Stay tuned - MONDAY's the big day!
I think blogger R.J. Lehmann may have figured out the legislator least likely to genuflect before the Religious Reich... Congressman Neil Abercrombie (D-HI)!
If he's the one, Congressman Neil Abercrobmie will become a household name OVERNIGHT!
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Captain America (66) comic book superhero created in 1941 as an adversary for Adolf Hitler, more evil than any villain co-creators Joe Smith and Jack Kirby could dream up. Since then, the patriotic hero had appeared in an estimated 210 million copies sold in 75 countries. Captain America (aka Steve Rogers) was killed off this week in Captain America #25. As our hero emerges from a courthouse building, he is struck by a sniper’s bullet in the shoulder, then hit again in the stomach, blood seeping out of his star-spangled costume. The comic book hit the stands on March 7, 2007. But comic book deaths are seldom final. (...sigh... The Lib'ruls HATE America AND Baby Jesus...)
John Inman (71) actor best known for his role on the British TV series Are You Being Served? Inman played the very camp Mr. Humphries—catch-phrase, “I’m free!’’—in the long-running BBC comedy, which ran for 65 episodes (1973–85) and was made into a feature-length film. He died in London, England on March 8, 2007.
Weasel Former Senator Thomas Eagleton
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JAZZ CORNET PLAYER BIX BEIDERBECKE (104) was one of the great jazz musicians of the 1920's; he was also a child of the Jazz Age who drank himself to an early grave with illegal Prohibition liquor. His hard drinking and beautiful tone on the cornet made him a legend among musicians during his life. The legend of Bix grew even larger after he died. Bix never learned to read music very well, but he had an amazing ear even as a child. His parents disapproved of his playing music and sent him to a military school outside of Chicago in 1921. He was soon expelled for skipping class and became a full-time musician. In 1923 Beiderbecke joined the Wolverine Orchestra and recorded with them the following year. Bix was influenced a great deal by the Original Dixieland Jass Band, but soon surpassed their playing. In late 1924 Bix left the Wolverines to join Jean Goldkette's Orchestra, but his inability to read music eventually resulted in him losing the job. In 1926 he spent some time with Frankie Trumbauer's Orchestra where he recorded his solo piano masterpiece "In a Mist". He also recorded some of his best work with Trumbauer and guitarist, Eddie Lang, under the name of Tram, Bix, and Eddie. Bix was able to bone up on his sight-reading enough to re-join Jean Goldkette's Orchestra briefly, before signing up as a soloist with Paul Whiteman's Orchestra. Whiteman's Orchestra was the most popular band of the 1920's and Bix enjoyed the prestige and money of playing with such a successful outfit, but it didn't stop his drinking. In 1929 Bix's drinking began to catch up with him. He suffered from delirium tremens and he had a nervous breakdown while playing with the Paul Whiteman Orchestra, and was eventually sent back to his parents in Davenport, Iowa to recover. It should be noted that Paul Whiteman was very good to Bix during his struggles. He kept Bix on full pay long after his breakdown, and promised him that his chair was always open in the Whiteman Orchestra, but, Bix was never the same again, and never rejoined the band. He returned to New York in 1930 and made a few more records with his friend Hoagy Carmichael and under the name of Bix Beiderbecke and his Orchestra. But mainly, he holed himself up in a rooming house in Queens, New York where he drank a lot and worked on his beautiful solo piano pieces "Candlelight", "Flashes", and "In The Dark" (played here by Ralph Sutton; Bix never recorded them). He died at age 28 in 1931 during an alcoholic seizure. The official cause of death was lobar pneumonia and edema of the brain. 
Dancer CYD CHARISSE (86) performed in celebrated on-screen pairings with Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly. Her work includes two of the most acclaimed dance sequences in musical cinema, the "Broadway Melody Ballet" sequence from the movie Singin' in the Rain and the "Girl Hunt Ballet" from The Band Wagon. She's still married to her second husband, Singer Tony Martin - since '48!
Handsome Leading Man, Star of many musicals, and top recording artist, one great baritone GORDON MacRAE would be 86.
Author JACK KEROUAC author of the infamous novel, On the Road, Kerouac became a leader and a spokesperson for the Beat Movement. He would be 85.
Musician, Bandleader, Songwriter, Producer, Record Company executive and Booking Agent LLOYD PRICE (74) musician recorded for the Specialty and ABC-Paramount labels. The bulk of his R&B sides were cut for Specialty and bear the hallmark of the New Orleans sound. Stagger Lee, Personality, Lawdy Miss Clawdy...
Actor- Singer-Drummer-Producer George "MICKY" DOLENZ, Jr. 62) began his show business career in 1956 (with bleached hair) when he starred in a children’s show called Circus Boy under the name Mickey Braddock. In the show he played an orphaned boy who is the water boy for the elephants in his uncle’s one-ring circus at the turn of the 20th Century. The program ran for three years, after which Dolenz made sporadic appearances on network TV shows and pursued his education. He also played with a couple of obscure rock and roll bands. In 1965 Dolenz was cast in the television sitcom The Monkees and became the drummer and lead vocalist for the band created for the show. He wrote a few of the band’s songs as well as providing the lead vocals for such hits as "Last Train to Clarksville" and "I'm a Believer". MICKY DOLENZ is one o' Rev. Art's Atheist Pin-Ups
English author, comic radio dramatist, and amateur musician DOUGLAS Noël ADAMS (would be 55) is known most notably as author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. He was best friends with Richard Dawkins. Hitchhiker's began on radio, and developed into a "trilogy" of five books (which sold more than fifteen million copies during his lifetime) as well as a television series, a towel, a comic book series, a computer game and a feature film that was completed after Adams's death. He was a RADICAL atheist and is one o' Da Rev's Atheist Pin-Ups! Douglas Adams died of a heart attack at the age of 49 on Friday 11 May 2001, while working out at a private gym in Montecito, California. He suffered a narrowing of the coronary arteries which led to a myocardial infarction and a fatal cardiac arrhythmia. He was survived by his wife Jane and daughter Polly.
"God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.' " [Ann Coulter, 2001]
On Matt Groening's The Simpsons, during a theological discussion:
Lisa: Yes, but wouldn't you rather know the truth than to delude yourself for happiness?
Marge: Well... um.... [goes outside to jump on tampoline with Homer.]
"Usually, a president wants the conviction of a high-ranking White House official and the veterans-sleeping-in-moldy-rat-holes stories on different days."
[Jon Stewart] 
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WELL HOWDY, REV'LERS!!
Welcome to our humble abode in Metro Fairborn, Ohio. Like a lot of people, before we purchased this place, we calculated what we could afford to pay; promised ourselves not to exceed it by more than thirty grand; and chose where we'd like to live. We checked real estate ads, called a few realtors and selected a more realistic locale. That's how we came to live in Fairborn.
)__=> “Yes, Doctor, the erection has lasted more than 72 hours. What should I do?” Bongo News
This week all proceeds from THE STAND-UP will be given to defray the considerable medical expenses of Sky Venable, a college student and animal rights activist from Yellow Springs, Ohio, who is in a Chronic Vegetarian State. Her holistic practitioner reports that her condition is reversible.
Blogging is like crack addiction - minus the sex...
Dr. Mal passes this along... "Gangrene may smell like almonds, but it tastes like rotten flesh." 
I notice about half of today's attendees are wearing utility belts. Da Pagan Baby didn't START the trend - but we certainly helped to popularize it...
Laszlo the bartender has a delightful party drink you should try. It's nutritious! The recipe:
1 can of Spam
1 tin of anchovies
2 12oz cans of beer
4 oz tomato juice
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1/2 cup chopped up parsley
1/4 cup chopped scallions
dash of Tabasco
salt (if you'd need it), pepper to taste
put it in blender and blend until smooth
serve chilled with celery stick
YUMmmmm... Don't eat or drink what you cannot comprehend...
Y' know? Nobody we know in Fairborn actually makes anything. They are all employed by or retired from Wright-Patterson air Force Base. Yup, we live in the bedroom community of the former number one Soviet nuke missile target... now that'd be China, North Korea, Iran, Brazil, Venezuela...
Wright-Pat workers love to report that they get calls from the DOD or "The Pentagon". They talk almost exclusively in acronyms and they actually understand each other. Most plan to continue working as "independent consultants" after they begin collecting their pension, which is 60% of salary PLUS colas and benefits. This occurs at age 55 or whenever the gummint mandates a "reduction in force".
Consequently, in Fairborn, when you stop someone on the street to ask for directions, 75% of the time they say "Oh, sorry, I'm just in from DC."
The other 25% are Korean... Hmmm... but 75% of our restaurants are Korean! 
A leading psychologist says in today’s world, many people never grow up. Professor Bruce Charlton says many people never reach mental maturity. Well - if you ask me - Professor Charlton is a POOPY HEAD!
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that considered a hostage crisis?
We watched Al Gore's scary movie, An Inconvenient Truth, and we wish we could buy more carbon offsets than we actually need to make up for all those years we didn't give a crap about the environment.
(You TELL 'em, Huey!)
If everything you know is wrong, then so are the scary parts, so relax.
Some strip clubs now have hot tubs... OOoooohhh! Festering caldrons of man chowder!
Not for me - I can't even bring myself to take a crap in a bar restroom. I fail to see this inhibition as a phobia...
Sean is worried that the euphoric feeling after he takes a huge dump means he's gay. I told him to ask his priest...
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I'll never forget the time Rick and I were drivin' home from a major drinking bout. All of a sudden, Rick started screaming, "ART, watch out for the wall, watch out for the WAAAaaaalll!"
KEE-RAAASSH!! ! Boy, did we hit THAT wall! The next day in the hospital Rick, on critches, hobbled up to my bedside and asked, "ART, you dumbass! I was screaming for you to watch out for that wall, why didn't you?"
From my morphine-haze I managed to shift in my body cast sufficiently to look in his direction. I answered him, " 'CUZ YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WAS FUCKING DRIVING!!"
One o' Da Rev's Atheist Pin-Ups, Sarah Silverman, had a one-night stand with God in the season finale of "The Sarah Silverman Program," which aired on Comedy Central Wednesday night. (NOT recommended for limp-wristed sissy Christians...) Yeah, yeah, we watched it, even though we're aware that God screwed Sarah Silverman a long time ago - by creating Jimmy Kimmel!
Actually - the funniest line of the evening was when she begged off helpin' a friend move her stuff 'cuz "I stubbed my vagina!"
At least she admits to HAVING a vagina - unlike the Eva Braun emaciated side-show freak poster girl for fascist neo-cons and the Religious Reich, Ann Coulter. Does s/he take it in the ass?! Often she has her head buried in her rectal orifice - right up past her Adam's Apple. How HUGE must that thing be? When she farts does it sound like the air brakes on a fully loaded Mack truck? Can you imagine the wobble through those cheeks when it happens? Kinda like a couple of tsunami's hitting each other over and over and over and...
ANNIE NOFANNY & JOHN EDWARDS
Let's just give 'em that they BOTH have lovely hair... and try to move on...
P.S.: Uh, God?
If you created man in Your image, does that mean You have a taint? If so, does that mean You have taint-hair? Do You have nipples like we do, and if so, why? What purpose do Your male nipples serve? When it gets hot outside, do Your balls hang low?
Does God get erections? If so, what inspires them? Does God get a hard-on when he sees men? Or women? Or is it a choice for Him, like... >>>ahem<<<... it is for us?
Ahhh, Da Pagan Baby's insisting I have a cup o' STFU... I MUST be OFF!!
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Bush Defends Walter Reed
Washington (LaughFish.com) - President Bush defended Walter Reed hospital today when he said, “Give the man a break. He had all those kids plus he was gay.” ??!?
When it was pointed out to the president that he was referring to actor Robert Reed, and The brady Bunch, Mr. Bush said, “All the more reason to cut him some slack.”
Jake Novak's Homor Blog
Cheney Thrombosis
Vice President Dick Cheney was diagnosed with a blood clot in his leg. Congressional Democrats expressed their sympathy by voting to have him sent immediately to Walter Reed hospital.
Palestinian Talks
Fatah and Hamas are still working on the details of a unity Palestinian government. One popular compromise proposal currently being considered is a plan that will have Fatah killing innocent Jewish civilians on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and Hamas killing them on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. On Sundays, the Palestinians will just go back to killing each other.
Bob Novak - is he the loneliest old mother fucker in DC?
Comedian Argus Hamilton's Best Liners of the week...
Boston University did a survey of young people's knowledge of the Bible last week. They found fifty percent of high schoolers think Sodom and Gomorrah were married. On the bright side, most knew they could only be legally married in Vermont. 
Scooter Libby (NOT a good nickname in prison...) was invited by the special counsel to testify against the White House. How much does he know? He could bury the Bush administration so deep that two thousand years from now there would be a Discovery Channel special on the casket. 
The National Review ran an editorial Tuesday demanding that President Bush pardon Scooter Libby. The magazine speaks for the conservative establishment in Washington. Republicans are very forgiving of perjury as long as it's not about sex. 
President Bush took off for a trip to South and Central America where he met with Latin American leaders. It should be fun. The final stop on his trip will be in Mexico City, or as it's depicted at Disney World, Tomorrowland. 
Mitt Romney won the presidential poll of the conservative conference members in Washington. He was for gay marriage rights and abortion rights but now he's against them. Religious conservatives don't mind if he flip-flops as long as he doesn't call it evolution. 
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama will host receptions at the American Israel Public Affairs Committee conference in Washington D.C. Monday. It could be a repeat of their showdown in Selma. Barack Obama just discovered that his parents met at a deli in Brooklyn and Hillary Clinton is working with Jackie Mason on her accent.
Barack Obama campaigned in Los Angeles last week. It's a balancing act. He is the son of a Kansas woman and an African father, campaigning in a state where an Austrian was just re-elected governor by Mexicans demanding the rights of Englishmen. 
San Francisco researchers found that men over sixty-five years of age who are moderate drinkers are healthier than men who don't drink. (I checked with my liquor store here in Metro Fairborn. They're not equipped yet to deal with a five dollar co-pay for a fifth of Jamesons.) 
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The Last Tomb of Jesus aired on the Discovery Channel. The documentary claims to prove Jesus was buried and did NOT rise from the dead. For crying out loud, if that's true then who's President Bush been talking to for the last six years? 
Beverly Hills made international news last Tuesday when voters apparently elected an Iranian as mayor of Beverly Hills. The town is full of wealthy royalists who fled the revolution just in time and saved their heads. It is a lot like Charleston. 
Los Angeles Angels player Gary Matthews last week was linked to human growth hormone purchases. He has refused comment and hired Robert Shapiro. It's a tradition in Los Angeles to hire O.J. Simpson's defense attorney whenever you have nothing to hide. 
Rudy Giuliani's son cited family strife as the reason he won't campaign for his dad. The former mayor left his second wife for today's wife and his first wife was his cousin. Until now, no one thought it was possible for a Republican to be more fun than the Clintons. 
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Three beer company executives meet for a drink. The president of Anheuser-Busch orders a Bud Light. The president of Miller Brewing orders a Miller Lite and the president of Coors orders a Coors Light. When it is the Guinness exec's turn to order he asked for a Dr. Pepper. "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks.
"Nah," Guinness replies, I don't like to be the only one drinking beer...
Three men walked in to a bar. You think one of them would have seen it!
Chuck had been drinking well into the evening and happened upon a graveyeard. Stumbling aimlessly about, he came upon a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man.”
“HOLY CRAP!” Chuck exclaimed. “They’ve got three guys buried in one f@#king grave.”
A drunk walked up to a parking meter and put in some change. The meter display changed to sixty and the drunk whooped, "Hey! I lost 100 pounds!"
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an "F" in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6.'"
"But that's right!" The father replied.
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"JUMPIN' JESUS KATIE KEE-RICED!! WHAT THE HELL'S THE FUCKIN' DIFFERENCE?" asked the father.
"Yeah! That's what I said!"
Oooohh!! SWEET, SEDUCTIVE LUCY LIU
'tis the season... And 6-Time Ms. Olympia, Body-Builder CORY EVERSON is ready for "try outs"...
Good fortune. COMMENT!! Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed...
