August 4, 2ôô7
Must see/read: Infrastructure is patriotic 
Continual Minneapolis Bridge Collapse Updates HERE
(Photo) Tommy Makem (L), with Liam Clancy
Tommy Makem (75) was an internationally celebrated folk musician, artist, poet and storyteller from Ireland, best known as a member of The Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem. He played the long necked 5 string banjo, guitar, tin whistle, and border pipes, and sang in a distinctive baritone. He was sometimes known as "The Bard of Armagh" (taken from a traditional song of the same name) and "The Godfather of Irish Music". Makem died following a lengthy battle with lung cancer at his home in Dover, New Hampshire. He continued to record and perform until very close to the end. Paying tribute to him after his death, Liam Clancy said, "he was my brother in every way". His sons Shane, Conor, and Rory ("The Makem Brothers") and nephew Tom Sweeney continue the family folk music tradition. Wikipedia
(When Tommy appeared in recent years at the Dublin (Ohio) Celtic Festival he was usually accompanied by Rory.)
Ingmar Bergman, 89, Swedish stage and film director (The Seventh Seal, Wild Strawberries, Fanny and Alexander).
Martin Sheen (67) is an Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winning American actor. He is perhaps best known for his role as Captain Willard in the film Apocalypse Now and, most recently, as President Josiah Bartlet on the acclaimed and long-running television drama series The West Wing. His four kids are all actors, Emilio Estévez, Ramón Luis Estévez, Charlie Sheen and Renée Estévez.
Sheen was born Ramón Gerardo Antonio Estévez in Dayton, Ohio to Francisco Estévez, a Galician factory worker/machinery inspector from Parderrubias, Galicia, Spain, and Mary Anne (Phelan), an immigrant from County Tipperary, Ireland. Sheen's mother fled from Ireland during the Irish War of Independence due to her family's IRA connections. Sheen adopted his stage name in honor of Catholic archbishop and theologian Fulton J. Sheen. Sheen lived on Brown Street in the South Park neighborhood, and was one of 10 siblings (9 boys and one girl). He attended Chaminade High School (now Chaminade-Julienne High School). He was raised as a Roman Catholic.
Wikipedia
(Da Rev remembers seeing Ramon, who was two years ahead, bouncing through the halls of Chaminade. He immediately reminded people of James Dean, partly due to his appearance and haircut, but more due to his posture and attitude.) 
"My goal is to cut government in half… to get it down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub…" [Grover Norquist’s Future Epitaph]
"Jesus himself could come back as a Republican candidate these days,
and there would still be some people saying, 'I don't know about that guy'."
[SC Gov. Mark Sanford (R), comparing today's Fascist dogs with the biblical protagonist]
"I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and changed the bulb. When I got off the bed he said: 'That's the best acting you've ever done.'" [Actor Elliot Gould]
"Ethanol Hurts the Environment And Is One of America's Biggest Political Boondoggles!"
Ethanol Scam [Rolling Stone mag]
“It is the considered opinion of many that the JFK Cabinet was an assemblage of the "Best & the Brightest" of that day and time. It is my considered opinon that the Bush Administration has demonstrated over and over that they are the WORST & the DUMBEST!” [Rev. Art - A Blogger for Hillary]
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WELL HOWDY, REV’LERS!
I’m Rev. Art. Welcome to our crib in Metro Fairborn and THE STAND-UP! - It’s like Rachel Carson without the diseased African babies…
(Peanuts, as envisioned by Charles Bukowski)
As a retired eccentric, of course, I don’t DO Mondays. Come to think of it - when I was working, I didn’t do MUCH on Mondays…
Y’ hear they’re predictin’ a recession for 2008? As usual Da Pagan baby & I are way ahead o’ the curve…
PLEASE - join Da Rev & Da Pagan Baby in contributing to an all out effort to eradicate a horrific malady brought to our attention by Charlie and Karen - I hope we can count on a check from everyone here this weekend for $500. or more for continuing research into (eek!) Ancient Sweating, Vomiting Cat Gout!
Discrimination in the workplace… no longer a problem, you may say? HAH! I’m here to tell ya - those “hiring professionals” don’t judge a person by the color of their skin - they judge them by how fat they are!
There’s a study that says obesity is contagious. So THAT’s it! All my friends are carriers! Well, it takes a big man to admit he’s obese…
(At Barnes-Nobles Stores we don't have to slog through the Comparative Religion section these days... Atheism SELLS; Atheists are being developed as a marketing demographic. Thank you Doc Dawkins and Sam Harris!)
A study shows California has the most traffic jams. In the same study: Florida has the most old people. Texas has the most cowboys. Ohio has the most retired eccentrics blogging naked.
Dick says he’s found a great new product for folks like him who live in Florida. It’s “Lee Press-On Mosquitoes”. He swears you just stick a few Lee’s Press-On Mosquitoes on your face and the real mosquitoes think you've been sucked dry and leave you alone.
Dick went back to school - in Italy - yeah, at a famous school for mimes. YUP! People from all over the world learn how to be street mimes. Dick said the graduation ceremony was pretty traditional. The school president pretended to give him a diploma.
How’s this for a subject for the poets - God's boredom after the seventh day of creation?!
Jenny’s vocabulary is still as bad as, like, whatever. 
Given the choice - without a urinal or the chance of getting caught, a guy would much rather pee in the sink. I guarantee you that somebody has peed in your sink at one time or another. There is a good chance it was me. 
Patrick’s here today. He’s an illusionist. He’s come a long way since he started out doin’ card tricks on the old D. L. Stewart Talk Show on WHIO-AM.
And D. L. - he was clueless about radio, being a newspaper columnist - D. L. tried to introduce a “Scratch & Sniff” segment on the radio!
Speaking of radio - young listeners today wouldn’t know what to make of some of the things that were said on the radio 40-50 years ago when Da Rev was a young rocker - like “record”. And what’s on the “flip side”? (“Take it from Charlie Nighthawk, this side outsold the other side - 2 to 1!!”)
These days there IS no “flip side” - and the records are called “product”… ~~~ snooze ~~~ 
I have a question for those drunken astronauts - does Alka Seltzer fizz in zero-gravity?
Cheeses! I get this image of the captain half in his cups, red-faced, belching fumes, eyes wide shut and blabbin’ away into his cellphone! 
(Elton-Cat)
Did you see where Elton John thinks the internet should be banned? I have a better idea - why not ban has-been queen rock stars in clown glasses and fright wigs? Elton needs a cup o’ STFU - seriously!
I guess the most trusting person in the world must be…
A cannibal getting’ a blow job.
Our speaker this week is Joe Bagadonitz who also helped Ezio Pizza cater the buffet. I’ll present Joe by briefly assuring you that he speaks with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at college commencements and blog parties about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it...
Here’s your video - The GREAT composer-singer-pianist Fats Waller “Ain’t Misbehavin’ ”… Wild band and a terrific dancer, too.
I-I-I- 
Hold on! We're slidin' into Politics & Sex!!
Disclaimer: A couple of weeks ago I did a satiric bit about Bush doin’ his own colonoscopy. Well - I got a slap-down in the form of a threatening letter from Cheney’s office. I was JUST KIDDING!
Actually - The colonoscopy was performed by a U.S. Navy doctor. Uhhhmm… I’m just guessin’ here - the doc was a REAR Admiral?!
Holy Dog Crap! First the horrific Michael Vick dog abuse allegations - and now Vin Rhames's dog has killed his yard man! They ran it as “breaking” during the 24/7 “bridge mix” on MSNBC Friday. (Two mastiffs at the home of Ving Rhames apparently mauled a 40-year-old man to death Friday, authorities said. The guy had worked at the actor’s home for a couple of years…)
I think I'm too old for a large and/or aggressive dog. And I'm still too male to want one of those little yappy Yorkie things - or - as Michael Vick calls them - BAIT!
(Billow)
Lowe's pulls advertising from Orally show
by kos Fri Jul 27, 2007
A reader emailed Lowe's about their ads on Bill Orally's show. They got this response:
Dear Lowe's Customer,
Thank you for your comments regarding the program, The O'Reilly Factor.
Lowe's has strict guidelines that govern the placement of our advertising. Our company advertises primarily in national, network prime-time television programs and on a variety of cable outlets.
Lowe's constantly reviews advertising buys to make certain they are consistent with its policy guidelines. The O'Reilly Factor does not meet Lowe's advertising guidelines, and the company's advertising will no longer appear during the program.
We are dedicated to providing the best service, products, and shopping environment in the home improvement industry. All three of these are very important to our business, and our customers will always be our number one priority.
We appreciate your contacting us, and hope this information addresses your concerns.
Thank you,
Lowe's Customer Care
(Home Depot’s response on the other hand was condescending and dismissive. Lowe’s consistently provides a better price/quality ratio than Home Depot, both of whom have stores in Fairborn/Beavercreek. Now we have one more reason to purchase home improvement supplies at Lowe’s.)
Jake Novak's Humor Blog
Rice in West Bank
During her meeting with Mahmoud Abbas this week, Secretary of State Kindasleezza Rice pledged $80 million in aid to the Palestinian government. In return for her pledge, Rice will get the "Palestinian Terror Attack Greatest Hits" DVD collection and an exploding tote bag.
Comedian Argus Hamilton
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama feuded over whether they would meet with sworn enemies like Cuba and North Korea. Many advanced nations refuse to meet with dangerous world leaders. Dick Cheney doesn't even get invited to funerals anymore. 
Sunni Arabs pulled out of the Iraqi coalition government of Shiites, Kurds and Sunnis on. The Sunnis have no oil fields in their region but they're the only tribe who will fight al-Qaeda. Dick Cheney told the president we don't need them. 
President Bush gave a speech in Charleston last week to try to rally Iraq war support. During the speech he mentioned al-Qaeda ninety-seven times. It's pretty much accepted by now that America's number-one weapon against terrorism is repetition. 
Mitt Romney told Iowa voters Thursday he may give a speech explaining the Mormon faith. Their timeline is a little off. Mormons believe that Jesus walked the earth in the United States, one hundred eighty years before President Bush was even elected. 
Cuban leader Raul Castro gave a speech Thursday offering to normalize relations with America after President Bush leaves office. There's no reason why the two countries shouldn't get along. They have a sugar crop and we have an obesity epidemic.
Vanity Fair ran a nasty article on Rudy Giuliani's wife Judi. His first wife was his cousin, his second wife was a TV news anchor and his third wife is a princess bride. He refuses to concede the comedians' vote to Hillary without a fight.
Hillary Clinton's college friend John Peavoy released personal letters she wrote him forty years ago revealing her insecurities and ambition. He's now an English teacher. He's the first English teacher ever to teach someone never to put anything in writing. 
The White House announced a twenty-billion-dollar arms deal with Saudi Arabia on Monday. The deal includes fighters and bombers and missiles and drones. That's nothing compared to the anti-aircraft missiles we're selling Israel to shoot them down. 
Senator Ted Stevens's home in Anchorage was raided by FBI agents Monday. It was over a cash-for-favors scam he ran with an oil company in Alaska. There are so few women up there that after a while, men simply give up and start screwing the taxpayers. 
Hillary Clinton said she's going to ask a new generation of Americans to serve our country. It's a repeat of JFK's clarion call to the baby boomers. Her husband was also greatly influenced by Jack Kennedy, and she nearly left him over it. 
More from Jake...
R. Kelly Trial Date Set
Grammy Award-winning singer R. Kelly will go on trial September 17 on child pornography charges. Kelly is demanding to be tried by a jury of his peers, but the only true peer they can find is Michael Jackson.
More from Argus...
Cal Ripken Jr. was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown this past weekend. He was inducted for his streak that may never be broken. He's ducked the Barry Bonds steroid question two thousand six hundred and forty consecutive times. 
The Space Shuttle Endeavour will lift off at Cape Canaveral Tuesday if the crew is given the go-ahead. Flight engineers are concerned about a leaky valve. During the last flight, the astronauts had to jettison fuel in order to take on more bourbon.
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GODIVA... mmm CHOCOLATE...
FOR THE LADIES:
WOODY'S KID - ARLO - RECENTLY TURNED 60
Darrell goes to the doctor. The physician tells him, “I have good news and bad news.”
“Gimme the good news first.”
“OK. You're gonna be famous. They’re gonna name a terrible disease after you!”
Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
YOU MIGHT BE A HIGH-TECH REDNECK… IF:
You post squirrel recipes on a website.
You write to Hewlett-Packard to sponsor a NASCAR team.
You have a cellphone headset for your fishing boat.
You paid more for your computer than you did for your house.
Your windows wallpaper is the confederate flag.
Your ringtone is a Toby Keith song.
You modified your gunrack to hold a rifle AND your laptop.
You've ever called Graceland to tell them their webcam was down.
You have your monster truck magazine collection on CD-ROM.
Your ISP's office is on a gravel road.
You've ever painted a URL on an overpass.
Bear walks into a bar… }}}GRROWWFF!{{{
He asks the bartender, “Please bring me a double shot of Dewar’s and… water by.”
The bartender says, “Sure, Buddy - but why the long pause?”
“I’ve had ‘em all my life.”
Lem: “I heard on TV that way back the US & A had a Civil War?!”
Em: “No kiddin’? Who’d they fight?”
A few moments of Zen: (this is cool...)
There was once a stone cutter who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life. One day he passed a wealthy merchant's house. Through the open gateway, he saw many fine possessions and important visitors. "How powerful that merchant must be!" thought the stone cutter.
He became very envious and wished that he could be like the merchant.
To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever imagined, but envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. Soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. "How powerful that official is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a high official!"
Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around. It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. "How powerful the sun is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the sun!"
Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. "How powerful that storm cloud is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a cloud!"
Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. "How powerful it is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the wind!"
Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, feared and hated by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it - a huge, towering rock. "How powerful that rock is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a rock!"
Then he became the rock, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the hard surface, and felt himself being changed. "What could be more powerful than I, the rock?" he thought.
He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stone cutter.
Ommmmm...
DON'T LET PAT TILLMAN'S KILLING BE COVERED UP!
Good fortune. COMMENT! Please spread the meme.
(Winding down from Delbert Mcclinton to Sweet Etta James... "At Last...")
Don’t smoke in bed…
