for 35 minutes. Does he think we're stupid?!"

Comedian Argus Hamilton runs down the events of the past week:
Washington lobbyist Jack Abramoffukkah pleaded guilty to bribing congressmen last week. It happens he went to the same high school as Monica Lewinsky. At Beverly Hills High School they teach sex education and American civics under the same table.

                                                                        


The Wall Street Journal reports today that House Speaker Dennis Hastert is proposing to “ban all privately financed trips for lawmakers.” Activists on both sides of the aisle can take comfort in knowing that influence peddling, covert agendas, scare tactics and banging your intern are still totally cool.

President Bush said I-told-you-so to Democrats who opposed his tax cuts last year in his weekly radio address last Saturday. He cited statistics showing the U.S. economy just added five million jobs. Latchkey kids are becoming a problem in India. 
Sam Alito told the Senate he couldn't recall belonging to a Princeton alumni group opposed to affirmative action, even though his membership was on his resume. He lost his memory in front of a Senate investigative committee. Now the Italian-American Anti-Defamation League is on his case for conforming to ugly stereotypes. 
NSA whistleblower Russell Tice told ABC's Nightline Tuesday the White House is eavesdropping illegally on millions of Americans without reason. The government says don't believe him. Russ Tice was fired for exhibiting signs of psychotic paranoia - as if he was the one who thought Saddam had weapons of mass destruction.
Dipsy! What about this?! San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders complained  about San Diego being ranked a low-risk target for terror by Homeland Security. It really is a quiet place. Even the road leading into town, Torrey Pines, sounds like a Protestant air freshener.

HERE'S SOMETHIN' REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT!
"ALITO? SOUNDS LIKE LIBIDO! ...<guffaw>...

Pat Robertson said Ariel Sharon suffered a stroke because God was angry that he divided and gave away God's land. He's out of his mind. It's obvious to everyone that at the time Ariel Sharon got sick, God was busy helping Texas beat USC.

Wayne Newton issued a call for celebrities to join his USO show and entertain the troops in Iraq. It's a tough situation for the troops. What they want is jokes, but Bob Hope is gone and the House Ethics Committee refuses to travel.

WARNING! PG - 34 (Remember - Click on any image to ENLARGE IT.)


OOooohh! SERENA'S SWEET SMILE...




Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant here in Metro Fairborn, Ohio, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket, then looked around the room and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"
"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84 percent more often than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel is prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare spoon. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."
I was rather impressed. The waiter served our main course and I continued to look around. I then noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. My curiosity got the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom."
"How so?"
"See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."
"Okay, that makes sense, but . . . if the string helps you get it out, how do you put it back in?"
"Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon". 
Actress Rene Russo - Smart, Sassy, Statuesque...

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to bug off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good!" said the first bat, "Because I fucking didn't!"
A GIRL'S PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,One who's willy's thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks,When promises to call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed, and when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind, knows just what to say, when I ask "How big's my behind?"
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin, in the hall, the garden and kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me to no end, and never attempt to shag my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed. I look at the dickhead you sent me instead.
Amen.

A BOYS PRAYER
I pray for a girl with BIG TITS.
Amen.   (Remember - Click on any image to ENLARGE IT.)
A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms."What size?" asks the clerk?
"Gee, I don't know."
"Go see Sophie in aisle 4."
He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!"
The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly. Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!"
The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves. A high school kid comes in to buy condoms."What size?"
The kid embarrassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"

EEK!!

Good fortune. COMMENT! Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed...

JACK ABRAMOFFUKKAH - UNORTHODOX JEW...

"COMMON THREADS" by Meg Seligman

(Click on any image to ENLARGE IT)

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." - Kurt Vonnegut

THE MAN KNOWS "EASY"...
From Writer's Almanac: It's the birthday of Walter Mosley, born in the Watts section of Los Angeles (1952). His novels, Devil in a Blue Dress (1990), A Red Death (1991), and White Butterfly (1992) are all set in Los Angeles in the 1950s, featuring the black detective Easy (Ezekiel) Rawlins. Mosley considers his mysteries character-driven, not plot-driven, and the character, of course, is the detective. His other books include Walkin' the Dog (2000), and the science fiction novel Blue Light (2000).

Walter Mosley is one of the finest writers in America today. Little Scarlett is set in the period of the Watts riots in L. A. "Easy" Rawlins once again moves uneasily between two worlds... Click on Little Scarlett on this site under "Recommended Books"...

UNORTHODOX JEW: ABRAMOFFUKKAH & THE KOSHER LOBSTER

I found myself sitting in front of the 52-incher Saturday AM watching MSNBC's Saturday News when the new program hosted by Maury Povich and Connie Chung (10 AM & 4 PM EST) caught my attention. First, I thought the production was smart, quick, and engaging. Maury looks so fit and full of energy; his wife Connie Chung is as cute as ever and, like Maury, looking at least 15 years younger than the calendar reveals.

They reported some background on Jack Abramoffukkah that I had not known. For example, little Jackie became an Orthodox Jew after viewing Fiddler On The Roof at age 12. As a teenager, he walked barefoot to Shabbot services. In college he met two men who would remain his best buds and professional associates right up to the present day - Little Ralph Reed, former head of the theocracist Christian Coalition, and Grover Norquist, who runs the elitist Americans for Tax Reform.

Following college, Abramoffukkah produced a couple of action flicks, Red Scorpion I & II, in Apartheid-era South Africa, violating US State Dept. sanctions, along with thumbing his nose at the Hollywood establishment and their boycott of South Africa. Later he started up a kosher restaurant in L. A. - which must have done well enough - 'cuz he opened a second - also billed as "kosher" - but featuring a "sushi chef". The eatery's popular specialty was "Vanilla-Basted Lobster". The report didn't speculate upon Mr. Abramoffukkah's current affiliation with Judaic institutions, except to mention that a Hebrew school founded and largely funded by the lobbyist in D.C. has missed paychecks for the staff over the last several weeks...

WHY DO YOU THINK - WHEN THE RETHUGLICKERS SEEM TO BE SELF-DESTRUCTING - THE PROGRESSIVE RESPONSE SEEMS SO DILUTED
THE (Broken) TRIANGLE: Progressive Bloggers in the Wilderness  
by Peter Daou @ Salon.com.

"This, then, is the reality: progressive bloggers and online activists - positioned on the front lines of a cold civil war - face a thankless and daunting task: battle the Bush administration and its legions of online and offline apologists, battle the so-called “liberal” media and its tireless weaving of pro-GOP narratives, battle the ineffectual Democratic leadership, and battle the demoralization and frustration that comes with a long, steep uphill struggle." Read the rant - it's incisive...

AS THE U.S. & EUROPE DITHER & DAWDLE...
Israelis update plan for pre-emptive strike on Iran

From IN THE BULLPEN:
Another report that Israel is updating their plan for a pre-emptive strike on Iran “as soon as the end of March”:

Pilots at the Israeli air force’s elite 69 squadron have been briefed on the plan and have conducted rehearsals for their missions. The Iranians have meanwhile dispersed production facilities across hundreds of miles of remote countryside to make a single, knockout blow more difficult...

THE MARION BARRY DEFENSE FOR HYPOCRITE BAPTIST PREACHER
From Channel Oklahoma: Tulsa Pastor Arrested In OKC On Lewdness Charge - January 6, 2006

OKLAHOMA CITY -- An executive committee member of the Southern Baptist Convention was arrested on a lewdness charge for propositioning a plainclothes policeman outside a hotel, police said. Lonnie Latham, senior pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Church, was booked into Oklahoma County Jail Tuesday night on a misdemeanor charge of offering to engage in an act of lewdness, police Capt. Jeffrey Becker said. Latham was released on $500 bail Wednesday afternoon. Latham, who has spoken out against homosexuality, asked the officer to join him in his hotel room for oral sex. Latham was arrested and his 2005 Mercedes automobile was impounded, Becker said...

When he left jail, he said: "I WAS SET UP! I was in the area pastoring to police."

The arrest took place in the parking lot of the Habana Inn, which is in an area where the public has complained about male prostitutes flagging down cars, Becker said. The plainclothes officer was investigating these complaints...

From Drudge: Planned Parenthood's new condom key chains 'blasphemous' - Thu Jan 12 2006

 
Planned Parenthood has launched a line of condom key chains -- key chains that offend "just about everyone in the country," claims Jim Sedlak, executive director of American Life League's STOPP International. "Some are even blasphemous."

The condom key chains, featuring 28 different designs, are offered for sale on Planned Parenthood of Connecticut's web site. Each chain has a picture or slogan on a plastic holder containing a latex condom.

"Planned Parenthood offends religious people with its key chain that shows a portion of the famous painting from the Sistine Chapel. Michelangelo gave us a beautiful image of Adam stretching out his hand to God, with God's index finger about to touch Adam's index finger," said Sedlak. "In Planned Parenthood's blasphemous version, God is handing Adam a condom."

Planned Parenthood goes on to offend parents with its key chain that shows a caricature of a loudly crying baby," said Sedlak. "Planned Parenthood's slogan accompanying the caricature states, 'Condoms are cheaper than diapers.'...

HERE'S SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT:

Uh, they don't call it the "Best Actress" award, but -
Adult film actress Audrey Hollander accepts the award for Female Performer of the Year during the 23rd annual AVN (Adult Video News) Awards Show at the Venetian Resort Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada January 7, 2006. (photo-Steve Marcus/Reuters)

  TAKE THE GRAND CHRYSLER MARQUE, ADD A ROLLS GRILL & SOME HIP-HOP ATTITUDE - AND Y' GOT A HOT NEW IMPERIAL CONCEPT HITTIN' THE STAGES THIS YEAR...
Mmmm - can't wait to park somethin' like this in The Last Chance Garage...

Good fortune. COMMENT. Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed...