SKEPTICS’ DIGEST
YOURS FOR
BOLOGNA DETECTION
- SINCE 1996
“What you think you know may not be so.”
QUOTE/UNQUOTE
"Me a skeptic? I
hope you have proof!" [Anon]
To be rational is to look
the universe in the face and not flinch.
[Anon]
“No matter how cynical
you become, it's never enough to keep up.”
[Lily Tomlin]
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CATEGORY: STUPID THINGS I HAVE DONE…
Professor PZ Myer @ Pharyngula will go first:
DON'T CARRY BATTERIES IN YOUR POCKET!
... This evening, I was stretched out on my
recliner, enjoying a little light reading, when I smelled something odd—an odor
of burning, and a faint chemical reek. I looked around and saw nothing, but the
odor was getting stronger. I set my book aside, looked down, and saw something
no man likes to see: tendrils of smoke rising from my fly. Then, I felt searing
pain from my thigh. I jumped up and danced around (to the amusement of my
daughter), and frantically tried to fish all the loose change out of my pocket.
The coins were flaming hot. I was caught in the dilemma of letting my leg burn,
or burning my hands trying to get these things out. I ended up throwing
sizzling bits of money around the room.
I had tossed a couple of spare NiMH AA
batteries in my pocket earlier, when I was out doing some photography. A pair
of them had apparently jostled into exactly the right configuration to short
out against the coins in my pocket, leading to the surprisingly rapid and
intense generation of heat.
I don’t think I’ll carry batteries that way anymore. I now have the imprint of a pair of quarters scorched into my palm, and feel a bit like Belzig, the fat sadistic Nazi from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.
And my kids are laughing at me for dancing
around with my pants on fire.
And now I tell you this cautionary tale, O Gentle Reader, to spare you the humiliation of repeating my error. See how much I care?
OK, Rev'lers! How's THAT for a pubic surface announcement?!
Da Rev admits to laughing @ PZ's recounting of his mishap and is pleased to hear there was no serious injury - but I wish he would tell us if his recliner is OK. No one should lose a comfortable reading chair...
The next example was posted by someone named “suirauqa”
@ Respectful Insolence:
... A friend of mine, then a first-year medical
student, was taking his end-year final exam, and this was during the oral (viva
voce) exam after the written part. He was to be quizzed on histopathology of
uterine cancer. The first question was from the external examiner (showing a
tissue section of uterus): what organ is this?
My friend went blank. No answer for a minute.
The internal examiner, our professor - a kindly old gentleman - wanted to give
him a hint. He said, "Think about an organ that neither you nor I
have..." My friend looked up with a sparkle in his eye; he'd got the hint.
He said confidently, "Ah, the brain!"
And finally, Da Rev's most memorable stupid thing he's done (of many bone-head ideas over 64 years):
I WAS A CANDIDATE FOR THE DARWIN AWARD WHEN I WAS 3!
No shit!
At age 3, I had the curiosity of a future physicist, and confidence born of never having suffered painful consequences from leaping, literally, to a conclusion. (Maybe I was primarily utilizing the right hemisphere of my brain.)
At any rate, I figured that if my tricycle were going as fast as possible, I’d be able to leap a chasm (and this was before TV or Evel Knievel or SUPER DAVE Osborne or “Jackass”). I pedaled as fast as I could on the downhill sidewalk in the back of my grandma’s house in Wilmington, Ohio, straight for the chasm . . .
Hmmm, perhaps my mistake was to discount the fact that the chasm was a set of 3 steps leading to the house down from the sidewalk . . . and the other side of said chasm was a 90-degree right turn to the rough surface of a stone retaining wall which was nearly level with the sidewalk.
Duh Bumpity Bump Bump Bump. . . I toppled over like that little guy in the yellow rain suit on the old Laugh-In Show. I busted my clavicle. Nobody mentioned anything about Darwin. After all - this was in Wilmington, Ohio – in 1945!
Rev. Art: I VOTED FOR ISSUE 5 (a complete ban on second-hand smoke in public buildings) IN OHIO. It passed.
Our ancestors fought for our individual freedoms.
Our ancestors fought for your right to foul my air with toxic, carcinogenic fumes? I don't think so! Tom Jefferson said that your rights stop at the other fellow's nose. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
Really, is this any different than regulations and enforcement for any health & safety issues in public accommodations and workplaces.
My granddad lived to be 90 and he smoked every day since he was 13.
You're in denial - and you're hoping against hope that you'll be so lucky as to live to a ripe old age like your granddad.
The smokers-in-denial are refusing to acknowledge, that smoking endangers the health of everyone in the joint - including the bartenders and wait staff who put in a whole shift suckin' those toxic fumes.
I hate to recall all the smoke I sucked up while singin' behind a mike in saloons. Personally, I was a "non-smoker" - but the exhaust fans were always directly behind the bandstand. I was usually hoarse at the end of hour 2 of a 5-hour gig...
AYN RAND'S IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOR
I've
long been an admirer of the late Ayn Rand for her intellectual honesty and
rational approach to living. However, the great champion of reason over
emotional thinking was a chain smoker who refused to even try to quit. Ayn Rand
went out of her way to try to disprove the gummint-funded studies showing
correlation between cancer and smoking - by quoting the quacks who turned out
the reports for the tobacco industry by way of refutation.
Not only did Ayn Rand lose points for fallacious
reasoning and denial - she contracted lung cancer. After she was diagnosed, she
continued to smoke, denying that cigarette smoking had done the damage. Then
she died...
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FALLACIOUS
ASSAULTS
"I don't know how DNA works, so there must
be an omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient God-field who does."
[Deepak Chopra]
RATIONALLY
SPEAKING
Massimo Pigliucci’s Blog Friday, October 20, 2006
THE MOST UNREAL REALITY SHOW
EVER
Don't get me started on
so-called “reality” shows, or I'll never stop. But this one is worth noting:
infamous “spoon bender” Uri Geller,
the buffoon who has claimed for decades to be able to bend metal by sheer
mental power, has announced
a new reality show (on Israeli television, but I'm sure Fox will purchase
the rights soon) to name an “heir” to Geller's highly questionable heritage.
The “American Idol”-like show will seek “riveting and amazing” performances by
wanna-be mind-over-matter performers, and even viewers equipped with mere
“intuitive powers” will be allowed to call in. Golly, I just can't wait to see
the first episode!
Interestingly, Geller said: “This is not a show where people have to prove to
me that they are for real,” which is a good thing, since he has never been able
to rise to that minimum standard himself!
Good fortune. Please spread the meme. Comment. Comment. Comment. Don't smoke in bed… 
