March 1, 2ôô8
NAVIGATING THE FRINGE STREAM
- LISTING A BIT TO THE LEFT...
Tuesday, March 4, is primary voting day in Ohio, Texass, Rhode Island and Vermont. Be sure to vote for the Clinton of your choice - but VOTE!
Hillary Clinton said she raised thirty-five million dollars in February. She's finally gotten the hang of Internet fundraising. It turns out the only three ways to make money on the Internet are pornography, gambling and promising free health care.
SOMEWHERE IN A RURAL OHIO COMMUNITY:
"Women have come so far as feminists, that they don’t feel obligated to vote for a candidate just because she’s a woman. Women today feel perfectly free to make whatever choice Oprah tells them to. Which raises the question, why are people abandoning Hillary for Obama? Some say that they’re put off by the fact that Hillary can’t control her husband, and that we would end up with co-presidents. ‘Cause that would be terrible, having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems. Ugh."
[Tina Fey, SNL]
"Rush Limbaugh said that he doesn’t think America is ready to watch their president quote “turn into an old lady in front of them.” Really?
They didn’t seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that."
[Tina Fey] 
"Marx was wrong. Religion is not the opiate of the people. Opium suggests something soporific, numbing, dulling. Too often religion has been an aphrodisiac for horror, a Benzedrine for bestiality. At its best it has lifted spirits and raised spires. At its worst it has turned entire civilizations into cemeteries." [Philip Adams]
Rozonda Ocelean Thomas (r)(37) better known by herstage name Chilli, is an American R&B singer and actress. She was born to mother of Native American and African-American descent, and her father is of East Indian and Arab descent. In 1991 she joined the group TLC as lead singer with Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins (l) and Lisa "One Eye" Lopes (center). She was nicknamed "Chilli", thus the group’s name TLC. Through their four studio albums and numerous singles, TLC went on to sell over 45 million records worldwide and solidify themselves as one of the best selling girl groups of all-time. Their last album, 3D, was released in November 2002, seven months after the death of bandmate Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. In 1995, and again in 2003, Chilli was voted one of People magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People".
Chilli Thomas met her father for the first time on the Sally Jessy Raphael television show in 1996 when DNA tests were being done to reunite children with their fathers.
William F. Buckley Jr.
(82) Ivy Leaguer and conservative editor, columnist, novelist, debater, TV talk show star of Firing Line, harpsichordist, trans-oceanic sailor, and even a good-natured loser in the 1965 New York mayor's race. Buckley worked at a dizzying pace, taking as little as 20 minutes to write a column for the conservative biweekly magazine he founded in 1955, the National Review. Yet on Firing Line or whatever TV discussion panel he graced, he relaxed, displaying his considerable vocabulary, arching his brows, licking his lips, and relishing the discomfort of his liberal opponents. In the '60s and '70s Buckley helped to revive American political conservatism and gave it intellectual legitimacy. He had been ill with diabetes and emphysema. He was found dead by his cook at his home in Stamford, Connecticut on February 27, 2008.
For a few years in the ‘60s Rev. Art subscribed to Lord Buckley’s National Review. I volunteered for the Goldwater campaign. Hillary was a “Goldwater Girl” in those days! She turned to the Democrats within a few years. By 1969 Nixon had also managed to radicalize Da Rev.
Buckley survived infancy (he didn't gag on the silver spoon)... His nemesis, Gore Vidal still lives! Buckley, who said he was right about more thngs than anyone he knew of, held and propagated notions of black racial inferiority in his mag...
Buddy Miles (60) drummer-singer who played with Jimi Hendrix in his short-lived group, Band of Gypsies, and the jazz-rock band Electric Flag. He was lead singer in the claymation commercials featuring the California Raisins in the '80s. Miles suffered from congestive heart failure and died in Austin, Texas on February 26, 2008. 
Mike Smith (64) lead singer of the '60s British band the Dave Clark Five, whose hits included "Glad All Over," "Bits & Pieces," and "Because." The group, which broke up in the '70s, was one of the first British bands to find major success in the US after the Beatles. In 2003, Smith suffered a spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed from the waist down. He was looking forward to the group's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on March 10 when he died of pneumonia near London, England on February 28, 2008.
A heterosexual man can't hang out all the time with his many gay friends at a local gay bar acting "very feminine" without somehow getting accused of gayness. And yet that is precisely the position gay Florida governor Charlie Crist confronts as one of the nation's most rumor-dogged opponents of gay marriage. Still - the pundits keep predicting he’ll be Walnuts McCain’s running mate. [Wonkette]
(Meanwhile, back in Tampa - Charlie's still The Talk of the Green Iguana…) ==>
"I can absolutely 1000000000% guarantee that Charlie Crist will not be running for VP..." [gay activist/journalist Mike Rogers]
It, of course, is the argumentum ad consequentiam, the Great Godwinization of the debate, the constant claim that Charles Darwin was the evil monster responsible for the Holocaust, all modern racism and oppression, anti-semitism, whites-only seating on buses, slavery, eugenics, abortion, man-on-pig sex, gun control, job discrimination, illegal aliens, feminism, the birth control pill, hedonism, Mexicans, atheism, hippies, and anything other than the average social mores of 1950s America, and therefore evolution is false. [http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/ ]
"If there is a god, why does he keep promoting his most stupid followers to school boards?
[http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/ ]
I want to say something about Barack Hussein Obama's name. It is a name to be proud of. It is an American name. It is a blessed name. It is a heroic name, as heroic and American in its own way as the name of General Omar Nelson Bradley or the name of Benjamin Franklin. And denigrating that name is a form of racial and religious bigotry of the most vile and debased sort. It is a prejudice against names deriving from Semitic languages!
...Barack Obama's middle name is in honor of his grandfather, Hussein, a SECULAR resident of Nairobi. Americans may think of Saddam Hussein when they hear the name, but that is like thinking of Stalin when you hear the name Joseph. There have been lots of Husseins in history, from the grandson of the Prophet Muhammad, a hero who touched the historian Gibbon, to King Hussein of Jordan, one of America's most steadfast allies in the 20th century. The author of the beloved American novel, "The Kite Runner", is Khaled Hosseini.
But in Obama's case, it is just a reference to his grandfather.
[Juan Cole]
(Click on any image to ENLARGE it)
WELL HOWDY, REV’LERS!
I’m Rev. Art. Welcome to our crib in Metro Fairborn and THE STAND-UP! - Its like the musical CATS, but with less singing... and more licking myself clean.
We are very pleased to share with you some exceptional original rock music by the band “Sweet Sugar & The Canes” in just a few moments…
PLEASE - join Da Rev & Da Pagan Baby in contributing to an all out effort to eradicate a horrific malady brought to our attention by Sherman Ochs. I hope we can count on a check from everyone here this weekend for $500. or more for continuing research into “Viper's Inflammatory Flux”…
I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, that is what I’d truly like to be.
‘Cuz if I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener, everyone would take a bite of me...
Ralph Nader is running for President - again. Is it just me - or does Ralph look like the high school science teacher whose experiments never work out the way they're supposed to?
Yesterday Ralph Nader spoke to a campaign rally where he worked the crowd into a frenzy. You had to be there, I guess. Three people were in a frenzy. Thanx t’ www.tomslake.com
There have been questions raised concerning Senator John McLame’s eligibility to run for the Office of President. Be assured that Senator McLame, who was born on a US military installation in the Panama Canal Zone is considered to be a Natural-Born Citizen of the US. The Panama Canal Zone was a US territory , as were the 13 original states at that time.
As for “Natural-Born” - I’m not sure - what is that? Non-Caesarian? No epidural?
Liberal Elitist Democrat Tony Sasso Has Won “Twenty Dollar” Bob Allen's Florida Seat in House District 32. It's an important election on all levels, but coincidentally, this is the seat from which ex-Republican state Rep. "Twenty Dollar" Bob Allen resigned last year, after he was found guilty of offering blowjobs for $20. to everyone in a public restroom. [Wonkette]
CLICK HERE:
Obama will Fix your Computer ...
What else will Obama do?
Has anyone asked - Who does Oprah think should be our Vice-President?
I can’t believe Patrick said that to that woman - “Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? ” Needs work…
TRIVIA QUESTION
What movie did reviewer Rick Polito of the Marin Independent Journal describe as: "Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again."
A: The Bad Seed
B: La Femme Nikita
C: Howard the Duck
D: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
E: The Wizard of Oz
The answer to the Trivia Question is at the end of The Stand-Up!
According to a Las Vegas newspaper, doormen at Vegas nightclubs can make four hundred thousand dollars a year in tips. Oh yeah? It sounds like a nice gig - but remember - you have to wear a dorky uniform.
If you work at one of the smaller clubs you'll have to work your ass off to pull down 200 thousand. Thanx t’ www.tomslake.com 
A 14-week-old unnamed female Amur Leopard looks on in her enclosure at Marwell Zoological Park in Winchester, England. Thursday, Feb. 28, 2008.
A leopard cub newly born into one of the most endangered species in the world finally got its first breath of fresh air after spending three months in its mother's den at a British zoo. The cub was bred from two Amur leopards, Ashca and Akin, as part of a European conservation program. Though there are around 200 Amur in captivity, a Wildlife Conservation Society census last April revealed there are less than 35 living in the wild.
[Photo by Gareth Fuller] 
Here’s your VIDEO
The shocking story of a racist in the porn industry
Use Of 'N-Word' May End Porn Star's Career 
TRIVIA ANSWER
What movie did Rick Polito of the Marin Independent Journal describe as: "Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again."
A: The Bad Seed
B: La Femme Nikita
C: Howard the Duck
D: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
E: THE WIZARD OF OZ 
Democrats Agree Not to Use "John Insane McCain"!
“WE DON’T NEED TO DRAW THE VOTERS A PICTURE — THE SENATOR’S COMMITMENT TO ANOTHER 100 YEARS IN IRAQ SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.”
President Evil TRAVIS FIMMEL
Jake Novak's Humor Blog
Energy experts are trying to figure out why electricity was knocked out for millions of people from Orlando to Miami yesterday. It's the first bad thing in 49 years that's happened in South Florida that they can't blame on Fidel Castro. 
Comedian Argus Hamilton
Michelle Obama accused Republicans Thursday of fear-mongering by repeating her husband's middle name, Hussein. What's happened to America? Before either Bush became president, King Hussein and Saddam Hussein were two of our best friends in the region. 
Rabid race-baiting Cincinnati WLW radio host Bill Cunningham slammed John McCain for repudiating his onstage intro of the senator, during which he called Obama a terrorist-coddling hack politician from Chicago. It's crazy. The radio guy decided in anger to endorse Hillary Clinton, who is refusing his endorsement saying he's too soft on Barack Obama. 
Mike Huckabee said his goal is a deadlocked GOP convention this summer even though John McCain has already virtually clinched the nomination. Hucklebuck's no good at mathematics. When he was in high school, Mike Huckabee refused to take geometry because he believes geometry is just Satan's way of getting children to draw his symbols.
Oliver Stone, an outspoken critic of the
Bush administration's invasion of Iraq,
supposedly wants to make a movie about Dubya. Here's the SHORT list of possible film titles:
Dial W for War
Full Mental Jackoff
Mr. Ditz Goes to Washington
Pimped Fiction
This Is Wire Tap
Bushtar
The Empire Strikes Iraq
American Wankster
Disaster and Commander
Honey, I Shrunk the Constitution!
George of the Bungle
The Decider House Rules
and the Number 1 Title for the Upcoming Oliver Stone Movie About George W. Bush...
My Own Private I Dunno __Thanx t' TOP FIVE 
MORE Jake
Neverland Auction
The Neverland Ranch could go up for auction in the coming days and could go for as much as $35 million. Whoever buys the property will need to spend an additional $10 million to remove all the life-sized posters of Macauley Culkin and Emmanuel Lewis. 
CLICK TO ENLARGE!
MORE Argus
Michael Jackson reportedly got a loan Wednesday to avoid foreclosure on Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara. It has outlived its usefulness. After all the publicity that the house has gotten, there's no way the neighbors still think it's a junior high. 
Roger Clemens faces an investigation this week for lying to Congress about steroid use. It's really ugly. Testimony indicates he attended a party at Jose Canseco's house where Mrs. Canseco and Mrs. Clemens compared breast sizes, and their husbands won. 
Roger Clemens faces a perjury probe today for denying steroid use to the House Oversight Committee. It seems a little harsh to charge him with lying to Congress. It's not like everybody believed him and invaded Iraq on the strength of what he said. 
Snoop Dogg was ticketed in New York for pot possession last week. He was arrested three times for pot, once for cocaine and gun possession and he's been acquitted of murder. He is thirty-six years old, which is one hundred and eighty in hip-hop star years. 
Great Britain's judicial office said Thursday the judgment in Paul McCartney's divorce case will be announced in two weeks. Everyone's watching. It could be the most expensive divorce in British history, if you don't count the American Revolution. 
CHILLI THOMAS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!! If her beauty were a split-level machine shop - I'd grind my dirty tool in her basement.
HUNKS FOR THE LADIES
A farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, "Son, since you have done such a fine job here this summer, I am going to throw a party for you."
The college guy says, "Right on, thanks a lot man."
So the farmer says, "Well you better be able to handle a few beers because there will be lotsa drinkin' going on."
College guy: "Hey, I can drink just as much as anyone else so I should do just fine."
Farmer: "There is also going to be a lot of fightin' so I hope you are ready."
College guy: "I have been working hard all summer and I think I am in pretty good shape."
Farmer says, "Well, did I mention that there will be lotsa sex?"
College guy: "Good. I have been out here all summer and I have been dying for some action. What should I wear to this party?"
Farmer says, "I don't care it's just going to be me and you."
Three creationists were sitting on the porch. The first said "My wife is so dumb, yesterday she drug home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain't even got electricity!"
The second creationist said "My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain't even got runnin water!"
The third fundie said "My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table. Everything was spilt out of it and there was a bunch of rubbers a-layin there... and she ain't even got a DICK!"
A guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. So the guy sits down next to her and pulls a small box from his pocket. He opens it and there's a frog inside. The blonde says, "He's cute, but does he do tricks?"
The guy says, "Yea, he licks pussy."
So after talking with her for several minutes, he convinces her to come with him to his apartment. They get there and she takes all of her clothes off, gets into the bed and spreads her legs. The guy sets the frog right between her legs and it just sits there not moving at all. The blond says, "Well? what's up?"
The frog still does not move. So the guy leans over to the frog and says, "All right, I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"
SELITA EUBANKS
A man is driving his eighteen wheeler down the road, when he sees a hitch hiker. So the trucker stops and picks up the man. While they are driving down the road, the trucker says "Hey man, you wanna see something pretty cool?"
The hitch hiker says sure. So the trucker has this monkey in the back, and he makes it come up with the men, and he smacks the monkey upside his head, and the monkey gives him a blow job. So after that, the trucker says "Hey man, do you want some of that?"
And the hitch hiker says "Sure, but please don’t smack me upside my head!"
Good fortune. COMMENT! !Please spread the meme. Don’t smoke in bed…
