APRIL 7, 2ôô7
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Check out the new blog - Rev. Art's Atheist Pin-Ups!
PURPLE HEARTS BOOK - DEVASTATING!
JOHNNY HART - "B.C.", "WIZARD OF ID" CARTOONIST
UPDATE: ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) - Cartoonist Johnny Hart, whose award-winning "B.C." comic strip appeared in more than 1,300 newspapers worldwide, died saturday, April 7. He was 76. "He had a stroke," his wife, Bobby, said Sunday. "He died at his storyboard."
Hart met Brant Parker, a young cartoonist who became a prime influence and co-creator with Hart of the "Wizard of Id" comic strip. He won numerous awards for his work, including the National Cartoonist Society's prestigious Reuben Award twice for Cartoonist of the Year.
Later in his career, some of Hart's cartoons had religious themes, a reflection of his own Christian faith. That sometimes led to controversy. A strip published on Easter in 2001 drew protests from Jewish groups and led several newspapers to drop the strip. The cartoon depicted a menorah transforming into a cross, with accompanying text quoting some of Jesus Christ's dying words. Critics said it implied that Christianity supersedes Judaism. Hart said he intended the strip as a tribute to both faiths.
A spokesperson for the syndicate said "B.C." and "Wizard of Id" would continue.
Tony Scott (85) distinguished jazz clarinetist who in the '50s helped to
steer his instrument out of the swing era and into the sax-infested waters
of bebop. Over the years, Scott ranged through bebop and what today would be
called New Age and world music. He died of prostate cancer in Rome, Italy on
March 28, 2007.
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John Cameron Swayze would be 101. He was picked in 1949 to host NBC's first television newscast, the fifteen-minute Camel News Caravan. He read items from the news wires and periodically interviewed newsmakers, but he's remembered best for his two breezy catch-phrases: "Let's go hopscotching around the world for headlines," and his somewhat cartoonish sign-off: "That's the story, folks---glad we could get together." He was also a popular game show panelist and a long-time TIMEX pitchman ("Takes a lickin', keeps on tickin').
Muddy Waters (RN: McKinley Morganfield) (April 4, 1915 - April 30, 1983),
would be 92. He was an American blues musician and is generally considered
"the father of Chicago blues". He is also the actual father of blues musician Big Bill Morganfield. Muddy Waters is generally considered one of the greatest bluesmen of all time, and in 2004 he was ranked #17 in Rolling Stone Magazine's list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time.
Billie Holiday (RN: Eleanora Fagan )(April 7, 1915 - July 17, 1959) would be 92. "Lady Day" was an American singer known equally for her difficult life and her emotive, poignant singing voice. Holiday has long been considered one of the greatest jazz voices of all time, the touchstone for Dinah Washington, Dakota Staton, Little Esther and Etta James.
Gale Storm (RN:Josephine Owaissa Cottle) (85) is an American actress/singer. From 1952 to 1955, My Little Margie, co-starring former silent film actor Charles Farrell and originally a summer replacement for I Love Lucy, ran for 126 episodes and was immediately followed by The Gale Storm Show (aka Oh! Susanna), featuring another silent movie staple, ZaSu Pitts, that ran for 143 episodes between 1956 and 1960. Both programs later became local television station staples, shown countless times in reruns. Her first record, "I Hear You Knockin'" (a cover version of a rhythm and blues hit by Smiley Lewis, sold over a million copies. It was followed in 1957 by the haunting ballad of lost love, "Dark Moon" that went to No. 4 on the Billboard Hot 100. She also charted with Memories Are Made of This, a cover of Dean Martin's signature hit, and "Why do Fools Fall In Love", a cover of the Frankie Lymon hit.
Shecky Greene (RN: Sheldon Greenfield) (81) is a comedian known for his performances on The Ed Sullivan TV Show and as a nightclub headliner in Las Vegas for more than 30 years. He has appeared in several films, including History of the World, Part I and Splash, and has guest starred on such television shows as Mad About You, Laverne & Shirley, and Love, American
Style.
Country-folk singer-songwriter (Robert Joseph) Bobby Bare (72) was born in Ironton, Ohio). His first hit in 1960 was the novelty tune "All-American Boy" recorded in a Dayton deejay's basement while he was fronting a band at The 6305, (a biker bar where Da Rev played with The Underdogs in the late '60s). Bobby had a slew of hits - Detroit City, Come sundown, Please Don't Tell Me How The Story Ends, That's How I Got to Memphis, Marie LeVeau, more. He later took chances, recording strange, controversial material as "Dropkick Me Jesus (Through The Goalposts Of Life)" (a 1976 Grammy nominee) and the expletive-driven "Redneck Hippie Romance" with much success.
Merle Ronald Haggard (70) is an American country music singer, guitarist and songwriter. Emerging from prison in the 1960s, The Okie from Muscogee (Okla) was one of the early innovators of the Bakersfield Sound. By the 1970s, he was aligned with the growing outlaw country movement, and has continued to release successful albums through the 1990s and into the 2000s. His work in familiar country themes - jail, betrayal, drinking and wandering - include a directness that reflects his own life experience. His deep, grumbling voice and his guitar work gives his country a blues-like quality in many cuts.
Keep in mind what Jesus promised:
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. [Matthew
21:21]
If you ask anything in my name, I will do it. [John 14:14]
Ask, and it will be given you. [Matthew 7:7]
Nothing will be impossible to you. [Matthew 17:20]
Believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. [Mark 11:24]
There is no indication from Jesus that amputees will be ignored when they pray for medical help. The fact is, all five of these statements are completely false in the case of amputees. No matter how many people pray, no matter how often they pray, no matter how sincere they are, no matter how much they believe, no matter how deserving the amputee, what we know is that prayers do not inspire God to regenerate amputated legs. This happens despite what Jesus promises us in Matthew 21:21, John 14:14, Mark 11:24,
etc. ["Why God Won't Heal Amputees"]
"People go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern: to stupefy themselves, to forget their misery, to imagine themselves, for a few minutes anyway, free and happy."
[Mikhail Bakunin]
"Just as the right to speak and the right to refrain from speaking are complementary components of a broader concept of individual freedom of mind, so also the individual's freedom to choose his own creed is the counterpart of his right to refrain from accepting the creed established by the majority." [SCOTUS Justice John Paul Stevens]
"One man's religion is another man's belly laugh." [Robert A. Heinlein]
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Welcome to our humble abode in Metro Fairborn, where old hunters never die. Technically, we just stay loaded.
All proceeds from this week's STAND-UP are going to fund important research into a rare but devastating malady, "Sneezing Veins"!
(Are we live or on tape?)
Thanks t' Wonkette: Happy Easter, everybody! This is the time of year when Our Christian Nation celebrates the execution of the Middle Eastern insurgent Jesus Al Christ with an ancient pagan fertility festival named for the goddess Eostre.
The two most precious Christian symbols of this holiest of weekends are the
bunny rabbit - because all it does is fuck and eat - and the painted egg,
which reminds us of where all that sperm is headed. President Bush honors
our national paganism each spring with a symbolic "egg hunt" in which
children (the eventual product all that human sperm) run about the lawn
looking for eggs or Barney's poops.
"Everyone who wants in the picture gather on this side of the table!"
"MY SWEET LORD!" The Roger Smith Hotel in New York exhibited a life-size Chocolate Jesus in
its art gallery on Sunday. The story made headlines. When Mel Gibson heard
about the exhibit he drove immediately to the nearest Starbucks and ordered
a whipped chocolate.
Click here for a yummy bunny stew, a Blessed Easter Card, more!
HEY! What do you call the savior of social outcasts?
The pariah messiah!!
Our entertainment today is the ALL-MIDGET FIDDLE ORCHESTRA OF ASHTABULA - WE
GOT 'EM FOR HALF-PRICE!
T'day over at the buffet we're servin' your favorite antebellum foods - Mrs.
Butterworth`s Syrup, Uncle Ben`s Converted Rice, Aunt Jemima`s Pancakes, and, Shut My Mouf, black-eyed peas. So sorry, the sorghum's rancid.
Tigress Xinta is seen with one of her cubs at the Hongshan Forest Zoo in Nanjing, Jiangsu province April 5, 2007. The eight-year-old tigress has given birth to 27 cubs since 2001, Xinhua News Agency reported. (Photo by Sean Yong)
I know some o' the assembled here are Rethuglickins. That's OK, I think you should remain anonymous. I'd just like to say that if you think picking on a mother with terminal cancer is funny - you are the BIG PUSSY!
Are we THERE yet?
Half a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Monkeys, midgets and bathroom humor are the undisputed triumvirate of man humor, but why isn't there a cable channel for it yet?
CHEESES! So far our 16-year-old kitty Sylvia has dodged the
melamine-contaminated gluten bullet! Y' know it's tricky goin' through a
list of 468 cat food brands to try to find something' that's safe to feed
her. I keep telling' 'er - Sylvie, you're lucky you have us to do this for you - so far.
I'll be glad when they get this pet food thing cleared up - I haven't had any Tender Vittles for lunch for almost a month!
I'm very observant when I open any processed foods lately - I found a digital watch in a box of Velveeta. No, I didn't report it.
NEW EVERY DAY - 'TOONS FROM gaping void - 1/2 way down the left sidebar...
Even chubbed-up and bald I would still SO do Britney.
A study shows more workplace stress than ever before. Hey, tell me about it.
When I worked at a radio station the boss lady had a nervous breakdown -
which wasn't so bad with the background music and all.
All right, you degenerates! Da Pagan Baby want this place evacuated in 20 seconds!
(Click on any image to ENLARGE it) "Yes I am" replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?" The drunk replies, "No, I haven't." 
DOUG FEITH - THE DUMBEST FUCKING GUY ON THE PLANET!
OMEN: DAMIEN. uh-uh. DICK II
We have it on good authority that the Veep's future grandson will be named
Richard, as he is actually the successful result of a terrifying Boys From
Brazil-esque cloning project.
He will be Dick Cheney in every way but one: he shall be even more powerful. Mary Cheney was merely a convenient host for the Vice President's terrifying embryonic double.
There's growing evidence that American Idol sensation Sanjaya Malakar and
Decision 2008 sensation Barry Hussein Obama are the same person. If it's not
obvious that "Sanjaya" (right) is the same dude as Obama (left), here are
some other striking similarities:
Both are accused of being all style and no substance.
Both are far better looking than normal Americans and the normal fugly
contestants in their respective fields.
Both are "really cute kid[s] with a unique look and an incredibly dreamy
smile that can get thirty 12-year old girls to vote a million times apiece
on speed dial."
Both are competing in a "silly, fun, really well-produced talent competition
and you never quite know what's going to happen."
Both will end up outrageously rich, whether they win the talent show or not.
Mitt Romney's cult is just naturally good at raising money, knocking on
doors in short sleeved dress shirts.
Comedian Argus Hamilton
Hillary Clinton led all Democrats in first-quarter fundraising Monday.
However, John Edwards leads the polls in Iowa and is surging in New Hampshire. Meanwhile, Barack Obama found another slave owner in his family tree and surged five points in South Carolina.
The U.S. Senate passed a war funding bill last week that includes a timeline
to exit Iraq exactly one year from now. The president says what the Democrats are doing would cause chaos in Iraq. Under the doctrine of separation of powers, that's his job.
Tony Blair announced the release Wednesday of the fifteen British sailors
seized by Iran. The crisis with Iran was settled without a shot being fired or a war declared. President Bush is beginning to wonder if anything is ever going to go right.
Heathrow Airport in London erupted in cheers Thursday when the fifteen British sailors landed in a British Airways flight from Iran. They were flown home business class. It's a courtesy given by the airline to everyone who works for the oil industry.
Prime Minister Tony Blair welcomed home fifteen British sailors Thursday
after two weeks of captivity in Iran. It's a miracle. They were released after Britain and Iran engaged in diplomacy, or as it is known in the Bush
Administration, women's work.
Jake Novak's Blogspot
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says she raised the issue of Saudi Arabia's lack
of women at the highest levels of the Saudi government. King Abdullah responded by offering Pelosi the option of becoming one of his wives.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says she raised the issue of Saudi Arabia's lack
of female politicians with Saudi government officials on the last stop of
her Mideast tour. The Saudis responded that they'll get right on that, as soon as they're finished killing everyone who isn't a Muslim.
President Bush flew Wednesday to Fort Irwin, located halfway between Los
Angeles and Las Vegas. It's geographically the ideal place for any president to recruit White House aides. One town is where nobody tells the truth, and the other town is where nobody talks at all.
The White House gave John Kerry's campaign nemesis Sam Fox, who funded the
Swift Boat Veterans, a recess appointment to Belgium on Wednesday. Nothing
ever changes. John Kerry insisted he was for the appointment before he was against the appointment.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi visited a mosque in Syria in Saudi Arabia and wore a headscarf to show her respect. She was shown a lot of respect herself. In the Arab world, whoever is third in line to the throne is usually the chief
suspect in the assassination.
Rudy Giuliani said last week his wife Judi would be welcome to attend his
cabinet meetings. She won't let him out of her sight. By now everyone in
America knows that Rudy Giuliani met his third wife while cheating on his first wife with his second wife.
Jake Novak's Blogspot
Florida 3-Peat?
Florida has repeated as the NCAA men's basketball champ, and it could win
three in a row next season since none of its stars are graduating this year.
Actually, no Florida basketball stars have graduated since 1964.
MORE from Argus:
Florida beat Ohio State to capture the NCAA men's basketball championship
Monday in Atlanta. Three months ago, Florida beat Ohio State to win the
college football title. These two states have a long rivalry in football,
basketball and election fraud.
The Masters began Thursday at Augusta National Golf Club. This week the
rough was allowed to grow to a new record height and the greens are mowed so low you can't stop a putt. The Mexicans have joined the Iranians in taking the Anglo-Saxons hostage.
Purina recalled Alpo and Del Monte recalled Gravy Train last week as the tainted pet food crisis spread. Some of the safety warnings aren't credible. John McCain said that whatever you feed your dog, you'd be perfectly safe
walking him in Baghdad.
The Radio and Television Correspondents dinner was held last week in Washington D.C. It's a chance for the bigwigs to mingle. After the first round of drinks the president of CBS News went up to Alberto Gonzales and
asked him to fire Katie Couric.
ONE OF THE BABES OF "GRINDHOUSE" - CARLA GUGINO IN QUENTIN TARENTINO-ROBERT RODRIGEZ HOMAGE TO EXPLOITATION THRILLERS - Opened this weekend!
Let's start with a joke that is older than I am -
Just inside the gates of heaven, St. Peter sits at a desk checking people
in.
Peter: "Welcome to heaven. What religion?"
The man at the front of the line says, "Lutheran."
Glancing at his clipboard, Peter says, "Room 33. Be very quiet as you pass
room 6."
The process repeats itself with the next person in line:
Peter: "Welcome to heaven. What religion?"
Person #2: "Catholic."
Peter: "Room 17. Be very quiet as you pass room 6."
The next person moves to the front of the line with a look of curiosity on
her face.
Peter: "Welcome to heaven. What religion?"
Person #3: "Methodist."
Peter: "Room 54. Be very quiet as you pass room 6."
Person #3: "Why do you keep telling us to be quiet as we pass room 6?"
Peter: "Because the Baptists are in room 6, and they think they're the only ones here."
STRONG WOMAN COPERTINA
Al Gore and Bill and Hillary Clinton go to heaven, and God addresses Al
first. ''Al, what do you believe in?''
Al replies: "Well, I believe that I won that election, but that it was your
will that I did not serve. And I've come to understand that now.''
God thinks for a second and says: "Very good. Come and sit at my left.''
God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?''
Bill Replies: "I believe in forgiveness. I've sinned, but I've never held a
grudge against my fellow man, and I hope no grudges are held against me.''
God thinks for a second and says: "You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at
my right.''
Then God addresses Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe in?''
She replies: "I believe you're in my fucking chair.''
RIPPING - KATHY JOHANNSON
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is
almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you
ready to find Jesus?"
river.
The preacher, shocked at the answer,
dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him
out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"
The drunk again answers, "No, I have not found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the
water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds. When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up.
The preacher asks the drunk again, "For the love of God, have you found
Jesus?"
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,
"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
ROSELYN SANCHEZ - "Without A Trace"
The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how
little you think of his evil!"
The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his advice. Still the dying man said nothing.
The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"
The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to piss anybody off!!"
How are some women like tornado's ?
They first come at you wet and wild and then in the end take your house and ever'thin' y'got!
Dennis once dated a girl who was a magician. Every time she put her hand on
his leg he turned into a motel.
Da Pagan baby bought satin sheets for our anniversary, and I didn't get a
wink of sleep... I kept slidin' outta bed all night! 
MOVIE STAR VIRGINIA PATTON
Good fortune. COMMENT!! Please spread the meme. Don't smoke in bed...
