September 22, 2ôô7
BLOGGING FOR HILLARY
Best-selling author John Grisham is taking his first major public step in presidential politics by planning to host an event Sunday near his home in Charlottesville, Va., for New York Sen. Hillary Clinton
Serena Jameka Williams, (26) is an American former World No. 1 ranked female tennis player who has won eight Grand Slam singles titles and an Olympic gold medal in women's doubles. She is the last player, male or female, to have held all four Grand Slams at the same time. In 2005, Tennis magazine ranked her as the 17th-best player of the preceding forty years. She is the younger sister of another former world no. 1 professional female tennis player, Venus Williams. Wikipedia
A Jehovah's Witness, she doesn't believe in sex before marriage, and refuses to date a man unless she can see a serious future with him. Ask Men
VIDEO: Serena In “Wee Tell” (funny!)
VIDEO: Paper Doll Serena (sexy!)
Rev. Rex Humbard (88) former itinerant preacher whose televangelism ministry once reached more parts of the globe than any other religious program. Humbard realized the potential of the new medium of TV in the early '50s and became known to millions by the '70s.
He began with a renovated theater and eventually built the $4 million domed, 5,000-seat nondenominational Cathedral of Tomorrow, which included velvet drapes, a hydraulic stage, and a cross covered with thousands of red, white, and blue light bulbs. But financial overreaching eventually eroded his organization. He died near Lantana, Florida on September 21, 2007. Life In Legacy 
Alice Ghostley (81) Tony-winning actress best known on TV for playing Esmeralda on Bewitched and Bernice on Designing Women. Ghostley made her Broadway debut in Leonard Sillman's New Faces of 1952, a landmark revue that also showcased the then-unknown talents of Paul Lynde, Charlotte Rae, Eartha Kitt, and Carol Lawrence, among several others. Ghostley won her Tony as best featured actress in The Sign in Sidney Brustein's Window (1964). Her film credits include To Kill a Mockingbird, The Graduate, and Grease. She died after a long battle with colon cancer and a series of strokes, in Studio City, California on September 21, 2007.
Life In Legacy
Marcel Marceau (84) world's best-known mime artist who for decades moved audiences around the world. Wearing white face paint, soft shoes, and a battered hat topped with a red flower, the world-famous Marceau played the entire range of human emotions onstage for more than 50 years, never speaking a word. Offstage, he was famously chatty. The Frenchman's extensive tours and appearances on camera brought his silent art to people across the globe. His comic and tragic sketches appealed on a universal level, with each audience interpreting his performance in its own way. A French Jew, Marceau survived the Holocaust—and worked with the French Resistance to protect Jewish children. His biggest inspiration was Charlie Chaplin. In turn, Marceau inspired countless young performers—Michael Jackson borrowed his famous "moonwalk" from a Marceau sketch, "Walking Against the Wind." Marceau died in Paris, France on September 22, 2007. Life In Legacy
"Whitney Houston no longer believes that children are our future." [Andrew Levy]
“If (O. J.) owns that shit - you must acquit.” [Jim Treacher]
How about them NAZIs?
"Ok, don't get me wrong. I mean, don't even go there. I am not ok with the Holocaust. But, they cured gangrene." [Student in an American University classroom]
“Rep. (Ron) Paul believes, correctly, that the Bible is the infallible, inerrant word of God and thus it is not the role of God-ordained civil government, at any level, to feed, house, clothe or educate anybody.” [Michael Anthony Peroutka, 2004 Constitution Party Presidential Candidate]
“See? If people needed food or health care or education or whatevs, God would … uhh … God would have told the “civil government” to do so, in the Bible.” [Wonkette]
“Soylent Green is Poor People!” [Republican Congressman Ron Paul]
“This is clearly going to be the high point of this guy’s life (Florida Taser-boy). I can’t wait until he’s old, he’s got long hair, a long white beard, probably drooling, and he’ll tell everyone, Remember that day I got Tasered? That was me!” [Humorist Dave Barry]
“People say a lot of things about me, so I really don't pay any attention to it… It's not true, but it is something that I have no control over. People will say what they want to say.”
[Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) replying to the question, “How do you respond to the occasional rumor that you're a lesbian?” - in The Advocate]
“Hillary’s no Kindasleazza Rice…” [Rev. Art]
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WELL HOWDY, REV’LERS!
I’m Rev. Art. Welcome to our crib in Metro Fairborn and THE STAND-UP! - Its like being Tased, but with more involuntary spastic movements.
Please remember - you are guests in our home. Please don’t dispose of sanitary napkins in the toilets. And it should go without saying - no UNSANITARY napkins either!
Here in Metro Fairborn, the 911 Dispatchers must be patient. A couple of recent calls…
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
PLEASE - join Da Rev & Da Pagan Baby in contributing to an all out effort to eradicate a horrific malady brought to our attention by Bill & Hillary. I hope we can count on a check from everyone here this weekend for $500. or more for continuing research into “Mummy‘s Horror Pestilence & Shadow Fits”!
After all these years, I still get all shivery and clammy when I dangle a participle. As I grow older, it hurts, too.
Don’t all Americans know that if you speak English slow enough and loud enough, everybody can understand it. There's no need to learn different languages...
I’m a skeptic, so I don’t know whether to believe Beth. She swears that she can predict how harsh the coming winter will be, just by measuring the thickness of the Old Farmer's Almanac! Thanx t’ www.tomslake.com
Who has it tougher - Jews observing Yom Kippur or Muslims observing Ramadan?
Yes, both require fasting. What about Lent? I guess it’s “chopped liver” - with a few exceptions… POLL RESULTS
Wednesday was “Talk like a a pirate day. Everybody starts their sentences with, “ARRRGH…” - which reminds me - what was Captain Hook’s name before… you know, the ‘er, accident?
Dolphin baby Dolly swims with her mother Delphi in the Delphinarium at the zoo in Duisburg, Germany, Thursday, Sept. 20, 2007. The little new dolphin was born on Aug. 4 and was shown Thursday for the first time. Her mother was also born in Duisburg 15 years ago.
[Photo by Martin Meissner]
Mike suffered an erection of more than four hours after taking Cialis last weekend. The standard emergency room procedure - showing the patient this photo - worked immediately. Unfortunately, they released him too soon following the procedure and he rushed home and washed his eyes out with bleach!
Has anyone besides me wondered if and how that badge is affixed to her man-thingy?
WOW!! My first blog was on an Etch-A-Sketch. THIS guy really is an etch-a-sketch ARTISTE! 
An expert says the internal combustion is doomed and will only last another 20 years at most. Here's my question: How many arms and legs did the guy who invented the EXTERNAL combustion engine lose before he decided to go with the internal idea?? Thanx t’ www.tomslake.com
REBECCA ROMJIN @ THE EMMYS
Look closely - WTF is that white residue on her tongue? Hmmm?
This is true - Scientists announced an interesting experiment. A male and female salmon gave birth to a trout! And this just in: SpongeBob Squarepants discovered both his parents were scallops. Thanx t’ www.tomslake.com
“AH DOESN’T BELIEVE IN NO EEVILUSHON!”
Here’s the VIDEO of Sherri Shepherd making an ass (a really BIG ASS) of herself on “The View” this week. Did Sherri, who must be famous for something, miss Geography class?
I-I-I-
Does your precious General Betrayus have any shrapnel in his ass like John Kerry does? 
On every news channel it’s nothing’ but O. J., 24/7. I saw Mark Fuhrman making the interview circuit this week. He looks fit and handsome, more so than even before. Ahhh, take THAT, O. J., and try to get it through your big, giant head. Keeping one’s looks may be the best revenge!
Andrew Meyer will be famous for 15 minutes or less. He’s a “Jack Ass” wanna be who records public pranks and posts them on his website. During Monday's forum at U of FL, Gainesville, Meyer came to the microphone to question John Kerry, the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee from Massachusetts.
"You will take my question because I have been listening to your crap for two hours," Meyer told Kerry, according to the police report of the incident.
He then turned to a woman and said "Are you taping this? Do you have this? You ready?" the report said.
Clarissa Jessup, who contributed I-Report video of the incident to CNN, said Meyer gave her his camera and asked her to shoot video of him posing his questions to Kerry. 
Unfortunately, a couple of campus cops may get canned for doing the only thing left to them after Meyer repeatedly resisted, lurched and tried to break away, screaming at the top of his lungs the whole time.
I loved the little girl squealing thing he did when they initiated the “drive stun mode” on him - again, bleating loud and over the top. If he goes to jail it might be "Don't toss my salad me, bro!"
And “Bubba” will respond, “All your tase, are belong to us, Bro.”
Prior to this week’s incident, Mr. Meyer had only experienced tasing in the bathtub when his Uncle Russ featured him in some special home movies.
The thing I haven’t seen mentioned is that while all this turmoil was goin’ on, from the stage I could discern that old, familiar, carefully measured dro-o-o-o-o-one…
The Daily Gut
Pope Benedict was reported Wednesday to have refused to meet with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during her trip to the Mideast last month. This is far from over. If the pope does not want to hear her confession, the Globe tabloid is all ears. 
She’s as beautiful as Bill Clinton and Michelle Obama together (don’t start THAT rumor!) And her husband is the ONLY candidate proposing a workable single-payer healthcare plan! And he loves her so - just watch Dennis as he watches Elizabeth speak: VIDEO
Laugh Fish
Jake Novak's Humor Blog
Jackson vs. Obama
Jesse Jackson is blasting Senator Barack Obama for "pretending to be white," while Obama is blasting Jackson for pretending that anyone gives a damn what he says anymore. 
France on Iran
France is warning that the West may need to go to war with Iran if it develops nuclear weapons, refuses democratic reforms, and continues to serve lamb without red wine.
"Old Tin Knickers" endorses Benito for U.S. Dictator.
Most Shocking Revelations in Alan Greenspan's New Book
=>From the days of Gerald Ford all the way to George W. Bush, he never washed his hands when using the White House bathroom.
=>"Irrational Exuberance" is actually a phrase Andrea Mitchell coined the last time he used Viagra.
Pakistani Military Dictator General Musharraf Undressed!
Comedian Argus Hamilton
John McLame told South Carolinians last Sunday he's a Baptist even though he's been an Episcopalian all his life. Everyone has free will. If John McCain would rather spend eternity singing hymns than playing golf he's certainly made the right decision. 
John McLame announced he's a Southern Baptist after identifying himself as an Episcopalian all his life. His conversion was heroic. They dunked him in the baptism tank three times and he would only give them his name, rank and serial number. 
CONAN: Dan Rather announced yesterday he is suing CBS for $70 million for damaging his career. After hearing this, Katie Couric said, “Then I’m suing CBS for $700 million.”
MORE Argus
Beatles producer Phil Spector got good news in his murder trial in Los Angeles on Tuesday. His jury deadlocked seven to five. Seven jurors thought he should get the death penalty and five jurors thought the death of AM radio was punishment enough.
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FOR THE LADIES
The following are actual snippets of conversation overheard @ Eavesdrop DC
I believe the word you are looking for is "si."
Flight attendant: "Gentlemen, you are seated in an emergency exit row. I'm going to need you to read over this information about your responsibilities in the event of an evacuation. I need a vocal response from each of you that you speak English and you are comfortable with these responsibilities."
White Dude 1: "Yes."
Black Dude 1: "Yes."
White Dude 2: "Yes."
White Dude 3: "Yes."
White Dude 4: "Hola."
Reagan National, on a flight to New Orleans
Have you heard that one about the nun and seatless bike and the orgasm? Me neither.
Blonde girl to her equally blonde friend: "Ohmigod! Like, how do you ride that bike?? It like, doesn't even have a SEAT!!"-pointing to a bike locked to a bike rack on the GW campus.
Don't you mean Constantinople?
[Inside FedEx/Kinko's. Two Turkish dudes are dropping
off a FedEx package, having already filled out the
shipping label. Non-Turkish woman is working behind
the counter.]
Turkish dude: I need to send this package overseas.
Non-Turkish woman: Where is it going?
Turkish dude: Istanbul.
[Non-Turkish woman looks at the label.]
Non-Turkish woman: Can you spell that?
Turkish dude: I-S-T-A-N-B-U-L.
Non-Turkish woman: Is that a city?
There are some things you shouldn't admit, even if they're true.
Ugly chick: "Let's just say, my phone's on vibrate and if it rings, that's the most action I've gotten in a long time."
Dupont Circle, outside Krispy Kreme.
- 
Hide your pet rabbits, gentlemen.
3 female co-workers standing on the corner waiting for walk signal.
1st woman: So, you think he is?
2nd woman: No, you don't really think he is?
3rd woman: Hell, yes I know he is. He is cheating on his wife and me. I'm gonna cut off his dick and then quit! That'll teach him.
--Corner of 15th and L, NW
Catherine Deneuve - Camille Paglia's fave pin-up!
Good fortune. COMMENT! Please spread the meme. Don’t smoke in bed…
