SORRY FOR THE DELAY - when I published the blog @ 3 AM Monday half of the stuff just vanished! It's the most unheard of thing I ever heard of!
RANT, REV, RANT
Joe "Baby Moon" Mullins STILL broadcasting bigotry with bluegrass...
Rev. Art blogs for Hillary || 110307
Patrick Joseph Buchanan (69) is an American politician, author, syndicated columnist and broadcaster. He ran in the 2000 presidential election on the Reform Party ticket as a populist-social conservative. He also sought the Republican presidential nomination in 1992 and 1996.
Buchanan was a senior advisor to three American presidents, Nixon, Ford and Reagan, and was an original host on CNN's Crossfire. He also co-founded The American Conservative magazine and launched The American Cause, a paleo-conservative foundation. He has been published in many publications, including Human Events, National Review, The Nation and Rolling Stone. On American television, he is currently a political analyst on the MSNBC cable network and a regular on The McLaughlin Group.
Wikipedia
“ ‘Pitchfork Pat‘, a Southern-born Irish Catholic is a brilliant, informative, often strident political commentator. I oppose his political views, which seem to flirt with fascism at times, but I always pay attention to what he has to say. He’s seldom wrong except when he becomes the candidate.” [Rev. Art] 
Stefanie Powers (65) (born Stefania Zofia Federkiewicz) was born in Hollywood, California to Polish American parents and was raised in the Roman Catholic religion. She is an Emmy Award-nominated American stage and film actress and singer, who's best known for her role as Robert Wagner's wife and crime-fighting partner, Jennifer Hart, on the popular 1980s crime drama, Hart to Hart. For her contribution to the television industry, Powers has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at 6778 Hollywood Blvd.
Powers was married to actor Gary Lockwood between 1966 and 1972. She had a relationship with actor William Holden that led to their being involved with wildlife conservation. Following his death in 1981, Powers became President of the "William Holden Wildlife Foundation" and a director of the Mount Kenya Game Ranch in Kenya. In the United States, she works with both the Cincinnati and Atlanta zoos. She devotes a great deal of time to the cause and is international guest speaker on wildlife preservation. Wikipedia
Brig. Gen. Paul W. Tibbets Jr. (92) commander and pilot of the Enola Gay, the B-29 Superfortress that dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima in the final days of World War II, on Aug. 6, 1945.
Porter Wagoner (80) Country Music Hall of Fame member. He promoted Dolly Parton to super-stardom.
During the October 30 “The Point” segment of his CNN Headline News show Glenn Beck denounced the forthcoming Paramount Pictures movie G.I. Joe:
(G.I.Joe) “has now been discharged from the American military, and Hollywood now has him answering to some bullcrap international force like the U.N. We all know that the U.N. is a toothless bunch of pansies. They don’t deserve somebody like Joe, even the little plastic version.” He later asserted: “I believe some are trying to indoctrinate our kids into hating their own country, turning us into some one-world-government nightmare; hating America, turning it into a dirty word.”
“… the dystopian evidence seems overwhelming indeed, to the point where it might be no stretch at all to say the biggest threat facing America is perhaps not global warming, not perpetual warmongering, not garbage food or low-level radiation or way too much Lindsay Lohan, but a populace far too ignorant to know how to properly manage any of it, much less change it all for the better.” [Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist]
"To reject the nomination of Judge Michael Mukasey because he refuses to say what some members want him to say on this question, and he refuses as a matter of sincerely held legal belief...would be grossly unfair, an unjust act to this judge. May I suggest an alternative course...confirm him!" [Senator Kiss-Puss Lieberman]
"Three hundred and sixty-five days a year, in the wind and snow of winter and the heat of summer, let him tend to the graves of the almost 4,000 men and women who have given their lives in the debacle of Iraq. They honored their oaths, obeyed their commander-in-chief and sacrificed their lives of promise to a lying, unprincipled warmonger. He can begin at the grave of my grandson, Lcpl Jonathan W. Collins, killed in action on 8/8/2004."
[Alice Collins, on what Dubya can do post-White House]
"An FBI memo sent out said that an al-Qaeda detainee had given them some information that the next wave of terrorism could be in the form of setting wildfires." [Fox News, on the cause of the California wildfires]
"Or perhaps al-Qaeda is planning to infiltrate a cable news channel and staff it with morons." Jon Stewart
"Fred Thompson's wife said, 'They wanted me to come on the campaign bus,
and they said there wasn't any room for the changing table. And I'm not going unless you figure out how to get a changing table.'
And that's how the world first learned that Fred Thompson wears a diaper."
[Jon Stewart]
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WELL HOWDY, REV’LERS!
I’m Rev. Art. Welcome to our crib in Metro Fairborn and THE STAND-UP! - Its like America's Funniest Home Videos - but without the golf ball in the nuts!
It’s the weekend:
It’s a good time to reflect on the achievements and frustrations of the past week. A day to resolve to do better next week. A day to thank those people who helped.
A day to savor the great cycle of life turning in the cosmos. A day to experience the joy that comes with
humanity's sense of self-worth. And a
day to look deep down inside yourself
and say - who writes this shit!?
Thanx t' Tom's Lake Humor Co.
PLEASE - join Da Rev & Da Pagan Baby in contributing to an all out effort to eradicate a horrific malady brought to our attention by James Carville & his horribly disfigured wife. I hope we can count on a check from everyone here this weekend for $500. or more for continuing research into "Shrine Fits" (Attacks freshly shaved flesh!)…
I see where some half-naked bimbos are protesting dolphin fishing - which is controlled and only happens once a year. FYI - take it from Da Rev. - whale steaks are far better-tasting than dolphin burgers. What? You’re appalled? Don’t blame me, I just go to saloons that serve stuff. It's Bush's fault.
If some of these hot chicks from PETA wearing bikinis REALLY love whales that much, why won't one or more come over to my crib and help me clean my oosik? With all this blubber, it's quite difficult to take care of it by myself.
The Cat Lady that works with Da Pagan Baby - you may remember - she doesn't have a TV? She also doesn't read anything. She was in the office mailboxes gathering mail for the others in her group, when she just blurted out (to no one in particular) that she heard from someone who should know - that "Ron Paul would be a great President!"
It turns out the guy who lives & blogs in the trailer behind the Animal Shelter has a sign and told her about Dr. Paul.
THE LAHRD LOVES HIM A MOPAR!
I've found that strapping duct tape snugly behind my ears erases at least 15 years of surplus skin. Not only that, I now have a permanent smile, even if it is disturbingly similar to The Joker's.
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I wonder if Joe Mullins will grasp the irony here...
I’m trying to watch my food portions. I keep hearing that obesity may be caused by a virus. I think that’s my problem. In 1972 I went home after a bar gig with a fat chick and didn‘t use protection! I started porkin’ up big time soon afterwards.
D’ ya think there’s a shot for that?
On TV yesterday: A doctor said the problem with obesity is that many people who are obese just will not admit it. Here's a tip: You know you're obese if you walk through a revolving door - and you come out wedge-shaped. Thanx t' Tom's Lake Humor Co.
Everybody’s tryin’ to become svelte. There’s even a Catholic church in California with high-fiber, low-calorie communion wafers. They’re called, "I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jesus."
Think fast! Or consider. This sweet bit o’ trivia comes from Marty What was the only political entity to grant recognition to the Confederate States of America during the Civil War (1861-1865)?
A: Morocco
B: Prussia
C: France
D: The Vatican!
It’s 1977. The new J.C. Penney Catalog has arrived! 
Assignment: Please translate the following Rap song lyrics to standard English.
Artist: Notorious B.I.G.
Album: Ready to Die
Song: One more chance (remix)
Lyrics:
"First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin’ money
Those the ones I like ‘cause they don’t get nathan’
But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
Garbage, I turn like doorknobs
Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
However, I stay coochied down to the socks
Rings and watch filled with rocks..."
The translation is HERE!
I-I-I
The photo of Dennis Kucinich’s encounter with an extraterrestrial has surfaced: Laugh News
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Jake Novak's Humor Blog
Fed Rate Cut
The Federal Reserve reduced interest rates by another quarter point. This was expected to spur employment, reduce mortgage bills, and increase the number of credit card offers you get in the mail by 511%.
Comedian Argus Hamilton
Benito Giuliani again told a crowd Friday how tough he is on terrorism. It never ends. President Bush compared Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to Adolf Hitler on Thursday. That's silly. There's been a Broadway musical about Adolf Hitler but there could never be one about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad because there are no homosexuals in Iran. 
President Bush said Thursday he may leave the post of Attorney General vacant if the Senate is going to judge nominees so strictly over the question of whether waterboarding is torture. Everybody knows what's torture. Torture is the citizenry having to listen to a weekly debate over whether Gilligan should be replaced by Evita or Mussolini. 
Argentina's first lady Cristina Kirchner was elected president of the country Sunday. The brunette is an absolute knockout. She campaigned in a peasant blouse during rainy season and to this day no one can remember what her opponent looks like. 
Vladimir Putin was reported Wednesday to be bribing Russian voters with vodka. He can't serve another presidential term so he will become prime minister to stay in power. He doesn't trust his wife to be the president in his place like we do here in the Americas.
The U.S. Navy destroyer Arleigh Burke rescued a North Korean merchant ship from ruthless pirates who had seized the boat off the African coast of Somalia Tuesday. This wasn't the first time. Every year the North Koreans get lost on the way to Syria. 
"TIME TO THINK" - by Margaret Warfield
The "National Blackout" was called by black radio talk show hosts to take place Friday across the nation. They're asking black people not to spend any money for one day to protest conditions in America. For four hundred years they've been enslaved and discriminated against and marginalized, and suddenly it's everybody else's fault.
It's no use. If they want better treatment they will have to move to San Diego and set their houses on fire. 
The Pew Research Center poll on Wednesday said Hillary Clinton would beat Rudy Giuliani in a landslide nationwide. The wording of the question may have influenced the outcome. The pollsters asked, who do you think looks better in a dress? 
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Laura “Pickles” Bush agreed to wear a head covering in Saudi Arabia during her trip last week. It wasn't her first time. She had to wear a head scarf in the presence of the king thirty years ago when she asked for permission to marry into the Bush family. 
(Dangerous Idiot) Senator James Inhofe of Oklahoma gave a speech in the Senate last week quoting dozens of scientists who don't agree that man-made global warming is a problem. It may not be man-made but it is happening. The Antarctic is melting so fast that in their next movie, the penguins' mating ritual will include small talk in the hot tub. 
President Bush ripped a children's health bill Tuesday because it's paid for by cigarette taxes that hurt working people. He's right. It's working people who smoke, wealthy people with something to live for eat carrots and get their cholesterol tested. 
Thanx t' Tom's Lake Humor Co.
ROYALS
In London: Scotland Yard arrested two men for trying to extort money from a member of the royal family. Reports say the story involves drug use and hookers. Other reports say the story also
involves a donkey (No, NOT Camilla) - fishnet stockings - lime Jello - handcuffs - ostrich feathers - a bicycle seat - leather underwear - and a midget named Walter.
NINCOMPOOP NICOLE
Nicole Richie is seven months pregnant - and still smoking.
It's a Hollywood thing. Hollywood parents know if a baby smokes
before birth - the transition to heroin at age five will be
less stressful.
MORE Jake
Kids Today
A new study shows that young teens are rarely dating and attending events like school dances much less often. This is because most of them are sleeping with their teachers.
ANGELINA HAS A MESSAGE FOR RASH LIMBO...
Weak Dollar, Strong Profits
The ever-weakening dollar is helping some U.S. companies, like Colgate, make more profits overseas. You know the dollar is really weak when toothpaste becomes cheap enough for Europeans to buy it.
MORE Argus
Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert tried to run for president in the South Carolina primary Wednesday. He filed as a Democrat because Republicans demand a thirty-five-thousand-dollar filing fee. Republicans keep comedians out of the race by charging them the same price for filing fees that comedians charge the Republicans for banquets.
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HAPPY 65TH BIRTHDAY TO STEPHANIE POWERS!
If hotness were a freezer, I'd fill her with my meat.
There once was a man from Khartoum
Who took a lesbian to his room
They argued all night
About who had the right
To do what, with what, to whom
HUNKS FOR THE LADIES
This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says, "I'll be home in an hour."
"Perfect," she replies.
The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife? She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half."
The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I do?" he asks. The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around?"
"Yes" the man replied. "Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said the Doctor.
The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't NEED Viagra with the housekeeper. . ."
A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out, however, that it's closed. So the guy ends up going down to the local bar to use the vending machine. While there he has a few beer and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he knows it's 3:00 AM.
"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"
She got him some and he rubbed it all over his hands. When he got home his wife was up waiting for him and she was furious.
"Where the hell have you been!"
He said, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her."
"Let me see your hands!" she demanded.
He showed his wife his powdery hands.
"Damn liar, You were out bowling again!"
THE wife had become so domineering that her husband insisted she see a psychiatrist. The wife consented, and the couple went to a doctor. The husband waited outside, and when his spouse emerged after the hour-long session, he asked, "Did you make any progress?"
"Not much," she replied. "It took me fifty minutes to convince that man that his couch would look better against the wall."
GIRL : When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy : It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl : Well that's because we aren't married yet.
