February 16, 2ôô8
Watch for it! Total Lunar Eclipse – February 20...
The Moon will slide into the shadow of the Earth from 8:50 pm until midnight. During the eclipse, telescopic viewing of Saturn and the Orion Nebula and other celestial objects will be enhanced. There won’t be another lunar eclipse until December 2010.
"Folks, you’ve been played like a fiddle by people in the media who hate the Clintons. They tried to take Hillary down over her clothes, her voice, her tears. When none of that worked, they invented a race war.
There are some good arguments against Hillary — Iraq, people like Mark Penn, the big-money Dems in her circle. But this is “Al-Gore-invented-the-Internet” stuff. And it’s deeply depressing to see so many progressives fall for it." [Paul Krugman]
"I have to tell you, this election, the feeling most people get when they hear
Barack Obama's speech. My, I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don't have that too often."
[A queer reaction from Chris "Tweety" Mathews, the biggest Obama fan in the country]
“Obama won't be as passionate as Clinton in his support of a woman's right to control her biology. Not because he's a man mind you, but because he doesn't seem as interested. While Obama promotes an array of civil rights issues, such as eliminating sentencing disparities between crack and powder cocaine, on the "issues" section of his campaign Web site, he doesn't mention women's reproductive freedom. But go to Clinton's "issues" section and she proudly proclaims her support for Roe vs. Wade.
Access to effective birth control is women's Emancipation Proclamation. Nothing has freed women and bettered their lives and that of their children more than the ability to control the size of their families. Clinton seems to appreciate the momentousness of this - and the way contraception has been under siege by Republicans - in a way that Obama does not.
When the Bush administration's FDA kept dragging its feet, refusing to rule on whether emergency contraception could be available prescription-free and over-the-counter, it was Clinton along with her Senate colleague Patty Murray of Washington who made it a huge issue. They held up the confirmations of first Lester Crawford and then Andrew von Eschenbach as FDA chiefs until the agency made a decision. Approval finally resulted.
This was personal, identity politics and it was brilliant.”
[Robyn Blumner, St. Pete Times]
Remember when Hillary went on her “listening tour”? Not to be outdone - Barack Obama’s ALL EARS!
HILLARY
Insiders say if Hillary Clinton is not elected president she may get her own TV talkshow. Hey - somebody will have to fill in for Vice President Oprah Winfrey. www.tomslake.com
Pope Benedict issued an edict standing by a Vatican Council ruling that the Roman Catholic church is the only true church. He said he welcomes the debate. If there is one thing he learned in the Hitler Youth, it's always be sure of yourself.
Focus on the Family's James Dobson endorsed Mike Huckabee on Friday. Religious conservatives all agree on right-to-life, prayer in school, and opposition to gay marriage, but Mike Huckabee went the extra mile. He promised to force TV Land to cancel “Bewitched”… 
Eugene HUGH BEAUMONT would be 99. He was an American actor and television director. He was also licensed to preach in the Methodist church. He is best known for his portrayal of Ward Cleaver, the husband of June Cleaver (Barbara Billingsley) and the father of Wally (Tony Dow) and Beaver (Jerry Mathers) on the television series, Leave It to Beaver (1957-1963).
PATTY ANDREWS (90) (center), the lone surviving member of The Andrews Sisters, a close harmony singing group, consisting of sisters LaVerne Sophie Andrews (contralto; July 6, 1911–May 8, 1967), Maxene Angelyn Andrews (soprano; January 3, 1916–October 21, 1995), and Patricia Marie (a.k.a. Patty) Andrews (lead; born February 16, 1918). All were born in Minnesota to a Greek immigrant father and a Norwegian American mother. The Andrews Sisters became the best-selling female vocal group in the history of popular music, setting records that remain unsurpassed to this day: between 75-100 million records sold from a little over 600 recorded tunes, more @ Wikipedia
MATThew Abram GROENING (pronounced: GRAY-ning) (54) is an American cartoonist, television producer and writer from Portland, Oregon. Groening is best known as the creator of The Simpsons. He is also the creator of Futurama and the author of the weekly comic strip Life in Hell. Groening distributed Life in Hell in the book corner of Licorice Pizza, a record store in which he worked. He made his first professional cartoon sale to the avant-garde Wet magazine in 1978. The cartoon is still carried in 250 weekly newspapers.
Groening has won 10 Primetime Emmy Awards, nine for The Simpsons and one for Futurama as well as a British Comedy Award for "outstanding contribution to comedy" in 2004. In 2002, he won the National Cartoonist Society Reuben Award for his work on Life in Hell. Matt Groening is one of Rev. Art’s Atheist Pin-Ups. 
THOMAS Peter LANTOS (80) was a Democratic member of the United States House of Representatives from 1981 until his death, representing the northern two-thirds of San Mateo County and a small portion of southwest San Francisco. Lantos had announced in early January that he would not run for reelection in 2008 because of cancer of the esophagus.
Born as Lantos Tamás Péter to a Jewish family in Budapest, Hungary, Lantos was part of a resistance movement against the Nazis during the German occupation of Hungary. In his floor speeches, he sometimes referred to himself as one of the few living members of Congress who fought against fascism.
A secular Jew, Tom Lantos was the only Holocaust survivor ever to serve in Congress.
ROY Richard SCHEIDER (76) was an Academy Award- and Golden Globe-nominated American actor. He was best known for his role as police chief Martin Brody in the 1975 blockbuster Jaws. Scheider was born in Orange, New Jersey. Scheider's mother was of Irish Catholic background and his father was German American and Protestant.
In 1971, he appeared in two highly popular movies, Klute and The French Connection; the latter, in which he played a fictionalized version of New York City detective Sonny Grosso, garnered him an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor. His first starring role came in 1973 in The Seven-Ups, a quasi-follow-up to The French Connection, in which Scheider's character is once again based on Grosso. Two years later, he portrayed Chief Martin Brody in the Hollywood blockbuster Jaws which also starred Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss. Scheider's famous movie line, "You're gonna need a bigger boat", which was actually ad-libbed by Scheider, was voted 35th on the American Film Institute's list of best movie quotes. In 1976, he appeared as secret agent Doc Levy in Marathon Man, with Dustin Hoffman (as his younger brother) and Laurence Olivier.
Some of his films: Klute (1971) The French Connection (1971) The Seven-Ups (1973) Jaws (1975) Marathon Man (1976) Sorcerer (1977) Jaws 2 (1978) Last Embrace (1979) All That Jazz (1979) Still of the Night (1982) Blue Thunder (1983) 52 Pick-Up (1986) Cohen and Tate (1988) Listen to Me (1989) Night Game (1989) The Russia House (1990) Naked Lunch (1991).
In 1979, four years after he appeared in Jaws, he received his second Academy Award nomination, this time as Best Actor in All That Jazz, in which he played a fictionalized version of the film's director Bob Fosse.
“America's government has at least two fundamental functions, protection and empowerment. Protection includes the police, firefighters, emergency services, public health, the military, and so on. Empowerment includes the infrastructure needed for business and everyday life: roads, communications systems, water supplies, public education, the banking system for loans and economic stability, the SEC for the stock market, the courts for enforcing contracts, air traffic control, support for basic science, our national parks and public buildings, and more. We are usually aware of protection. But the empowerment infrastructure, provided by taxes, is usually taken for granted, hidden, or ignored. Yet it is absolutely crucial, a fundamental truth about America and why America provides opportunity. [George Lakoff and Bruce Budner]
"This is a basic truth. Ordinary people just drive on the highways; corporations send fleets of trucks. Ordinary people may get a bank loan for their mortgage; corporations borrow money to buy whole companies. Ordinary people rarely use the courts; most of the courts are used for corporate law and contract disputes. Corporations and their investors -- those who have accumulated enough money beyond basic needs so they can invest - make much more use, compound use, of the empowering infrastructure provided by everybody's tax money.
The wealthy have made greater use of the common good--they have been empowered by it in creating their wealth--and thus they have a greater moral obligation to sustain it. They are merely paying their debt to society in arrears and investing in future empowerment.
This is the fundamental truth that motivates progressive taxation.
It is a truth that undercuts conservative arguments about taxation. Taxes provide and maintain the protecting and empowering infrastructure that makes our income possible…” [George Lakoff and Bruce Budner] 
"I cannot support anybody with the foreign policy (Senator John McLame) advocates, you know, perpetual war. That is just so disturbing to me. I think it's un-American, unconstitutional, immoral and not Republican." [Congressman Ron Paul]
“I think we should invade Berkley, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity!” [Gov. Hucklebuck]
"I will never drop my pants for a cheap laugh." [Jerry Lewis, as he dropped his pants for a cheap laugh.]
"You know Bin Laden was like the 25th child out of 50 siblings. You know, it's always the middle 20 that give you the worst problems." [Bill Maher]
(Click on any image to ENLARGE it)
WELL HOWDY, REV’LERS! 
I’m Rev. Art. I was the first blind paraplegic to climb Mt. Everest - as a FETUS!
Welcome to our crib in Metro Fairborn and THE STAND-UP! - Its like an episode of Law & Order - but without any briefs…
We are very pleased to share with you an exceptional original rock music by the band “Smelly Buddy” in just a few moments…
IN SOLIDARITY
PLEASE - join Da Rev & Da Pagan Baby in contributing to an all out effort to eradicate a horrific malady brought to our attention by Caryl Chessman III. I hope we can count on a check from everyone here this weekend for $500. or more for continuing research into “Elephant's Vomiting Confusion”…
Mike - don’t look now - but you’re sitting next to some foreign guy who is pretending to read a newspaper written in gibberish.
TRIVIA QUESTION
Thanx t' BartCop.com
Dan Blocker was approached to play Major "King" Kong in Stanley Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) - but turned it down.
Why?
A: Because the film would be shot in black & white.
B: It was too "pinko".
C: Schedule conflict with Bonanza.
D: Wanted George C. Scott's role.
E: Wanted Peter Sellers' role. 
Did you see the dog show on TV? Uno the Beagle won the coveted "Best in Show" prize at the Westminster Dog Show in New York this week. He’s the first beagle to win the title. He says he owes it all to that round-headed kid…
To celebrate, the beagle said he planned to drink out of the toilet and party with some bitches.
My teenage grandsons were over earlier. We played Frisbee in the side yard - well… until my teeth got sore… www.tomslake.com
"...according to new research, the number of seniors - people age 65 and over - will more than double in size to 81 million by 2050."
That's only if none of us die, right? 
I'm comin' up on my 66th - but I'll never grow up.
Which reminds me - Here in Ohio, it's a law that when you turn 70 you have to move to St. Pete, Florida and drive on the sidewalks.
My uncle lived there. He said, St. Pete is the City of the Living Dead. Then he died...
He left me his collector’s copy of the original “2 Girls / 1 Cup”, starring Carmen Miranda and Dorothy Lamour. It's 47 minutes long. One take. Those old time starlets had some dedication… And Carmen’s tall hat-made-of-fruit didn’t even fall off once! 
TASTE THIS
In People Magazine: "Peel & Lick" advertising. One step beyond "Scratch & Sniff". Welch's Grape Juice is the first product to use this idea. You peel off a strip - you lick the magazine - taste the product. (TRUE)
They say the flavor will linger through several lickings. Although it may fade a little after everybody in the doctor's waiting room has licked the magazine. (Eeeewww!)
Thanx t’ www.tomslake.com
PETA has issued a warning to Britney Spears: “Don‘t feed your kids ice cream!”
And, of course, they‘re opposed to Hardee‘s Monster Bacon Cheese Burger.
In a release, PETA tried to link mental illness with meat & dairy consumption. The release went on to say, "While the medical link between mental illness and meat and dairy consumption is still evolving, there is no doubt that eating animal products is a major factor in causing other diseases."
I`m confused...
PETA expounds a theory that food sensitivities to animal-based products exacerbate psychoses. And yet PETA members exclude such products from their diets - doesn`t that just disprove their whole argument?
Greg Gutfeld
You know how PETA always says, "Meat stinks"? I used to sell meat. I was calling on a bar owner who said, "I'm married to a vegetarian."
I asked, "Does she smell funny?"
No, he didn't toss me out. He said, "You get used to it..."
U-Mass astrophysicist Gaurav Khanna has strung together 16 PS consoles to simulate gravity waves that occur when two black holes collide. He demonstrated it for me when we visited last winter - then he asked me to help him program his VCR…
It’s come to my attention (from Tim) that when he and Bob were visiting a local T & A Exhibition, Bob stuck a dollar in the stripper’s G-string - and tried to pull out a twenty. He WISHES the bouncer had grabbed him. The enraged stripper grabbed his hands and pulled-out all his palm hairs!
Here’s your VIDEO: The candidate inspires with just three words!
TRIVIA ANSWER
Dan Blocker was approached to play Major "King" Kong in Stanley Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) but turned it down.
Why?
A: Because the film would be shot in black & white.
B: IT WAS TOO "PINKO"!
C: Schedule conflict with 'Bonanza.'
D: Wanted George C. Scott's role.
E: Wanted Peter Sellers' role. 
Da Pagan Baby’s pet vulture has perched on the monitor. I think it's time for me to leave… 
After spending years as a POW in Vietnam where he was supposedly tortured - John McCain flip-flops and votes against a bill prohibiting torture. How pathetic is that? 
Jake Novak's Humor Blog
Terrorist Toast
The Hezbollah terrorist who plotted the 1983 U.S. Marine barracks bombing, the 1985 TWA hijacking, and the 1992 bombing of the Israel embassy in Argentina has died after his car exploded in Syria. Well, that's what happens when you take your work home with you.
Foreign Investment
Foreign investors bought a record $414 billion of U.S. assets in 2007. That's $14 billion in stocks and $400 billion worth of crap on eBay.
Hedge Fund Losses
A new report says that 75% of Wall Street hedge funds lost money in the markets last month. The other 25% lost money making campaign donations to Mitt Romney. 
Rebate Checks
More than 130 million households will get tax rebate checks this summer as Congress is finally doing something for the nation’s financially-strapped liquor stores and check cashing parlors. 
Comedian Argus Hamilton
John McCain was endorsed by Jeb Bush a day after President Bush praised John McCain as a real conservative. He'll be alright. If John McCain really did withstand torture from the North Vietnamese he should be able to survive an endorsement from the Bush Family.
President Bush discussed his daily routine as commander-in-chief in a Fox News interview last Sunday at the White House. He said every morning the first thing he does is take a look at that day's threat to America. Most people simply call it shaving. 
Some suggested alternatives to the “c-word”:
“hoohoos”
“va-jay jays”
“bearded goblets”
More ARGUS
The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show was held at Madison Square Garden this week. It draws a nice cable audience. The networks were about to buy the show and train the dogs to attack supermodels when news came from L.A. that the writers' strike had been settled. 
Roger Clemens stopped by Capitol Hill to chat with lawmakers before his steroid hearing. He was a sensation. The only visitor who was ever recognized by more congressmen and staffers was Ron Jeremy, although only the Democrats admitted it. 
Amy Winehouse won five Grammy Awards in Los Angeles last Sunday but she was denied a visa to enter the United States from Britain to perform on the show due to drug charges. She had to be beamed to the show via satellite. That's how high she was. 
Amy Winehouse was the toast of the music industry when the Grammy Awards show in Los Angeles awarded the rehabbing British ballad singer a record-tying five Grammys in a single night. She was hugely excited. She thought she had won five grams. }}}rim shot!!{{{
Swiss police reported a major theft of classic paintings in Zurich Monday. Art can accurately label your personality just by your ancestry. Italians use art to glorify God, the French use art to glorify love and the British prefer self-portraits.
Paris Hilton's little brother was arrested for DUI Tuesday a month after Britney Spears' little sister got pregnant. It's dangerous when younger siblings recklessly seek attention. Last week police had to be called after Jeb Bush endorsed John McCain. 
Letterman
Have you been watching the Roger Clemens congressional hearings? He denies being injected by his trainer. But what I thought was interesting was every time they mentioned “buttocks,” Sen. Larry Craig swooned. 
LAW & ORDER - SVU's MARISKA HARGITAY
She's so HOTT!! Looking at her directly can cause retinal damage!
HUNKS FOR THE LADIES
ACTOR VIGGO MORTENSEN
A teenager is walking downtown and a girl whispers to him, "Blowjob, twenty dollars".
He gives her a strange look and keeps walking. Soon another girl does the same thing. Confused, he keeps walking. The first thing out of his mouth when he returned home was "Mom, what's a blowjob?".
His mom replies, "Twenty dollars, just like downtown!"
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, "What's wrong with Schlitz, don't you like it?"
The man says, "I hate that shit. Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks.”
The bartender says, "You drink a case of ANY beer you're going to blow chunks".
"You don't understand," said the man, "Chunks is my dog!"
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There shure ish," he replied. "Breakfasht."
A guy is riding the bus when the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on. The only problem is that she is a nun. He decides to approach her anyway. "Sister, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I must have sex with you," he says.
"I'm sorry but I've given my body to God," she replies and then leaves.
Suddenly the bus driver turns around to the guy and says, "I know a way you can get her in the sack."
The bus driver tells the guy about how the nun goes to confessional everyday at 3 in the afternoon. The bus driver tells the guy his plan and the guy leaves happy knowing he's going to get some. The next day at 3 the guy is in the booth dressed as a priest. When the nun approaches in the darkness he says, "Sister, God has told me I must have sex with you."
She replies, "Well if God has said it, we must do it. However because of my strong commitment to God I will only take it up the ass."
The guy figures this isn't a problem and proceeds to have the best sex ever. After it is over he whips off his outfit and says, "Surprise I'm the guy on the bus!"
With that the nun turns around and says, "Surprise I'm the bus driver!!"
'53 STUDEBAKER
V-8
Good fortune. COMMENT! Please spread the meme. Don’t smoke in bed…
