NAVIGATING THE FRINGE STREAM
- LISTING A BIT TO THE LEFT...
Minister of Rants - it‘s the #1 blog among people who know Sarah Palin is in bed with the Mormon, Aryan, Polygamyst, Cryo-biological, Monsanto Genetic- engineering, oil drillin', homosexual curin', transexual surgery, pioneering insurance money cabal that runs the wild, wild west.
(Click on any image to ENLARGE it)
John McCain googled for Veep prospects and settled on Sarah Palin - who belongs to a Christian Identity sect, a dominionist organization - "Joel's Army" - within the Assemblies of God neo-Pentecostal Ministries, who subscribe to the belief that we are living in the "end times", as they derive from the Bible. An end-time nuclear war has been a big part of end-time theology in Assemblies churches (and particularly those at the heart of the "Joel's Army" movement). Thursday evening, in an interview on ABC-TV, Sarah Palin seemed to leave open the possibility of war with Russia.
Sarah Palin is running in a manner that has been successful for dominionist groups since the early 80's - specifically, as a "stealth candidate" for the same folks who were portrayed in the "Jesus Camp" VIDEO.
She claims to have left her long-time Assemblies congregation - yet she has continued speak at their events - for which she has spent state funds to attend.
She is a member of Feminists for Life (FFL), which engages in "cultural appropriation" of women's suffrage icons to promote a very woman-unfriendly agenda that would not only criminalize abortion but the IUD and hormonal birth control methods - and potentially everything outside the "rhythm method".
She has been active in Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA), a known frontgroup of the coercive dominionist group Campus Crusade for Christ.
EVOLUTIONISTS FLOCK TO DARWIN-SHAPED WALL STAIN!!
FIRST SHOWING: DARWIN BIO-PIC
Husband and wife Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly have been cast as a married couple in an upcoming film titled Creation (previously known as Origin). The film tells the life story of Charles Darwin, the English naturalist who essentially came up with the idea of evolution.
VIDEO: Woody Guthrie Sings Ballad of Jesus Christ - to the tune of “Jesse James”. Woody’s Jesus is non-divine - a humanist outlaw; a community organizer, if you will…
BLOGGIN' FOR OBAMA
Barack Obama’s speech in Denver played down his Messiah image. It was against type. Bookies posted even odds Barack Obama would ride into the stadium on an ass, but at the last second Jesse Jackson came down with back spasms.
Caribou Barbie Sarah Palin - Klondike Snow Bunny - OR, as Will Durst describes her: “... Tina Fey crossed with a shark. Pat Buchanan in heels. Christie Todd Whitman in a skirt. Apparently, being a hockey mom means chewing holes in your opponent’s stick. Or as she said; a pitbull with lipstick. Must be all those pucks to the head.”
I hadn’t heard any of this - but the McCain campaign has vigorously denied reports that Republican vice-presidential pick Sarah Palin had a steamy extramarital affair with her husband's business partner. Now I’m wondering… Just sayin’…
BUT WAIT!
John McCain's campaign is threatening a lawsuit against the National Enquirer over a print edition story they ran THIS WEEK alleging that Sarah Palin has had an extramarital affair with her husband's business partner. They got it right on John Edwards…
RNC COVERED DISH SUPPER: McCAIN BROUGHT THE HALF-BAKED ALASKAN…
SARAH BARRACUDA BE SAYIN’: “SAMBO BEAT THE BITCH!”
Does she kiss her kids with that mouth?
“‘So Sambo beat the bitch!’ This is how Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin described Barack Obama’s win over Hillary Clinton to political colleagues in a restaurant a few days after Obama locked up the Democratic Party presidential nomination.” How dare sexist lipstick dog Sarah Palin call Hillary Clinton a “bitch.” [LA Progressive]
VIDEO: "Sarah Pale In Comparison" featuring Roy Zimmerman...
VIDEO: Here’s the GOP VEEP candidate speakin’ at her church in June of this year; and Continued HERE
Sarah Palin answered a questionnaire while running for governor:
Will you support funding for abstinence-until-marriage education instead of for explicit sex-education programs, school-based clinics, and the distribution of contraceptives in schools?
SP: Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support.
Sarah Palin promised parents of special needs children that they will have a friend in Washington... which makes sense since there's been a special needs child in the White House for the last 7 1/2 years.
Democrats are bashing Sarah Palin's speech because it was penned by one of President Bush's speechwriters... yeah but this time, he didn't have to spell it out phonetically.
If beauty were a split-level machine shop I'd grind my dirty tool in her basement. 
Republican leaders are reminding everyone that Sarah Palin and her family are from a small town, with small-town values... where there's really nothing else to do but get pregnant.
At the Republican convention, Sarah Palin made her case for why she should be vice president... mostly by keeping her family in the convention hall and not allowing any of them to get pregnant for at least 45 minutes.
Comedian Argus Hamilton
Sarah Palin was a huge hit at the GOP convention Wednesday. Now comes the real challenge. She has a five-month old baby, a grandchild on the way and a seventy-two-year old running mate. How many diapers a day can one woman be expected to change?!
Sarah Palin was cheered at the GOP convention. Her husband, her five kids, her pregnant daughter and the teen father were all there. They were guarded by the Secret Service despite the family's well-known aversion to using any protection. 
Sarah Palin introduced her husband to the GOP convention as her high school love. He's a hard-hat member of the Steelworkers Union, a volunteer fireman, and he is part-Eskimo. Some family values ticket, she's married to the Village People.
Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol was revealed to be pregnant by her high school boyfriend. He brags on MySpace about being a redneck. It's the first time anyone's ever thought there's a fine line between Romeo and Juliet and the Jerry Springer Show. 
Letterman:
Sarah Palin. She looks like the weekend anchor on Channel 9.
She looks like the hygienist who makes you feel guilty for not flossing.
She looks like the mom in a Tide commercial.
MORE Sarah here!
McCain has 7-8 houses. 150,000 American Veterans have NO HOUSES. They’re HOMELESS!!
I wonder if there was a lot of gay Republican bathroom sex at this year’s Republican Convention?
Why were there Chinese delegates at the RNC Convention in St. Paul? They ALL looked underage!
"McCain is a lot like your next door neighbor. In fact, he may be your next door neighbor because he owns a lot of houses..."
[Stephen Colbert]
McMaverick McSame is more like George W. Bush than George W. Bush! Check it out:
*There is no war. So long as there's someone we're not bombing, peace reigns.
*There is no poverty. So long as you can sell your organs or sexual favors on the black market, you have access to plenty of funds.
*There is no unemployment. So long as anyone can collect cans by the side of the road, everyone has a job.
*There is no crack down on civil liberties. John McCain was a POW and knows what it's like to live without freedom.
There is no global warming. So long as Canada is too weak to resist an invasion, we'll always have a temperate climate.
*There is no hunger. So long as we have soup kitchens and edible weeds, people will always have enough to eat. And John McCain was a POW, so he knows what it's like to miss a meal occasionally.
Thanx t’ Jesus' General
August 27 marked the 100th anniversary of the birth of President Lyndon Johnson:
In conjunction with the civil rights movement, President Lyndon Baines Johnson overcame southern resistance and convinced Congress to pass the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which outlawed most forms of racial segregation… 
Legend has it that, as he put down his pen, Johnson told an aide, "We have lost the South for a generation," anticipating a coming backlash from Southern whites against Johnson's Democratic Party. In 1965, he achieved passage of a second civil rights bill, the Voting Rights Act, that outlawed discrimination in voting, thus allowing millions of southern blacks to vote for the first time.
In 1967, Johnson nominated civil rights attorney Thurgood Marshall to be the first African American Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. After the murder of civil rights worker Viola Liuzzo, Johnson went on television to announce the arrest of four Ku Klux Klansmen implicated in her death. He angrily denounced the Klan as a "hooded society of bigots", and warned them to "return to a decent society before it's too late." He turned to the themes of Christian redemption to push for civil rights, thereby mobilizing support from churches North and South.
Jerry Reed (71) country singer and guitarist who became a "good ol' boy" actor in car-chase movies like Smokey & the Bandit (1977).
As a singer in the '70s and early '80s, Reed had a string of hits including "Amos Moses," "When You're Hot, You're Hot" (for which he won a 1971 Grammy), "East Bound & Down," "She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)," and "The Bird."
He shared Grammys with guitarist Chet Atkins (d. 2001) for their albums Me & Jerry (1970) and Sneakin' Around (1992).
Reed died of emphysema in Nashville, Tennessee on September 1, 2008.
(Jerry put out a single with a humorous narrative about a guy who is trying to quit cigarettes. It won't seem so funny now...)
(Jerry was an ace guitar picker with a unique style. He & Chet put out some terrific duets. He was a prolific songwriter. He wrote complex ballads as well as novelty hits. He wrote two songs referencing Elvis - "Tupelo Mississippi Flash" & "Guitar Man" - which Elvis later recorded with Jerry on lead guitar.)
Walter ("Killer") Kowalski (81) pro wrestling pioneer. Kowalski began his professional career in 1947 as "Tarzan" Kowalski. His hulking 6-foot-7, 275-pound frame and a brutal wrestling style soon won him the nickname "Killer." He became known as a villain after hurting Yukon Eric during a match in Montreal in 1954. Kowalski had been in critical condition since a massive heart attack on Aug. 8. He died after his family took him off life support, in Everett, Massachusetts on August 30, 2008. 
Jenny the Gorilla (55) oldest gorilla in captivity as confirmed by the International Species Information System, which maintains records on animals at 700 institutions around the world. Dallas Zoo officials decided to euthanize Jenny because of an inoperable tumor in her stomach. She had recently stopped eating and drinking, and tests showed she was unlikely to recover. Jenny was euthanized at the Dallas (Texas) Zoo—her home for more than 50 years, on September 4, 2008.
To shatter forever not only the barriers of law and public practice, but the walls which bound the condition of many by the color of his skin. To dissolve, as best we can, the antique enmities of the heart which diminish the holder, divide the great democracy, and do wrong — great wrong — to the children of God... [President Lyndon Johnson in Howard University commencement address in1965 ]
"Sarah Palin is the most exciting Republican since Ronald Reagan."
[Pat Robertson, to Solenoid O' Brien, on CNN] 
"You'll be encouraged by the power of God's love and His desire to transform the lives of those impacted by homosexuality…"
[insert in the bulletin of the Wasilla Bible Church, where homophobic Sister Sarah Palin has prayed for about six years]
"McCain had chosen a running mate whose primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion."
[Carol Fowler, Democratic Chair in SC]
Man, as a curious accident in a backwater, is intelligible: his mixture of virtues and vices is such as might be expected to result from a fortuitous origin. But only abysmal self-complacency can see in Man a reason which Omniscience could consider adequate as a motive for the Creator.
The Copernican revolution will not have done its work until it has taught men more modesty than is to be found among those who think Man sufficient evidence of Cosmic Purpose. [Bertrand Russell]
(Click on any image to ENLARGE it)
I’m Rev. Art. 
We are so pleased to see SENATOR BARACK OBAMA is attending THE STAND-UP - the word leaked out… This is the first time we’ve had 80,000 people in our modest home here in Metro Fairborn, Ohio!
We are very pleased to share with you an exceptional original music composition from the band “Fart Raw Chamomile” right after this important message:
PLEASE - join Da Rev & Da Pagan Baby in contributing to an all out effort to eradicate a horrific malady brought to our attention by Eddie Izzard. I hope we can count on a check from everyone here this weekend for $500. or more for continuing research into Thunder Nervousness…
The weather has been close to perfect here in Metro Fairborn this week. It’s so pleasant John McCain bought a couple of houses here.
Researchers say they are close to developing a light-bending "cloak of invisibility". Here Dolly Parton wears a tube top of invisibility.
Gerry submitted his profile to E-Harmony.com. They matched him with a couch & a tube of astroglide.
Aren’t you tired of people who start so many of their thoughts with “Because at the end of the day…”? Uhhhmmm, no. It’s better than “Because at night…”
There's a new DVD that teaches people how to overcome their addiction to the Internet. You get a discount if you order it on-line.
For example: You'll find it easier to remember the last time you ate fish. Thanx t' Toms Lake Humor Co.
I see the folks in Wasilla, Alaska are commemorating their former mayor by erectin’ a statue carved entirely out of BITCH!
TRIVIA QUESTION
BartCop Entertainment Page
How many non-presidents are pictured on US paper currency currently in circulation?
A: 0
B: 1
C: 2
D: 3
E: 4
Answer Below...
Here’s your VIDEO: Django Reinhardt, Swing-1939
And this VIDEO: Dan Rowan & Dick Martin - totally unprepared for the phenomenon of Tiny Tim…
TRIVIA ANSWER
How many non-presidents are pictured on US paper currency currently in circulation?
A: 0
B: 1
C: 2
D: 3
E: 4
Alexander Hamilton is one of two non-presidents featured on currently issued U.S. bills. The other is Benjamin Franklin, on the $100 bill . 
(Click on any image to ENLARGE it)
Comedian Argus Hamilton
Barack Obama promised Ohio voters that he'll double charter school funding. He also promised to pay teachers for their performance and replace teachers who are no good. Students want to know what he is going to do about teachers who snore in bed. 
Jake Novak's Humor Blog
Lehman Woes
Lehman Brothers changed its name to "Lehman Brother" today... one of the brothers had to be laid off.
Lehman Brothers is actively looking for a buyer. Last night dozens of Lehman brokers were seen leaning into open car windows on 7th Avenue trying to make a deal.
Lehman Brothers CEO Dick Fuld was conducting a conference call about company earnings this morning... but it was interrupted when his phone was repossessed.
Fannie Freddie Bailout
Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac took ridiculous risks and now the federal government is bailing them out. The only other people supporting that kind of irresponsible behavior are Bristol Palin's parents.
(Socialism has finally been ushered into the USA - not by Barry or Michelle Obama, or even Angela Davis. The gummint - that is, the Bush-Cheney-Paulson Administration - seized Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac last week…)
Energy Bribes
A new probe shows that U.S. government employees received bribes from energy companies including illicit sex and drugs. It's what the Bush administration likes to call: "On-Shore Drilling."
MORE from Jake
Brady Out
Star New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady may be out for the season with a knee injury. The Patriots are asking the federal government for a bailout.
MORE from Argus
The Department of Health released a survey showing remarkable progress in the War on Drugs. Only eight percent of Americans used illegal drugs last year. It's just another example of young people rebelling against their Baby Boomer parents. 
(Click on any image to ENLARGE it)
FAUX News Babe Courtney Friel is so beautiful!
HUNKS FOR THE LADIES
There's a crime wave at Victoria's Secret stores - the company
is losing merchandise at an alarming rate:
A young lady I know was caught stealing.
In Victoria's Secret stuff she was dealing.
They booked her, they say,
For gross negligee -
'Cause the things she took were revealing.
Karl Rove, Pauly Shore, and a homeless man are at a table in a new bar with no name. The barkeep says, "If you can give my bar a good name, I'll give you three beers right now and three tomorrow."
Rove said, "Call it 'The Elite!' " Pauly Shore said, "The Bar With No Name!?". . .
Both suggestions were rejected and the homeless man asked "Whats your wifes name?"
The bartender says "Suzie."
The Street Person replied, "Call it 'Suzies Legs', on account of your wife!"
The bartender gives him three beers and reminds him to return tomorrow. The bum sleeps on the bar's front doorstep, and a cop comes up to him and says "Sir, what the hell are you doing here?"
The bum replies, "I'm waitin' for Suzies's Legs to open up so I can get a drink!"
Larry and Bob wanted to go out drinking, but they only had $2.00 between them. Larry said, "Hang on, I have an idea."
He went next door to the butcher's shop and spent the $2.00 on one large sausage. Bob said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have ANY money left!?"
Larry replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."
They went into the pub where Larry immediately ordered two double shots of Jack Daniels. Bob said, "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money to pay for this!"
Larry replied, with a smile, "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!"
They downed their drinks Larry said "OK! , I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you get on your knees and put it in your mouth."
Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, bar after bar, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth bar, Bob said, "Larry - I don't think I can do this anymore. My mouth is sore and my knees are killing me!"
Larry said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage at the third bar!"
BRANDI LYNN
A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop is charging are very high. She goes to the clerk and explains her concern.
"Well, I have a frog in the back that I can let you have for $50," the clerk says.
"$50?" the woman replies. "That seems terribly expensive for a frog."
"Well, this frog is worth it. It's been trained to give blow jobs."
The woman is stunned, but because her husband loves this sort of sex, and because she is not particularly fond of it, she decides the frog might be a good investment. She buys the frog, brings it home, presents it to her husband, and explains its special value.
The husband is skeptical, but promises he'll give the frog a try that night. The woman goes to sleep happily knowing her husband won't bother her that night. She is suddenly awakened by a clatter coming from the kitchen. She goes downstairs and finds the frog and her husband pulling out pots and pans and poring over cookbooks.
"What are you two doing down here?" she asks.
Her husband responds, "If I can teach this frog to cook, you're out of here!"
SERENA WILLIAMS - WINNER, U.S. OPEN 2008
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's the problem?"
After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend."
"Wow," says the barkeep. "What did you do about it?"
"I walked over to my wife, looked her in the eye, told her to pack her stuff, and get the hell out."
"That makes sense," remarks the barkeep. "And, what about your best friend?"
"I looked him right in the eye and yelled, "Bad dog!!!!" 
NEW MODEL
Good fortune. COMMENT! Please spread the meme. Don’t smoke in bed…
